« »
Comic

Page 15: Tiger Woods

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

Great job by Owen on this page, love it.  Flat colors by Kaezrer.

175 Responses to “Page 15: Tiger Woods”

  1. Mr Wolf Says:

    “Now that I have told you this, they will be coming to get you.”
    GREAT. THANKS. AWESOME. Now I have a major intelligence agency after me. Worst day of my life.

  2. Jon Pander Says:

    Mr Wolf: “GREAT. THANKS. AWESOME. Now I have a major intelligence agency after me. Worst day of my life.”
    Don’t be such a downer. It worked out fine for Arnold in Total Recall.

  3. Cooki Says:

    Um, I just want to ask…
    Is that supposed to be the same zombie from 2 pages back? I noticed that that one seems to be more… decomposed than the one in this post.

  4. Cooki Says:

    Well, it also looks like his skin’s a shirt, so I guess we could say it was artistic liscence…
    But really?

  5. Cooki Says:

    Zombie Jesus Day is famous.
    Pander, look something called “Holy Bibble” up.
    Very good and written by ‘guys’ with the same mindset as you.

  6. Jon Pander Says:

    Cooki: “Is that supposed to be the same zombie from 2 pages back? I noticed that that one seems to be more… decomposed than the one in this post.”
    He’s been working out.

    “Zombie Jesus Day is famous.”
    Of course it is. I came up with the name.

    “Pander, look something called “Holy Bibble” up.”
    Soon as I’m done reading the Torrah.

    (if no one gets this joke, I will elaborate.)

    “Very good and written by ‘guys’ with the same mindset as you.”
    A book on a life of being hedonistic and obsessed with shower orgies? I sense copyright infringement.

  7. Glafna Says:

    Honestly, I love the comic, but it takes forever for you guys to update.

  8. Senchar Says:

    I love this comic too, and it’s sad that it’s not updated very often, but all of you who are complaining about it, come on… Obviously they’re busy, and believe or not, talent actually takes a lot of time to process. Also, a freaking MOVIE deal! Come on! If you’re really thirsty for some of his other comics, you should read Dreamless. It’s really good too! Granted, so far there aren’t any zombies, but I love it just as much.

    I’m just happy that they update at all, considering they don’t exactly get paid for this! 😀

  9. Jon Pander Says:

    Glafna: “Honestly, I love the comic, but it takes forever for you guys to update.”
    Learning to properly fight ninjas takes time.

    Senchar: “Obviously they’re busy, and believe or not, talent actually takes a lot of time to process.”
    Technically, Bobby already admitted that it’s just because he’s being lazy.

    But I’m pretty sure the ninja training is factor.

    “I’m just happy that they update at all, considering they don’t exactly get paid for this!”
    …Waitasecond… where are my checks going to then?

  10. Dauphinmort Says:

    I’ve been a reader for a while, and even when there isn’t an update, it’s always pretty amusing to read through the comments, Jon Pander always makes it worthwhile. Speaking of which, kudos to the Torah joke, haha.

  11. az Says:

    I love this comic but the incredibly lengthy posts are killer to sift/scroll through.

  12. Caity Says:

    I have to wonder why people complain about the length of the posts when they are pretty much the entertainment until the next update. I wouldn’t be surprised if Pander were, in fact, hired to keep people coming back every other day or so.

    Pander: “With your penchant for guns, one day you might -be- wanted.
    Don’t worry, the Church of Pander can always be a sanctuary for hotties.”
    The former is true, the latter is good to know.

    “So are you saying Easter should be Zombie Jesus Day?”
    Technically, yes. Although you wouldn’t find me saying that the next time I go to church as you have requested of Mr. Wolf, sorry. Maybe he will accommodate you in that respect. He hasn’t refused yet, after all.

    “As a jew, I can say with authority that if the Christian Church empasized katana-usage more, they’d have even more converts.”
    ::snickers:: This is also probably true. It would appeal to a younger audience at least.

