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Comic

Page 15: Tiger Woods

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

Great job by Owen on this page, love it.  Flat colors by Kaezrer.

175 Responses to “Page 15: Tiger Woods”

  1. Cicero Says:

    Hey, am I first???!!!

    Yay! Woot!!!

  2. Caity Says:

    Hmm, I was perplexed for a moment when the comic hadn’t quite loaded yet and I saw ‘no comments.’ This answers that hehe. Great job, on the exploding zombie head, I love that you can see Mac right through the whole in what I can only assume is perfect golfer’s pose.

    And if it’s not, it doesn’t matter. Because it’s Mac. And Mac is awesome.

  3. Drake Says:

    Very nice!

    Is this that the same zombie from two pages ago?

  4. Shade Says:

    Awesome Shot! Zombies go down quicker with golf balls thru the ol’ brain!

  5. Hayden Chase Says:

    wooooo third!

  6. Hayden Chase Says:

    and also Mac for the Win!

  7. Hannibal Says:

    The page is awesome but… that’s not the Zombie on the panels three back. That zombie had half his head already missing. So who is that one?

  8. shaun rules Says:

    that’s cool it reminds of a time killed a man and danced hooters

  9. Russian Says:

    Pwnage.

  10. Jon Pander Says:

    I was right. Ha.

  11. Jon Pander Says:

    Yknow, from the back that zombie looks like Alfred E Newman.

    What, me worry? Oh geez yes me worry cause Mac’s gonna hit golf ball through my hea-SPLAT!

  12. Jon Pander Says:

    Hannibal: “that’s not the Zombie on the panels three back. That zombie had half his head already missing. So who is that one?”
    Yknow, usually I’d make a snarky comment…. but Hannibal’s right. The zombie from 3 pages ago had part of the head missing.

    shaun rules:”that’s cool it reminds of a time killed a man and danced hooters”
    I want to say something snarky about this one too… but I have no idea what shaun is saying here. He danced on hooters? Went to hooters and watched the girlies dance? Explain man, explain!

  13. Irot9791 Says:

    wow… i really need to take up golfing..well worth the wait guys bravo

  14. Cillian Says:

    Editing mistakes like that happen when you don’t publish for 2 months ;-) Love the strip, can’t wait to see more.

  15. Milanovich Says:

    Wooooot new page!!! it is the same zombie as 1 or 2 pages ago, but not the one of 3 pages ago, it is about 32days ago after the first zombie came out of the water ^^ well see, keep up the good work Bobby

  16. MadMann135 Says:

    Mike’s theory that he is AWESOME is confirmed. Maybe he hit a different undead’s head

  17. Cyric Says:

    Drake Says:

    April 8th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
    Very nice!

    Is this that the same zombie from two pages ago?

    How should we remember? That page came out like half a year ago. :p

    Must say I would have been expected better from a page that took more than a month to be made … I guess it must have been the perspicacious dialoge or the plot which is racing ahead with lightning speed? o.O

    Should really stop using this page as a walktrough to other comics …

  18. ThePrisoner Says:

    I need moooooooooore D:

  19. izzy Says:

    Awesome! I really love reading your comics, but you don’t update very much. I hear you’re making a movie? How is that?

  20. Altair Says:

    EPIC. I love Mac.

    “That’s because he’s dead.” lol

    Golf is boring. But Mac makes golf look badass.

  21. Cat Says:

    Now I’m curious as to how many people went back two pages to see if the guy looked like Tiger Woods.

  22. Jon Pander Says:

    MadMann135: “Mike’s theory that he is AWESOME is confirmed. Maybe he hit a different undead’s head”
    Who’s Mike, and why is he trying to steal away Mac’s awesome shot?

    ThePrisoner: “I need moooooooooore D:”
    Get back you addict!

    Altair: “Golf is boring. But Mac makes golf look badass.”
    Mac can make anything look badss, including tweezing ones eyebrows, using cuticle scissors for a hangnail… even going to the bathroom.

    Actually I think that’s how Mac might take out the next zombie.

  23. Hannibal Says:

    Thanks for not snarking Jon :)

  24. Caity Says:

    Hmm, maybe what we can’t see yet is that the zombie head we’re looking through was actually right behind the first zombie, and Mac hit it through both zombie heads. Thus, we’re actually looking through two zombie heads instead of one? Because Mac is that awesome, he could totally pull it off.

  25. Tarrant Says:

    Maybe they’ve been shooting for a while?

  26. Jon Pander Says:

    Hannibal: “Thanks for not snarking Jon”
    Believe me I wanted to, but couldn’t.
    It’s like Speedy Gonzalez not saying Yeepa Yeepa andelay andelay!
    Or Starscream not trying to overthrow mulleted Megatron.
    Or Gilligan not messing up the plan to get off the island.
    or …. you get the idea.

    Caity: “Hmm, maybe what we can’t see yet is that the zombie head we’re looking through was actually right behind the first zombie, and Mac hit it through both zombie heads.”
    That would explain things, and is not beyond Mac’s awesome-fueled capabilities.

    “Because Mac is that awesome, he could totally pull it off.”
    Thank you for solving this conundrum. It’s been keeping me awake at night.

    Tarrant: “Maybe they’ve been shooting for a while?”
    I like Caity’s explanation better.

  27. Juan Navarro Says:

    WOW!
    That is an awesome panel!

  28. TuJu Says:

    Agreed, this one fucking rocks!

  29. sco3tt Says:

    Nice shot and excellent follow through. Mac sure got the biggest piece of that one.

    And if that was Tiger, I’m sure that somewhere in what was left of that barely functioning zombie brain, just before impact, he thought “Dam, that guy drives AWESOME!”

  30. Bill Says:

    Considering that the two were surprised that one zombie had somehow breached the sentry net, I find it difficult to consider that either a)multiple zombies breached the same point and were missed, b) they’ve been shooting for a while, or c) that it was a 2-fer.

    I’d have to concur with Cillian’s tongue-in-cheek comment. Longer production/print times can lead to editing errors. We shouldn’t be trying to explain it away for the artists and writers involved. It’s understandable they are busy with many projects, but this is obviously a mistake.

  31. random dude Says:

    yet as awesome as mac golfing ability is i still am getting the nagging fealing that alot of characters are about to kick it (and that mac isn’t protected from the crosshairs)

  32. Googler Says:

    Oh, I do love inconsistencies. No matter, the panel is beautiful nonetheless.

  33. Isaac A. Drake Says:

    That is the most unique zombie head-shot I’ve ever seen. Sweet.

  34. Caity Says:

    Pander: “Thank you for solving this conundrum. It’s been keeping me awake at night.”
    “I like Caity’s explanation better.”
    You’re welcome Pander, I aim to please…to an extent. hehe

    Bill: “We shouldn’t be trying to explain it away for the artists and writers involved. It’s understandable they are busy with many projects, but this is obviously a mistake.”
    I’m sure that we’re all well aware of the fact that it’s an error. I know I was. I was just having fun with it. I mean we have to do something while we wait heh. In any case, I wasn’t making excuses for them, and I’m sure that in the long run, they’ll fix it. There’s no harm in having a little fun hypothesizing regardless.

  35. rocky Says:

    nice to see a new comic, but it seems like some peoples brains have turned to mush during the wait, Hayden is the perfect example. he thinks he was third lol

  36. Jon Pander Says:

    Bill: “Considering that the two were surprised that one zombie had somehow breached the sentry net, I find it difficult to consider that either a)multiple zombies breached the same point and were missed, b) they’ve been shooting for a while, or c) that it was a 2-fer.”
    I’m pretty sure all those comments were jokes, Bill, to quasi-explain the different look of the zombie from 3 panels ago, rather than actual explanations.

    Now that I’ve explained it, I’m sure the joke is far funnier, right?

    Cause when you explain a joke, it makes it funny.

    Oh… wait, no…. :)

    random dude: “nagging fealing that alot of characters are about to kick it (and that mac isn’t protected from the crosshairs)”
    You shut your dirty mouth! *shakes you* You shut your dirty mouth right now! *points finger, then shakes you more* Mac never dies! Not ever!

    Isaac A. Drake: “That is the most unique zombie head-shot I’ve ever seen.”
    Reminds me of a scene in a Gene Hackman/Russell Crowe movie called The Quick and the Dead – except it’s Mac and a golf ball instead of Hackman using a gun, and a zombie instead of a rival gunfighter. :)

  37. Ben Says:

    I love the story. I love the page… or I *want* to love the page – but I can’t. There is absolutely no way the golf ball would be there unless it had ricocheted off the forehead of the viewer. We see mac at a straight shot through the hole in the zombiehead – which means it pretty much has to have been a completely flat trajectory from the man to the rotting dead thing. That’s a little unlikely at that distance, but people are allowed to be that badass in this universe, so it’s cool. The problem is that if it had been like that, the golf ball would be directly in between the hole and the viewer. I love the shot. I love the image. The golf ball really does add something, but… it’s *wrong*.

  38. Bobby Crosby Says:

    LOL. Nothing at all wrong with the position of the golf ball. You realize that the ball starts out on the ground (well, teed up, you know) and that it’s rising as it hits the zombie’s head, right? Obviously this is some crazy shit where a human (Mac) is capable of hitting a ball with so much force that it can go straight through the zombie’s head, and you’re FINE WITH THAT, but your problem is you think the ball would stop rising? I don’t get it.

  39. bubzee Says:

    heee! that is awesomely disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I love this comic *sighs contentedly*

  40. Jon Pander Says:

    Ben: “I love the page… or I *want* to love the page – but I can’t.”
    I feel for you Ben. Honestly I do.

    “There is absolutely no way the golf ball would be there unless it had ricocheted off the forehead of the viewer.”
    Didn’t I say in the LAST comments forum that one of the viewers was found dead in his apartment from fictional-golf-ball-blunt-trauma? PAY ATTENTION!!!!

    “We see mac at a straight shot through the hole in the zombiehead – which means it pretty much has to have been a completely flat trajectory from the man to the rotting dead thing.”
    Is there something about webcomics that makes people desperately want to argue about golf ball physics? Second person now.

    “The problem is that if it had been like that, the golf ball would be directly in between the hole and the viewer.”
    Possible answers:
    1) It obviously richocheted off the inside of the zombie’s head before exiting.
    2) After you reach the speed of light, physics take a vacation.
    3) …. why don’t you have this much trouble with the fact that it’s a zombie?
    4) Or the vampires…
    5) You’re forgetting physics of Korelev’s Third Corollary on Wicked Awesome. Which explains anything about the position of the ball (which is fine anyway), including the physics involved in Mac hitting it that hard and accurately.
    6) How anal does someone have to be to even bring this up?
    7) Would you like to send a letter to Mythbusters to determine the truth? I hear Jamie is an avid golfer.

    Bobby: “but your problem is you think the ball would stop rising? I don’t get it.”
    Do not underestimate how antsy some people get about golf ball physics. At least Systemz didn’t say anything about it yet. :)

  41. Pred Says:

    ^^ nice work pander, this ben guy Epic Fails

  42. Asphalt Says:

    Great timing with the masters :P

  43. Aieon Says:

    Aww he missed the one 2 strips back and hit another one :(
    I said he’d miss!
    (this one has both ears intact)

  44. Bobby Crosby Says:

    Well, that was an error — it was supposed to be the one from two pages back. I’m considering writing around it, though, but we’ll probably simply fix it at some point later (by giving a full head to the one from two pages back).

  45. Amy Says:

    Ben: “I love the shot. I love the image. The golf ball really does add something, but… it’s *wrong*.”

    I know Jon and Bobby have already commented on this but…

    It’s not wrong. I scrolled all the way back up to check. If you trace a line from the ground where the ball would’ve been to where it is. It is done perfectly.

    Awesome Job, guys. Keep it up.

  46. Jon Pander Says:

    Bobby: “I’m considering writing around it, though, but we’ll probably simply fix it at some point later (by giving a full head to the one from two pages back).”

    Minus the nose? I remember you saying the reason it was drawn like that a few pages ago was to explain why it wasn’t charging at them (since it couldn’t smell them or something?)

    Then again it could always be that this was one of the ‘later’ zombies who was turned, so his super smell hadn’t even kicked in yet.

  47. Jessica Says:

    “After you reach the speed of light, physics take a vacation.”

    Nah, just becomes largely theoretical. And complicated. And fun.

  48. soilent Says:

    Woods doesn’t have a Beard, but this Page is Awesome non the less :D

  49. darthclaire Says:

    wow, the flying cranium was worth the wait. Nice.

  50. Jon Pander Says:

    Jessica Says: “Nah, just becomes largely theoretical. And complicated. And fun.”
    Just like vacations.

  51. Dylan Says:

    lol now i wana see him do that threw like a row of 5 zombies :p that would be awsome. . . or even the executioner from Resident Evil 5 hehehe. . . that would be awsome

  52. Dylan Says:

    Awesome*
    Awesome*

  53. Jessica Says:

    Jon Pander: “Just like vacations.”

    Yes, exactly like vacations. Especially the first part.

  54. Lydia Says:

    Pfft, don’t you know Tiger Woods is Jesus?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ1st1Vw2kY
    Viral marketing at its best.

  55. huh Says:

    First :)

  56. Jon Pander Says:

    Dylan: “or even the executioner from Resident Evil 5 hehehe. . . that would be awsome”
    Shhh I havent played that game yet – no spoilers!

    Lydia: “Pfft, don’t you know Tiger Woods is Jesus?”
    I didn’t know that, but I did know that as a child, he was Mowgli from the Jungle Book

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbOeH8ufdLI

    As the hip-hop version of Baloo said, “You gotta C-O-N-C-E-N-Trate on B-E-I-N G-R-8.”

    “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ1st1Vw2kY”
    That was completely and utterly awesome.
    But it also means Tiger Woods would suck in a competition against Michael Phelps.
    Though… as a zombie, that does mean he won’t have to walk along the bottom of the ocean floor.

  57. Dylan Says:

    Lol Tiger may be Jesus but – he did loose the Masters yesterday :P to a guy who doesn’t even practice swing. lol but still Tiger is a Great athlete, but i was kinda hoping that he was gona fight Phil Mickelson that would been funny, because if you watched that Masters you could just see the hate in their eyes for each other :P

  58. Arilean Says:

    Gotta say, this is PRETTY DAMN AWESOME.
    It actually manages to make me not care that the characters look basicly pasted onto the backgrounds.. I dunno, looks funny.

  59. Arilean Says:

    I think it’s cause the characters are so detailed and have black outlines whereas the backgrounds aren’t and don’t. I mean, it’s not a HUGE deal, just a little bit of a detraction from what is usually amazing.

  60. Jon Pander Says:

    Dylan: “Lol Tiger may be Jesus but – he did loose the Masters yesterday to a guy who doesn’t even practice swing.”
    I guess yesterday he didnt C-O-N-C-E-N-Trade on B-E-I-N G-R-8.

    Arilean: “Gotta say, this is PRETTY DAMN AWESOME.
    It actually manages to make me not care that the characters look basicly pasted onto the backgrounds.. I dunno, looks funny.”
    Which post are you talking about?

  61. Jon Pander Says:

    Oh waiiit talking about the COMIC characters.

    What a novel idea. :)

  62. koernel Says:

    I have two words to say:

    Hell yeah!