    “But I would have gotten some from you, so I’d be happy”
    Oh, I’m sure you *would* be ^.~

    “Fine, if you want you can be involved in the private interview process after the wet t-shirt contest. I’m fine with the threesome.”
    Haha, of course you are, as well as ‘moresomes’ as I think was stated in a previous post. It’s just a matter of if you can convince us ^.~

    “Whenever I load anything, it never shoots blanks.”
    Pffhaha! Oh man, double entendres almost never get old.

    “Might I suggest filming a porno as the interview process?”
    Hmm, well it might put some at a disadvantage, since some people might get…camera shy. Kind of like people who can learn material but then do poorly on tests. Although, I’ve never been among those test shy people, but I can sympathize.

    Also, Pander, you probably *would* like Holy Bibble. I read it for years, then wandered off when it went on hiatus and recently came back now that it’s semi-animated. But yeah, the humor is right up your alley.

  13. Jon Pander Says:

    Dauphinmort: ” Jon Pander always makes it worthwhile.”
    That’s what she said.

    az: “I love this comic”
    Who doesn’t?

    “the incredibly lengthy posts”
    That’s what she said too!

    Caity: “I wouldn’t be surprised if Pander were, in fact, hired to keep people coming back every other day or so.”
    Bobby, I think they’re on to me.

    “The former is true, the latter is good to know.”
    You’ll be safe from the authorities in the shower orgy.

    “::snickers:: This is also probably true. It would appeal to a younger audience at least.”
    And you can play hard rock music as you draw the katana also. Instead of those ‘hymns’

    “Oh, I’m sure you *would* be ^.~”
    Let’s test that theory, shall we?

    “Haha, of course you are, as well as ‘moresomes’ as I think was stated in a previous post.”
    As long as it’s the right type of moresome – one guy (me) any number of hot girls. Not the type that has more than one guy because that’s just wrong.

    “It’s just a matter of if you can convince us ^.~”
    I can be very convincing.

    “Oh man, double entendres almost never get old.”
    Double your pleasure, double your fun.

    “Hmm, well it might put some at a disadvantage, since some people might get…camera shy.”
    Don’t worry, the camera can be hidden.

    “Kind of like people who can learn material but then do poorly on tests.”
    In the shower orgy test, you get points just for showing up. Additional points for every article of clothing removed.

    “Also, Pander, you probably *would* like Holy Bibble.”
    Ammen.

    “I read it for years, then wandered off when it went on hiatus and recently came back now that it’s semi-animated.”
    My favorite part is Gennessis.

    Please tell me you’re getting the jokke?

    “But yeah, the humor is right up your alley.”
    Turning people into salt, making a tasty apple tree then saying ‘don’t eat that thing!’, saying ‘I’ll give you a woman but you gotta give me a rib’.

    To quote Stewie Griffin, “I love God. He’s so deliciously evil.”

    He’s very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.

  14. Jareth Says:

    hell jeah this really is freakin cool stuff^^ can i say more? xD
    i just read the whole comic today and it really is great. i dont understand everything because english is not my mother language but i think the author really has some kind of so called black humor 😀
    i really love this comic. its in my favorite list.
    just like:
    goblinscomic, dibcomics and vinland saga^^

  15. me Says:

    please post up a new page

  16. Atan Says:

    only one thing to say: BOOM HEADSHOT!!

    btw, how come the colors are so, i don’t know colorful?? i think I liked the more greyscale like ones better, not that this is bad, but this is going from a more art like comic to a ‘commercial’ comic, I’ll see how it goes on, it doesn’t really bother me but i just noticed it 🙂

  17. Jon Pander Says:

    Jareth: “hell jeah this really is freakin cool stuff^^ can i say more? xD”
    No, you may not.

    “i just read the whole comic today and it really is great.”
    Hey I said you couldn’t say more.
    What a rebel.

    “i dont understand everything because english is not my mother language”
    You know, I always wondered about going up to strange, hot women, and speaking in a heavy accent and saying some lewd suggestion, smiling and extending my hand. That way even if they say no, they think I just did not understand the language.

    “but i think the author really has some kind of so called black humor”
    Bobby’s humor is more black than Showtime at the Apollo.