  63. Bill M. Says:

    I am in agreement with the other Bill here, that’s a two-fer at least, mayby Mac’s shout wasn’t Fore, but Four, based on the number of zombies he took out with one shot…

    At least Mac didn’t accidentally use the trick balls that explode when struck.

    I vote that Mac be given a green jacket in honor of how awesome he is, because that shot was worthy of the Masters.

  64. Bill M. Says:

    Jessica Says: Nah, just becomes largely theoretical. And complicated. And fun.

    Sort of like me, the women from the board, a vat of jello, several cans of reddi-whip, and a bet on who can get covered up in cream the fastest as I try and eat my way into determining which lady wins.

    Since it will never happen, it’s largely theoretical, if the number of ladies outnumber the cans of reddi-whip, then winning gets complicated, and no matter which way, tons of fun.

  65. systemz Says:

    lol i gave up on the whole “reolistic” view on this comic lol. more or less because of the whole plane thing, but even still the art and everything else in this comic is great lol. But even still the view of Mac threw the zombies hes is simply “the Pinnacle of Epicness” (Pun intended even though im sure no one will get it).
    Dylan: “or even the executioner from Resident Evil 5 hehehe. . . that would be awsome”
    yes that would be awesome although it would also be cool to see mac or even one of the Vampires knee cap a zombie the “Upper Cut” or even “Straight” just like Chris Redfield, that would also make for a great scene :)

  66. Jessica Says:

    Bill M.: “Sort of like me, the women from the board, a vat of jello, several cans of reddi-whip, and a bet on who can get covered up in cream the fastest as I try and eat my way into determining which lady wins.”

    Sounds like an average day at the Church of Pander, doesn’t it, Jon?

  67. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Sounds like an average day at the Church of Pander, doesn’t it, Jon?”

    Haha, I was just going to say that Pander should watch out, as it sounds like someone is trying to encroach on his angle. Although, it is said that imitation is the highest form of flattery…maybe he can be a disciple of the Church heh

  68. Jon Pander Says:

    Bill M.: “I vote that Mac be given a green jacket in honor of how awesome he is, because that shot was worthy of the Masters.”
    According to my expert knowledge of golf, based on watching Happy Gilmore 5 times, I believe the jackets are gold or yellow or something like that.

    “Sort of like me, the women from the board, a vat of jello, several cans of reddi-whip, and a bet on who can get covered up in cream the fastest as I try and eat my way into determining which lady wins.”
    Or, as I like to say, an average Tueday.

    “Since it will never happen, it’s largely theoretical,”
    T-U-E-S-D-A-Y

    I C-O-N-C-E-N-Trade on B-E-I-N G-R-8

    “if the number of ladies outnumber the cans of reddi-whip, then winning gets complicated,”
    Only amateurs run out of reddi whip.

    systemz: “lol i gave up on the whole “reolistic” view on this comic lol. more or less because of the whole plane thing,”
    Yknow what, I think that’s actually a putter that Mac used!

    “But even still the view of Mac threw the zombies hes is simply “the Pinnacle of Epicness” (Pun intended even though im sure no one will get it).”
    That’s not much of a pun.

    Now if you were to say ‘He Got a hole in one’…. that’s a pun.

    I think.

    Jessica: “Sounds like an average day at the Church of Pander, doesn’t it, Jon?”
    I’m wondering if I need to sue Bill for copyright infringement on our Tuesday observances at the Church of Pander.

    Caity: “Haha, I was just going to say that Pander should watch out, as it sounds like someone is trying to encroach on his angle.”
    I don’t mind if someone tries to Milli Vanilli me.
    Everyone knows that a clone is never quite as good as the original.
    At least he’s picked someone of epic l33tness to attempt to emulate. I like to encourage the young’uns.

    “Although, it is said that imitation is the highest form of flattery…maybe he can be a disciple of the Church heh”
    Me no likey to sharey the hottie girlies.

    Except with other hottie girlies, of course.

  69. Bobby Crosby Says:

    A new Page 13 is up –

    http://lastblood.keenspot.com/main/2009/02/11/page-13-straggler/

    Thanks to Owen for making that change — didn’t even ask him to do it. Looks great.

  70. Bill M. Says:

    Ahem, Pander, if I may direct you to the following…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Masters

    Second paragraph of the Awards…

    As to the other thing, since I’m not in the Church of Pander (I refuse to become a eunuch, as was the requirement for new male members when I checked out membership a while back), and I am a 32-year old virgin on the internet, pretty much anything dealing with females is largely theoretical to me, which was the absurdity I was pointing out when I responded to Jessica’s comment.

  71. Marie Says:

    I thought Mac was turned into a vampire. Or am I thinking of someone else? I cannot remember who is who/what anymore, and my computer is so slow that by the time I read through the whole comic I would forget again. T_T

    (I am NOT complaining about the frequency of updates, before anyone can accuse me of it.)

  72. Jon Pander Says:

    Bobby: “Thanks to Owen for making that change — didn’t even ask him to do it.”
    Nice fix.

    Bill M.: “Ahem, Pander, if I may direct you to the following”
    Do we -have- to? Fiiiine.

    “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Masters
    Second paragraph of the Awards…”
    Obviously the people who edit Wikipedia are mistaken. Adam Sandler would not lie about something so important.

    “As to the other thing, since I’m not in the Church of Pander (I refuse to become a eunuch, as was the requirement for new male members when I checked out membership a while back),”
    No, I don’t believe that’s the requirement. The requirement is to be a hottie babe. Hearing the word eunuch makes me queasy.

    Besides I’ve occasionally allowed guys to work for the Church of Pander. OF course they have to pay for the privilege. If you wish to join in a non-eunuched capacity, let Jessica know, and she’ll let you know the payment schedule. She’s my Danica McKellar-lookalike financial planner.

    “and I am a 32-year old virgin on the internet,”
    This is perhaps the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Ever.

    Marie: “I thought Mac was turned into a vampire.”
    Mac is has too much awesome in him to be a mere vampire. He’s human through and through.

    “Or am I thinking of someone else?”
    You’re thinking of Murdo.

    ” I cannot remember who is who/what anymore, and my computer is so slow that by the time I read through the whole comic I would forget again. T_T”
    Do you remember the $50 you owe me at least?

  73. Bill M. Says:

    Jon Pander: “Obviously the people who edit Wikipedia are mistaken. Adam Sandler would not lie about something so important.”
    But I read it on the internet. People lie on the internet?

    “No, I don’t believe that’s the requirement. The requirement is to be a hottie babe. Hearing the word eunuch makes me queasy.”
    Well, it was one of your female interns, maybe it was just a reaction to how I looked that day.

    “Besides I’ve occasionally allowed guys to work for the Church of Pander. OF course they have to pay for the privilege. If you wish to join in a non-eunuched capacity, let Jessica know, and she’ll let you know the payment schedule. She’s my Danica McKellar-lookalike financial planner.”
    As soon as I develop a time machine, I’ll pick up the interest on the deposit of a penny several millennia from now, until then, I’ll just hear stuff second and third-hand.

    “This is perhaps the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Ever.”
    Like Metallica says, “Sad, but True.” No neighbor kids to play with, parents divorced while I was in elementary school, parents that were old enough to be grandparents when I was born, had to pick up and move in the 1st grade, so any friendships I did make were ripped to shreds and had to start anew in the middle of the school year at the new place… just be glad I don’t have pit in my basement where I’m shouting “IT PUTS THE LOTION ON THE SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!”

  74. Jon Pander Says:

    Bill M.: “But I read it on the internet.”
    Hrm… this is true. Indeed you are a very wily opponent, to use the words of someone who’s obviously wise, good looking, devlishly clever, great with the ladies and incredibly witty against me.

    Btw, like Rowr, I copyrighted ‘I read it on the internet’ as well. Please put a ™ after it.

    “People lie on the internet?”
    No, no they do not. No one lies on the internet. Everything on the internet is absolutely true.
    Including the previous post that I said that the wikipedia post which stated this is wrong.

    What? It worked for Kirk, Spock and Mudd.

    “Well, it was one of your female interns, maybe it was just a reaction to how I looked that day.”
    My female minions are quite protective of me and don’t like interlopers.
    I’d be glad to have you pay money to the Church of Pander in order to bask in the glory which is me.

    You remind me of a younger me. Except that you’re older.
    And except for that virgin thing you were talking about.

    But you quote my terminology, so I can see that you’re on the right track.

    “As soon as I develop a time machine, I’ll pick up the interest on the deposit of a penny several millennia from now, until then, I’ll just hear stuff second and third-hand.”
    But if you had access to a time machine in the future, wouldn’t you have already done this in the past?

    So where’s my money?

    “No neighbor kids to play with, parents divorced while I was in elementary school, parents that were old enough to be grandparents when I was born, had to pick up and move in the 1st grade, so any friendships I did make were ripped to shreds and had to start anew in the middle of the school year at the new place…”
    …. you’re trying to get one of my female minions to give you pity sex, arent you.

    ” just be glad I don’t have pit in my basement where I’m shouting “IT PUTS THE LOTION ON THE SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!””
    Where’s that head of security that I hired who likes to whip people?

  75. Jessica Says:

    Jon Pander: “Now if you were to say ‘He Got a hole in one’…. that’s a pun.”

    *groan* whether it is or not.

    “I’m wondering if I need to sue Bill for copyright infringement on our Tuesday observances at the Church of Pander.”

    Can you show damages? You might do better to simply consider it free advertising. Speaking of, I heard the phrase “super porno orgy” on the radio the other day. Have you started branching out into other media for recruitment without telling me?

    Bill M. : “I am a 32-year old virgin on the internet, pretty much anything dealing with females is largely theoretical to me, which was the absurdity I was pointing out when I responded to Jessica’s comment.”

    I wasn’t aware my comments encouraged quite this level of sharing. I’m a little uncomfortable now.

    Jon Pander: “Obviously the people who edit Wikipedia are mistaken. Adam Sandler would not lie about something so important.”

    But Adam Sandler said it in a movie, not on the internet.

    “If you wish to join in a non-eunuched capacity, let Jessica know, and she’ll let you know the payment schedule.”

    I’m sure we could find some sort of position for you. For instance, Jon’s current bodyguard appears to be MIA. For a nominal fee, you would be allowed to attend many of the Church’s functions (strictly as a voyeur, details of which functions depending entirely upon Jon’s whims). Alternatively, for an equally reasonable nominal fee, you could apply to Caity to join her congregation (and if you pass, join for another nominal fee), and then, for a small additional fee, you would be allowed to watch certain tequila shower orgies through one-way glass (according to Jon’s whim, of course). We promise it’s much better value for your dollar than a college education. (Really, would you rather attend a lecture on the sociology of gender, or view a tequila shower orgy?)

    Bill M.: “As soon as I develop a time machine, I’ll pick up the interest on the deposit of a penny several millennia from now, until then, I’ll just hear stuff second and third-hand.”

    Oh, I’m sure that won’t be necessary. Membership fees are perfectly reasonable, and can be scaled to a percentage of the income of the person in question. You know, like the Medieval Church’s tithe. We are a wholesome religious institution after all.

    Jon Pander: “Hrm… this is true. Indeed you are a very wily opponent, to use the words of someone who’s obviously wise, good looking, devlishly clever, great with the ladies and incredibly witty against me.”

    And modest. Don’t forget modest.

    “So where’s my money?”

    Working on it.

    “…. you’re trying to get one of my female minions to give you pity sex, arent you.”

    Personally, the discomfort and desire to edge away slowly are growing.

    “Where’s that head of security that I hired who likes to whip people?”

    Wasn’t your bodyguard named Dyllan or something? Does he like to whip people? I think he should have to pay a slightly higher (yet still an amazing bargain, I promise!) nominal fee for whipping privileges.

  76. Jessica Says:

    woops, the bodyguard’s named Deejay.

    Deejay, your payment for bodyguard privileges is due. Where’ve you been lately?

  77. Jessica Says:

    Okay, here’s a (much delayed) preliminary contract for Caity as High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander:

    For a nominal fee (to be determined), Caity will be given the rank of High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander.

    Her responsiblities will include:
    a) Sermons on the awesomeness of Batma-er… Mac, for the education of the masses.
    b) Leadership of the Last Blood chapter harem.
    c) Preliminary screening of applicants to the Last Blood chapter harem. (I’m assuming Jon will want to have a chance to look over all applicants who pass some sort of preliminary “hottie” test.)
    d) Management of her own harem, to suit her whims, provided her whims do not interfere with the whims of Pander.
    i) Caity may recruit members for her harem according to her own
    whims and desires.
    ii) Caity may charge a nominal fee to all members of her harem.
    A portion of this fee may be used to pay for her rank of High
    Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander.
    e) Massages.
    f) Maintaining the schedule of observances at the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander (eg. announcing the beginning of tequila shower orgies, reddi-whip-Tuesdays, and wet T-shirt contest days).
    g) Arranging screenings of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

    Her privileges will include:
    a) Her own harem. (See above for recruitment and payment details.)
    b) Vacation time to spend with her harem (of however else she chooses).
    c) Access to the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander’s weapon cache.
    d) Her own sumptuous wing in the palatial complex that is the Church of Pander for use as the headquarters of the Church of Caity, subsidiary branch of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander.
    e) The ability to direct the masses at her whim.

    This contract will be considered legally binding within the jursidiction of the United Forums of the Last Blood Comments pages.

    Let me know about any changes or additions either of you desire.

    (I really hope my attempts at spacing those sub-clauses don’t backfire horribly.)

  78. Jessica Says:

    Drat, my tabs disappeared. Okay, in the responsibilities section, consider i) and ii) to be d.i) and d.ii) please.

  79. Jon Pander Says:

    Jessica:
    First off I’d like to say you’re not allowed to say anything about my comments being too long anymore :)

    “Can you show damages?”
    We tend to charge male members for the privilege of watching it on videotape. There’s the damages

    “Speaking of, I heard the phrase “super porno orgy” on the radio the other day. Have you started branching out into other media for recruitment without telling me?”
    ….. maybe.

    “I wasn’t aware my comments encouraged quite this level of sharing. I’m a little uncomfortable now.”
    As are we all Jessica. As are we all.

    “For a nominal fee, you would be allowed to attend many of the Church’s functions (strictly as a voyeur, details of which functions depending entirely upon Jon’s whims).”
    And Jon is quite whimsical.

    “Alternatively, for an equally reasonable nominal fee, you could apply to Caity to join her congregation (and if you pass, join for another nominal fee), and then, for a small additional fee, you would be allowed to watch certain tequila shower orgies through one-way glass (according to Jon’s whim, of course).”
    I knew setting up that subsidiary was a good idea.

    ” Really, would you rather attend a lecture on the sociology of gender, or view a tequila shower orgy?”
    Not a tough choice, is it?

    “And modest. Don’t forget modest.”
    Yes. My modesty is only surpassed by my brilliance.

    “Wasn’t your bodyguard named Dyllan or something?”
    Well the bodyguard’s name is Deejay. But that was the bodyguard, not head of security. There was this dominatrix girl who wanted to be my head of security for the Church of Pander. She scared me.