    “goblinscomic, dibcomics and vinland saga^^”
    Oh… Tarol Hunt and the gang there at Goblins love hearing from me as well.

    Atan: “only one thing to say: BOOM HEADSHOT!!”
    Been there, done that.

    “btw, how come the colors are so, i don’t know colorful??”
    Three letters.
    L.S.D.

    “i think I liked the more greyscale like ones better, not that this is bad, but this is going from a more art like comic to a ‘commercial’ comic,”
    If you were Dorothy, you’d never have wanted to go to Oz in the first place.

  18. Sarah Says:

    I actually love this!
    The art is always so good and the vampires have a definite vampire-y feel and look about them
    alot of graphic novels involving vampires just have normal people with fangs stuck on, typically really hot people
    but this is so much more realistic!
    If that makes any sense in context with zombies and vampires and zombie vampires >_>
    Good job!

  19. Mike Avery Says:

    Hey, new reader, new poster. First of all- Jesus Christ, you got three or four midsize novel’s worth of comedic material just in the fucking posts! Man, how long do you guys spend constructing these witty repartees? Also, I read someone asking about an influx of interest in the zombie genre- I can’t say whether or not there’s been an increase, but I’m likewise shocked by the popularity of it- zombie walks, zombie survival guides, website after website….my ex-girlfriend/best friend/drug buddy introduced me to it, took me to a zombie walk in Vancouver, and I’ve been hooked since then. That’s how I discovered this comic, which is definitely top of the barrel….schaemiac. That’s genius, to take two of the oldest and most whipped traditions of horror and combine them in a way that doesn’t seem hackneyed….that takes some doing. Also, tequila shower orgies suck. Hash, rum and hot tubs, dudes. Do this shit right.

  20. Jon Pander Says:

    Sarah: “The art is always so good and the vampires have a definite vampire-y feel and look about them”
    One sec, must look up ‘vampire-y’ in the Oxford dictionary, despite my agreement with you so far.

    “alot of graphic novels involving vampires just have normal people with fangs stuck on,”
    You do realize they’re comic book characters, not real. Right?

    Except Mac. He’s so awesome that the distinction between real and drawn no longer matters.

    “typically really hot people”
    Nothing wrong with that, unless they also have glitter on them.

    “but this is so much more realistic!”
    Funny thing – this comic is actually based on real events. Remember, from a few years ago?

    Mike Avery: “First of all- Jesus Christ,”
    Wrong deity.

    “you got three or four midsize novel’s worth of comedic material just in the fucking posts!”
    Wokka wokka wokka.

    “Man, how long do you guys spend constructing these witty repartees?”
    Not nearly as long as you’d expect.

    “That’s how I discovered this comic, which is definitely top of the barrel….”
    This is definitely the best post-apocalyptic comic about zombies versus vampires which has ever been written in the annals of mankind

    Heheh…. I said annals.

    “Also, tequila shower orgies suck.”
    Ok man, I was gonna give you a high five until you said that. Now I’m gonna haveta call you out so you can meet my two friends – thunder *holds up left fist* and lightning *holds up right fist*

    “Hash, rum and hot tubs,”
    I’ve had a moment to reflect….. and I think the Church of Pander is open minded enough to have both shower orgies AND hash/rum/hot tub orgies. I’ll let you know how it will turn out – probably will write another Penthouse Letter (Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me, but…)

  21. Lovin' It Says:

    Ya know what? Mac’s pose kinda looks like the cliche silhouette (I have no idea if that spelling is right, sorry. And yes, I am too busy to look it up) of a Samurai holding up his sword…which of course only adds to Mac’s sheer awesomeness…
    Hehe…Can’t wait for more!

  22. Mike Avery Says:

    Pander buddy, I never met a deity I couldn’t take. I also never encountered a church that advocated pornstar-style drunken shagging. Do I have to pay for membership, or what?
    Also: I’ve never been a big fan of vampire fiction- Bram Stoker took the original mythology and twisted it severly. I grew up on the original stories, of Verdilak and wamphyr (my great aunt was from the ‘old country,’ I never ascertained which, and she was fucking insane), and the modern vampire cliche never seems to be quite as compelling.
    Zombie fiction, on the other hand, fascinates me, because, like some indie films, and most modern pornography, it makes a virtue out of cheeziness. Kitsch, I believe it’s called.
    That said, after seeing reams and reams of tacky, tacky zombie flicks and comics and shit, something like this- that keeps the humor but somehow reinvents zombies as a compelling tool of the fiction- is a breath of fresh air. So yeah, top of the barrel.

  23. Nuin Says:

    Dear Mr. Avery,

    If you’ve read the post then you know other men are not allowed in the Church of Pander. He is not big on the sharing of his hotties. And why should he, being a deity and all.

    However you seem reasonably intelligent and i will go ahead and assume attractive. Though nowhere near the god like sex appeal of pander. But as such you may look into the subsidiary church under the ever capable leadership of caity. It really is a good deal. Just a small fee (you should really talk to jessica here) and go ahead and prepare for the occasional tributes of weaponry in her honor. I mean really you couldn’t ask for a better high priestess to be a minion for.

  24. Caity Says:

    Pander: “Bobby, I think they’re on to me.”
    See, along with the keen gun sense, I can also have my spy-like moments.

    “You’ll be safe from the authorities in the shower orgy.”
    Is this under the logic of ‘they’ll never look there’ or ‘they’ll be too busy looking there’?

    “And you can play hard rock music as you draw the katana also. Instead of those ‘hymns’”
    Hard rock is all well and good, but as a music minor, I will admit I can appreciate some hymns.

    “Let’s test that theory, shall we?”
    Now what was my motivation for this again?

    “As long as it’s the right type of moresome – one guy (me) any number of hot girls. Not the type that has more than one guy because that’s just wrong.”
    ::snicker::: good to know you’re so…open-minded…no wait, I don’t think that’s the word I’m looking for…probably more something to do with having the self in mind…

    “I can be very convincing.”
    This is true, I mean I did end up as a High Priestess after all.

    “In the shower orgy test, you get points just for showing up. Additional points for every article of clothing removed.”
    Not to mention points for creativity, I’m sure.

    “My favorite part is Gennessis.

    Please tell me you’re getting the jokke?”
    Ugh, yes I am, but I wish I weren’t.

    “He’s very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.”
    I have a feeling you would enjoy omnipresence more…

    “Oh… Tarol Hunt and the gang there at Goblins love hearing from me as well.”
    Oh, you mean Bobby’s not the only artist that…….benefits….from your unique brand of encouragement?

    Mike Avery: “Man, how long do you guys spend constructing these witty repartees?”
    In my case, more time is spent scrolling up and down lately to copy paste…

    ” took me to a zombie walk in Vancouver, and I’ve been hooked since then.”
    I just saw an event post for one of these in my area and had to pause and then be very sad because I couldn’t go. Seriously, why did I not know about these sooner?

    “I grew up on the original stories, of Verdilak and wamphyr (my great aunt was from the ‘old country,’ I never ascertained which, and she was fucking insane), ”
    ::perks up:: story time? hehe, sorry, I love the old myths…I just wish my family had the type of members that told them…I have to satisfy myself with whatever mythology books/folklore/legend books I can find.

    “Zombie fiction, on the other hand, fascinates me, because, like some indie films, and most modern pornography, it makes a virtue out of cheeziness.”
    The frightening thing is when the ideas of the first and the last combine…there is a movie that exists called Zombie Strippers…I don’t think it’s really considered porn…but it’s bad enough anyway…hilarious in some places…but…eugh

    Nuin: “But as such you may look into the subsidiary church under the ever capable leadership of caity. ”
    ::starry eyed::: she’s recruiting for me *glee*

    “and go ahead and prepare for the occasional tributes of weaponry in her honor”
    ……I love this girl, I really do.

    “I mean really you couldn’t ask for a better high priestess to be a minion for.”
    okay, it’s official, Nuin is definitely one of my favorites. You are welcome in my subsidiary any day and have harem privileges

  25. HornetAC Says:

    Thank you for comics from Russia =)

Leave a Reply

Bad Behavior has blocked 415 access attempts in the last 7 days.