  80. Alan Says:

    nice headshot Ive been waiting for this too come out for days

  81. Jessica Says:

    Jon Pander: “First off I’d like to say you’re not allowed to say anything about my comments being too long anymore”

    Okay, 1) I don’t think I’ve ever complained about the length of your comments, 2) I had a lot to catch up on, and 3) and he nails the landing with a comparatively short comment of his own.

    (Yes, you have my permission to do terrible things with the verb “nails.” Mostly because I know there’s nothing I can do to stop you.)

    Now, are you okay with the preliminary contract, or would you like me to make some changes?

  82. Dylan Says:

    I was his body guard O.o

  83. Dylan Says:

    Man i gotta pay more attention :P

  84. Jon Pander Says:

    Jessica: “(Yes, you have my permission to do terrible things with the verb “nails.” Mostly because I know there’s nothing I can do to stop you.)”
    Well that just isn’t fun then.

    “Now, are you okay with the preliminary contract, or would you like me to make some changes?”
    the contract looks good. Make it so, number one.

  85. Allan Says:

    Whens the next page due out? Love this comic!

  86. Jon Pander Says:

    Allan: “Whens the next page due out? Love this comic!”
    When Venus of the 12th House of Zod is in retrograde, and a pure white buffalo is born on the plains in the land of my people.

    That, according to legend, is when the story shall continue to unfold.

  87. tree Says:

    love the book, but seriously 2 months for three panels and three sentences?!

  88. Appletiser Says:

    Yeah, it’s a little excessive. Bobby Crosby = Fail

  89. Ben Says:

    Am I the only one that imagines Grady sounds like Bill from Left 4 Dead?

  90. Caity Says:

    oops, I’ve been bad (yes, Pander, like Jessica’s mention of ‘nails,’ use of this phrase is considered a freebie. If that ruins the fun of it then my evil scheme is successful…bwhahaha), I need to catch up.

    Jessica: “But Adam Sandler said it in a movie, not on the internet.”
    This is very true.

    “We are a wholesome religious institution after all.”
    *snickers* …wholesome…right. Haha, I suppose according to some people’s definitions…

    Pander/Jessica:”“…. you’re trying to get one of my female minions to give you pity sex, arent you.”

    Personally, the discomfort and desire to edge away slowly are growing.”
    I think this forum would be the wrong one to try this strategy. I mean there’s only Jessica and I here. Jessica’s your financial advisor and I’m a High Priestess of the Last Blood Chapter so…I mean I’m not sure we can really be counted as ‘minions’ per say. Although the use of the word ‘minions’ amuses me greatly and makes me think back to my box office job in college. My ‘manager’ called us her minions…I think you would have liked her, actually, Pander. hehe

    Jessica: “c) Access to the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander’s weapon cache.
    d) Her own sumptuous wing in the palatial complex that is the Church of Pander for use as the headquarters of the Church of Caity, subsidiary branch of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander.
    e) The ability to direct the masses at her whim.”
    I love clause c :::grin::: and I love the use of the word ‘sumptuous’…and the last one is just plain fun :::smirk:::

    I think I can agree to that, as long as Pander behaves himself as far as the massages are concerned. No ‘story’ ploys are going to slip by me, mister, my own word play skills are too keen to fall for that scheme XP hehe

    Pander:”Speaking of, I heard the phrase “super porno orgy” on the radio the other day. Have you started branching out into other media for recruitment without telling me?”
    ….. maybe.”
    Pander multitasks.

    “And Jon is quite whimsical.”
    As well as many other more euphemistic adjectives…

    “I knew setting up that subsidiary was a good idea.”
    Yup, additional money *cough* I mean members to your noble theological pursuits :::tries to keep a straight face:: Plus, I’m not hard to keep happy, thanks to clause c…plus it’s win/win because of the whole ‘girls with guns’ thing. ^.~

    “She scared me.”
    I think she scared a lot of people…actually I think she was one of the main reasons that the horde gained footing for a bit.

    ““First off I’d like to say you’re not allowed to say anything about my comments being too long anymore”

    Okay, 1) I don’t think I’ve ever complained about the length of your comments”
    Yeah, I think that might’ve been Marzipan…

  91. Jessica Says:

    Caity: “I think I can agree to that, as long as Pander behaves himself as far as the massages are concerned.”

    Would you like to insert some sort of sub-clause to that effect?

    If not, then you and Jon merely need to say, “I agree to the terms of the above contract” and we’ll consider it legally binding within the jursidiction of the United Forums of the Last Blood Comments pages.

    (Oh, and don’t tell Jon the reason we’re giving him permission to horribly misuse our turns of phrase is so that there’s no fun in it. I think that might spoil the strategy. I’m trying to train him here.)

  92. Jessica Says:

    Right, and this:

    Caity: “Yeah, I think that might’ve been Marzipan…”
    He’s been confusing me with Marzipan a lot lately. I think he should stop doing that. It’s not even that hard to tell us apart. I don’t use emoticons.

  93. Jon Pander Says:

    tree: “love the book,”
    whenever someone says this, there’s a ‘but’ coming….

    “but seriously 2 months for three panels and three sentences?!”
    Annnd bingo.

    Caity: “oops, I’ve been bad (yes, Pander, like Jessica’s mention of ‘nails,’ use of this phrase is considered a freebie.”
    That ruins the fun.

    “If that ruins the fun of it then my evil scheme is successful…bwhahaha),”
    And you mentioning it brings the fun back. If you’re a bit more ‘bad’ then you can have a special place in the tequila shower orgy.

    “*snickers* …wholesome…right.”
    Well… if there are threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and more….
    Wouldn’t you say that’s a whole lot of -somes?

    “I think this forum would be the wrong one to try this strategy. I mean there’s only Jessica and I here. Jessica’s your financial advisor and I’m a High Priestess of the Last Blood Chapter so…I mean I’m not sure we can really be counted as ‘minions’ per say.”
    I know. I need more Pander harem girls here like on Marry Me.

    “Although the use of the word ‘minions’ amuses me greatly and makes me think back to my box office job in college.”
    Well you -are- a minion.

    “My ‘manager’ called us her minions…I think you would have liked her, actually, Pander. hehe”
    Would she look good in a wet t-shirt?

    “No ’story’ ploys are going to slip by me, mister, my own word play skills are too keen to fall for that scheme XP ”
    Do not underestimate the breadth of my semantic perversity.

    “Pander multitasks.”
    It’s necessary for orgies, what can I say.

    “:::tries to keep a straight face::”
    Keeping anything straight regarding females is not a necessary requirement in the Church of Pander. Appreciated, but not required.

    “I think she scared a lot of people…actually I think she was one of the main reasons that the horde gained footing for a bit.”
    Yknow – true story. Seriously.
    I once was selling a cell phone on Craigslist, and of the 15 people who inquired about it online, one a self-proclaimed dominatrix who wanted to offer me twice the money I asked plus an ‘extra’ in services. Since I figured I’d probably be killed and skinned alive if I fell for it, I sold the phone to some guy who wanted to give it to his daughter.

    Jessica: “Would you like to insert some sort of sub-clause to that effect?”
    I believe that inserting imposisbilities into a contract can be a problem for contract validity.

    It’s like saying ‘If the sun turns blue for 25 minutes tomorrow, then I will not travel to Mars in my space-motorcycle.”

    “I think he should stop doing that. It’s not even that hard to tell us apart.”
    Why haven’t you been using your emoticons lately Jessica?

  94. Bill M. Says:

    Pander says: “Hrm… this is true. Indeed you are a very wily opponent, to use the words of someone who’s obviously wise, good looking, devlishly clever, great with the ladies and incredibly witty against me.

    Btw, like Rowr, I copyrighted ‘I read it on the internet’ as well. Please put a ™ after it.”

    Gotcha, I shall try to remember that in the future.

    “But if you had access to a time machine in the future, wouldn’t you have already done this in the past?

    So where’s my money?”

    Quantum mechanics do not work that way. I have to actually build the machine and set the events in motion before I can get access to it, not like Bill & Ted where I say I’ll put it there later and voila, there it is.

    “…. you’re trying to get one of my female minions to give you pity sex, arent you.”

    Pity sex? That’s a myth, unless Jaime & Adam have busted it… most women I’ve met may pity me, but none pity me that much, and I submit the feminine reactions to the comments here as exhibits as such.

    “Where’s that head of security that I hired who likes to whip people?”

    Oh, I reference Silence of the Lambs, and this is what I get…

    Jessica says: “Really, would you rather attend a lecture on the sociology of gender, or view a tequila shower orgy?”

    Depends upon the attractiveness of everyone involved…

    “Oh, I’m sure that won’t be necessary. Membership fees are perfectly reasonable, and can be scaled to a percentage of the income of the person in question. You know, like the Medieval Church’s tithe. We are a wholesome religious institution after all.”

    This was discussed with the intern I met with previously. I showed her my W-2s for the past two years. She said that the Church may have a sliding scale, but it doesn’t slide THAT low, and that is when the eunuch-ification was discussed.

    tree says: “love the book, but seriously 2 months for three panels and three sentences?!”

    Y’know, if you wrote a webcomic, you’d have some room to complain, even more so if you kept said webcomic updated on schedule. Otherwise, shut your mouth, or someone will be forced to shut it for you, for a fee.

  95. Jessica Says:

    Bill M: “Otherwise, shut your mouth, or someone will be forced to shut it for you, for a fee.”

    Oh, I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to find someone willing to do it for free.

  96. Bill M. Says:

    Jessica says: “Oh, I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to find someone willing to do it for free.”

    What? You’re cutting into my potential dues… See, Pander, women don’t want me anywhere near your church…

  97. Jessica Says:

    Bill M: “What? You’re cutting into my potential dues… See, Pander, women don’t want me anywhere near your church…”

    I just don’t want you anywhere near my profits. It’s no never mind to me whether you’re near his Church or not. Unless you’re distributing flyers or picketing or doing something else to keep people away. (Of course, picketing might just attract attention and increase popularity. Hmm…)

    Actually, to be perfectly honest, I thought you were making fun of the way I’ve been attaching fees to just about everything in my last few posts. (Okay, the vast majority of my posts in general.)

  98. Jon Pander Says:

    Bill M.: “Gotcha, I shall try to remember that in the future.”
    This is good. You are a worthy poster. I would hate to have to destroy you.

    “Quantum mechanics do not work that way. I have to actually build the machine and set the events in motion before I can get access to it, not like Bill & Ted where I say I’ll put it there later and voila, there it is.”
    Why can’t a different you from an alternate timeline have doen it already? Your alternate selves are lazy. Like monkeys. Monkeys on Giraffes.

    “Oh, I reference Silence of the Lambs, and this is what I get…”
    Yes, quoting Hannibal Lechter shall put me at ease. Seriously, where’s that security?

    “Y’know, if you wrote a webcomic, you’d have some room to complain, even more so if you kept said webcomic updated on schedule. Otherwise, shut your mouth, or someone will be forced to shut it for you, for a fee.”
    I write a webcomic where my updates are even more spread out than Bobby’s. I started it in 1994, and I haven’t quite gotten to the first page yet.

    Bill M.: “What? You’re cutting into my potential dues… See, Pander, women don’t want me anywhere near your church…”
    She’s the CHurch of Pander’s financial planner actually. True I do say all sorts of lewd things to her, but she’s more the money maker than the ‘shake her moneymaker’ Pander minion.

  99. Jessica Says:

    Jon Pander: “Do not underestimate the breadth of my semantic perversity.”
    No danger of that.

    “(Caity)“I think she scared a lot of people…actually I think she was one of the main reasons that the horde gained footing for a bit.”
    (Jon)Yknow – true story. Seriously.”
    Okay, we’ll add “New head of security” to the to-do list. Yes, Jon, you can “do” her in whatever way makes you happiest. Unless of course you’d rather hire a guy, or promote Deejay, if he ever shows up again.

    “I believe that inserting imposisbilities into a contract can be a problem for contract validity.”
    Alrighty then, just agree to the contract in the phrasing I suggested above, and then if Caity agrees, you’ll have a high priestess who likes to play with weapons. (Which is really the best way to go for a chapter of a church maintained in the comments board for a zombie comic.)

    Bill M: “Depends upon the attractiveness of everyone involved…”
    Recruitment to the Church of Pander is based on wet T-shirt contests. You may rest assured that all participants in the tequila shower orgies at the Church of Pander are highly attractive. Or, as Pander would say, “hottie babes.” (Also Pander, who, as previously discussed, being a deity, has the body of a god.)

    “This was discussed with the intern I met with previously.”
    I wasn’t aware the Church of Pander had interns. Jon, are there interns? Why aren’t they helping me draft contracts? And since when do they handle PR?

    “and that is when the eunuch-ification was discussed.”
    I don’t think the Church of Pander has any use for eunuchs. I’m thinking maybe this “intern” was actually an agent of the horde planted to sow disinformation.

    Jon Pander: “Seriously, where’s that security?”
    I don’t think Deejay’s posted on this page at all. I suppose we’ll have to find a replacement. Especially if the horde is infiltrating the PR branch of your Church with fake interns.

    Or you could officially agree to the contract I drafted and arm your High Priestess and let her take care of it.

    “She’s the CHurch of Pander’s financial planner actually.”
    You know, I think my job description should be a little more complicated than that, given that I’m negotiating the induction of your High Priestess and the subsidiary branch to the Church.

    “True I do say all sorts of lewd things to her”
    You’re actually much better behaved here than you are on the Marry Me comments.

    “but she’s more the money maker than the ’shake her moneymaker’ Pander minion.”
    Thanks for that.

    ————
    Oh, and I have a question which may have been answered already on some previous page, but I was just wondering, if vampires need a certain amount of blood per given time period, or else they undergo the long and painful transformation into a zombie overlord, do zombies need any kind of sustenance in order to keep going? If all the humans run out, will they attack animals? (I guess that question goes for both vampires-turned-zombie, and for “pure” zombies…) (Yeah, I forgot how to spell schemaeic… and now have made an attempt anyway…) Also, do the regular zombies keep decaying until they eventually fall apart?

  100. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Would you like to insert some sort of sub-clause to that effect?”
    Nah, I suppose it’s time to bite the bullet. ::clears throat:: I agree to the terms of the above contract. :::tries to ignore the ominous lightning flash and thunder crash:::

    “He’s been confusing me with Marzipan a lot lately. I think he should stop doing that. It’s not even that hard to tell us apart. I don’t use emoticons.”
    He needs more training, apparently.

    Pander: “That ruins the fun.”
    Bwhahaha!

    “And you mentioning it brings the fun back. If you’re a bit more ‘bad’ then you can have a special place in the tequila shower orgy.”
    Aww, drat. ::aside to Jessica:: you’ll have to take note of this in further training attempts. ::back to Pander:: you know, I’m probably going to regret asking this, but what constitutes a ‘special place’ in a tequila shower orgy?

    “Well… if there are threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and more….
    Wouldn’t you say that’s a whole lot of -somes?”
    Hmm…I can’t really argue with your perverse logic…this time.

    “I know. I need more Pander harem girls here like on Marry Me.”
    Unfortunately, Jessica and I are of the rare breed of female who enjoy the zombie genre. We could start upping the vampire advertising angle and probably draw more females…but I’m rather afraid they would turn out to be of the Twilight fangirl variety ::shudder:: I am proud to say that I liked vampires before they sparkled. What was that author smoking when she thought that up, anyway?

    “Well you -are- a minion.”
    Hmm…I don’t know that a High Priestess qualifies as a minion per say. Minion seems like a lower rank somehow.

    “Would she look good in a wet t-shirt?”
    Yes. And here’s an example of her brilliance. Have you ever read “The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales?” If not, you should, it’s funny. But anyway, for her senior production, she made stage adaptation of it. Later, she ended up holding a ‘midnight showing,’ which involved little red riding hood with a riding crop and the wolf on a leash (and before you begin to dream, it did not go into an x-rating, just more adult humor and innuendo). I could go on, but that’s enough for now.

    “Do not underestimate the breadth of my semantic perversity.”
    Oh I won’t, if I did, then I’d be more likely to fall for it at some point.

    “Keeping anything straight regarding females is not a necessary requirement in the Church of Pander. Appreciated, but not required.”
    Sorry, Pander, another difference between me and what seems like most of your harem…I don’t like girls that way, not even just occasionally.

    “Since I figured I’d probably be killed and skinned alive if I fell for it”
    That would be the ‘extra service’ mentioned, most likely.

    Bill M: “not like Bill & Ted where I say I’ll put it there later and voila, there it is.”
    Hah, those movies were great!

    “Pity sex? That’s a myth, unless Jaime & Adam have busted it…”
    ::snickers:: This week, on Mythbusters….

    “most women I’ve met may pity me, but none pity me that much, and I submit the feminine reactions to the comments here as exhibits as such.”
    Well, like I said before, you’d likely have a bit better luck on the Marry Me forum…at the very least, you might get invited to grope a few or handcuffed to some girl tied to a pole…and yes, in a virtual sense, that happened.

    “Otherwise, shut your mouth, or someone will be forced to shut it for you, for a fee.”
    Hah, you catch on quick.

    Jessica: “Actually, to be perfectly honest, I thought you were making fun of the way I’ve been attaching fees to just about everything in my last few posts. (Okay, the vast majority of my posts in general.)”
    You can’t be blamed for that, you have tuition fees to worry about, heh.

    “Okay, we’ll add “New head of security” to the to-do list. Yes, Jon, you can “do” her in whatever way makes you happiest. Unless of course you’d rather hire a guy, or promote Deejay, if he ever shows up again.”
    Deejay would probably remain a bodyguard (I think that’s what he was originally), mostly because I don’t think Pander would want females to take bullets for him or what-have-you. It creates the risk of reducing his female followers.

    “and then if Caity agrees, you’ll have a high priestess who likes to play with weapons. (Which is really the best way to go for a chapter of a church maintained in the comments board for a zombie comic.)”
    Huzzah ::grin::

    “(Also Pander, who, as previously discussed, being a deity, has the body of a god.)”
    Careful, don’t inflate his ego too much ^.~

    “I don’t think the Church of Pander has any use for eunuchs. I’m thinking maybe this “intern” was actually an agent of the horde planted to sow disinformation.”
    Well, there was that time when I was part of the horde and not affiliated with the church (see comments about aforesaid dominatrix) when I tried to implicate Jon as an incubus posing as a diety…

    “Or you could officially agree to the contract I drafted and arm your High Priestess and let her take care of it.”
    Heh, lock and load.

    “You know, I think my job description should be a little more complicated than that, given that I’m negotiating the induction of your High Priestess and the subsidiary branch to the Church.”
    I agree, that title doesn’t seem quite give you the credit that your effort has earned you.

    “Oh, and I have a question…”
    Hmm, I’m not sure in terms of this universe. Even in others, it varies. In the 28 Days Later-verse, they eventually died out from starvation, granted in that case they weren’t exactly zombies. They exhibited zombie-like qualities but were controlled by a virus. I can’t remember if other movies have their zombies starve at all or even address the issue. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen animals attacked by zombies (in Dawn of the Dead, the dog could run through them no problem). Although, now that I think of it, I can’t remember seeing any wild animals around in this comic, at least not yet.

    As for regular zombies, logically one would think so. There’s generally nothing special about them aside from being zombified. Thus, the elements should continue having a negative effect on them, as it would regular corpses…I mean, unless being reanimated has the same effect for them that being alive has for us? You’d think at least the ones with chunks of themselves missing would be effected by decay, but who knows?

  101. Bill M. Says:

    Jessica says: “Actually, to be perfectly honest, I thought you were making fun of the way I’ve been attaching fees to just about everything in my last few posts. (Okay, the vast majority of my posts in general.)”

    The few times I’ve ever made fun of any female (even if she’s made fun of me several hundred times), it’s been in a playful manner, and they’ve always acted as if I was Brutus with a knife, and they were Julius Caesar.

    Jon Pander says: “Why can’t a different you from an alternate timeline have done it already? Your alternate selves are lazy. Like monkeys. Monkeys on Giraffes.”

    Dude, alternate timeline versions of me aren’t sitting around on the internet, they’re out there with chainsaw swords and other assorted weapons, emulating the awesomeness of Mac.

    “Yes, quoting Hannibal Lechter shall put me at ease. Seriously, where’s that security?”


    I was quoting Buffalo Bill…
    I don’t suppose you’ve heard of Greens Keepers’ song “Lotion,” have you?
    Joe Dirt even used the line, and any movie with Christopher Walken can’t be all bad.

  102. Dylan Says:

    Lol reading these forms is almost a fun/epic as reading the comic :P

  103. Altair Says:

    Appletiser Says: Yeah, it’s a little excessive. Bobby Crosby = Fail

    You think that was excessive? Yeah, I agree. This whole thing is way too excessive and over the top. It shouldn’t be that way. It’s wrong, wrong, wrong. Last Blood should be more realistic and conservative, because it would be way more interesting and entertaining and badass that way. After all, what everyone really wants is a nice, conservative zombie webcomic with absolutely no awesome over-the-top stuff in it at all. Duh.

    So, let’s redo it and make it less ‘excessive’! WHO’S WITH ME? WHO’S BLOODY WITH ME?!?!?!?!!!?

    Crickets: *chirp* *chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

    Yeaaaah. Thought so.

    It’s page 15 of the second graphic novel. Seriously now, after 127 pages you must have figured out by now that LAST BLOOD LIKES TO GO OVER THE TOP. And we like it too. Well, ‘we’ meaning pretty much everyone but you, I guess.

  104. Bobby Crosby Says:

    I’m pretty sure Appletiser was talking about the long wait between pages. Bug me on Twitter if you want me to write more pages.

  105. Nuin Says:

    ok before i put my two cents in i want to state that i’m a girl and potential minion material so be kind. Alright then here goes…

    “Jessica Says: Oh, and I have a question…”
    I agree with catiy, in terms of this universe i have no idea. I tend to think of these zombies as the classic Night of the Living Dead Sense and not like the newer virus made zombies i.e. Resident Evil or 28 days later. Plus i have the bad habit of accepting everything George A. Romero say as gosspel when it comes to things zombish. That being said i remember watching a special where he was talking about the progression of his zombies; how they became slower, more decomposed throughout the movies and those things were always snacking on some hapless victim. So this leads me to think nothing can really sustain them and eventully they’ll just rot away. but until that happens aim for the head or hide behind Mac.

    Now, I have my own question. What exactly are the duties of a minion when not in tequila shower orgies, reddi-whip-Tuesdays, and wet T-shirt contest?

  106. Jon Pander Says:

    Jessica: “Okay, we’ll add “New head of security” to the to-do list. Yes, Jon, you can “do” her in whatever way makes you happiest. Unless of course you’d rather hire a guy, or promote Deejay, if he ever shows up again.”
    Nah, would rather have a girl do the job.

    Oh and I’d rather have a girl be head of security also, whiler we’re talking about that.

    “Recruitment to the Church of Pander is based on wet T-shirt contests. You may rest assured that all participants in the tequila shower orgies at the Church of Pander are highly attractive. Or, as Pander would say, “hottie babes.””
    Yes, we do not allow any ugg-os in the church of pander’s tequila orgies – we don’t even allow them to apply for the wet t-shirt contests.

    ” (Also Pander, who, as previously discussed, being a deity, has the body of a god.)”
    This is true.

    “I wasn’t aware the Church of Pander had interns.”
    I sometimes do go through my hottie babes ‘in turns’

    “Why aren’t they helping me draft contracts?”
    I’d rather have them contact my draft.

    “And since when do they handle PR?”
    They don’t. They handle other letters of the alphabet.
    I think you knwo which ones.

    “I’m thinking maybe this “intern” was actually an agent of the horde planted to sow disinformation.”
    Sounds likely.

    “Especially if the horde is infiltrating the PR branch of your Church with fake interns.”
    There are many thing which I don’t mind being fake on a woman, but credentials is not one of them

    “You know, I think my job description should be a little more complicated than that, given that I’m negotiating the induction of your High Priestess and the subsidiary branch to the Church.”
    financial Planner and Chief Exculpatator? It’s a word I just made up, but it sounds darned complex

    “You’re actually much better behaved here than you are on the Marry Me comments.”
    I’ll work on it.

    “Yeah, I forgot how to spell schemaeic… and now have made an attempt anyway…)”
    schaemiac

    Caity: “::back to Pander:: you know, I’m probably going to regret asking this, but what constitutes a ’special place’ in a tequila shower orgy?”
    The position you’re in regarding the nozzles and myself.

    “Hmm…I can’t really argue with your perverse logic…this time.”
    So that’s a yes on the three-some/four-some/five-somes,etc?

    “Unfortunately, Jessica and I are of the rare breed of female who enjoy the zombie genre.”
    Didnt I start of a few strips ago saying that most women do not like zombie genre? And I got all blasted by people about my chauvanistic ways? pfft. see? estrogen-based proof that I was right, people!

    “but I’m rather afraid they would turn out to be of the Twilight fangirl variety ::shudder::”
    Dear Me, no.

    “What was that author smoking when she thought that up, anyway?”
    Whatever it was, I’m sure it sparkled.

    “Hmm…I don’t know that a High Priestess qualifies as a minion per say. Minion seems like a lower rank somehow.”
    You’re a very highly ranked minion?

    “Yes. And here’s an example of her brilliance.”
    No need, if she looks good in a wet t-shirt.

    “which involved little red riding hood with a riding crop and the wolf on a leash (and before you begin to dream, it did not go into an x-rating, just more adult humor and innuendo).”
    Bow chicka bow wow

    “Sorry, Pander, another difference between me and what seems like most of your harem…I don’t like girls that way, not even just occasionally.”
    That’s fine. Just means more touching on me in the shower.

    “::snickers:: This week, on Mythbusters….”
    Sohmer should have done that on the ‘Sexbusters’ story arc of Least I could Do.

    “Deejay would probably remain a bodyguard (I think that’s what he was originally), mostly because I don’t think Pander would want females to take bullets for him or what-have-you.”
    I’m fine with having females by the bodyguard. Kung Fu/supergirl type babes are hotness personified.

    But Deejay can still be used to take the bullets.

    “Careful, don’t inflate his ego too much ^.~”
    Please. My ego’s so big that it has its own gravitational pull to rival most planets.

    Bill M.: “Dude, alternate timeline versions of me aren’t sitting around on the internet, they’re out there with chainsaw swords and other assorted weapons, emulating the awesomeness of Mac.”
    1) They’re still being lazy because they’re not making me money.
    2) Mac’s awesomeness transcends dimensions. It is unattainable by any, anywhere.

    “I was quoting Buffalo Bill…”
    Who I guess was the one that Hannibal Lechter also quoted.

    “I don’t suppose you’ve heard of Greens Keepers’ song “Lotion,” have you?”
    It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again?

    Dylan: “Lol reading these forms is almost a fun/epic as reading the comic”
    We aim to please.

    Nuin: “ok before i put my two cents in i want to state that i’m a girl and potential minion material so be kind.”
    Put on the T-shirt while I go get the hose.

    “Now, I have my own question. What exactly are the duties of a minion when not in tequila shower orgies, reddi-whip-Tuesdays, and wet T-shirt contest?”
    Serving my whims and desires. Which do tend to involve what you already mentioned.

  107. slavalley Says:

    I didnt bother to read though all of the previous statements but in case this has already been pointed out, my bad. I golf, and I mean a lot, so this bugged me. Mac is using right-handed golf clubs and swings righty in the last page. However in this page we see him in a left handed stance through the zombies head.

  108. Sara T. Says:

    Im sure Jon Pander knows her ways around the “Tequila showers” to well. I couldnt imagine this “church of pander” either… sounds like a bunch of….

  109. Bobby Crosby Says:

    He’s not in a left handed stance. This is the end of his follow through obviously and with a swing that powerful he lost his balance a little and his back (right) foot came forward and stepped across his body to his left a bit. If it was a left handed stance, that would mean he’s at the top of his backswing, hasn’t even hit the ball yet, and he’s aiming way the hell over to the left side of the panel, nowhere near the zombie. Both are a bit awkward, but it makes much more sense for it to be a right handed swing.

  110. Jon Pander Says:

    Sara T.: “Im sure Jon Pander knows her ways”
    His ways. The pander is el luchador machismo.

    “around the “Tequila showers” to well.”
    I pride myself on my thorough research.

    “I couldnt imagine this “church of pander” either…”
    I can help you to imagine it.

    “sounds like a bunch of….”
    hedonistic lucky girls and one lucky deity? Yep it is.

  111. Sara T. Says:

    John Pander:
    Sara T.: “Im sure Jon Pander knows her ways”
    His ways. The pander is el luchador machismo.

    Sorry didnt know you were a man… or are u just using the name of this “guy”.

  112. Jon Pander Says:

    Cicero: “Hey, am I first???!!!”
    Sorry, upon further reflection, I’ve determined that the comments go from the bottom up. You are not first. I am first. You are last. Boo.

    “Yay! Woot!!!”
    Nono no. Boo.

  113. Jessica Says:

    Feeling bored, Jon?

  114. Jon Pander Says:

    Jessica: “Feeling bored, Jon?”
    Sorta.

    All work and no talk of shower orgies makes Jon a bored deity.

  115. Caity Says:

    Nuin: “I agree with catiy”
    Well, you’ve already won *me* over ::snicker:: ^.^

    “That being said i remember watching a special where he was talking about the progression of his zombies; how they became slower, more decomposed throughout the movies and those things were always snacking on some hapless victim.”
    That sounds like something I would watch if I saw it advertised hehe

    Pander: “I sometimes do go through my hottie babes ‘in turns’
    ::groans:: why the puns, Pander? Are you trying to make me regret agreeing to the contract already?

    “The position you’re in regarding the nozzles and myself.”
    Somehow I figured it’d be something along those lines.

    “So that’s a yes on the three-some/four-some/five-somes,etc?”
    ::shrug:: it’s your church, what you do with your harem and what they consent to is none of my business

    “Didnt I start of a few strips ago saying that most women do not like zombie genre? And I got all blasted by people about my chauvanistic ways? pfft. see? estrogen-based proof that I was right, people!”
    I said rare, not nonexistent heh

    “Whatever it was, I’m sure it sparkled.”
    By the way, ended up seeing the movie the other day with a friend of mine…it was painful. It burned and I think part of me died a little.

    “Bow chicka bow wow”
    I thought you’d like that.

    “That’s fine. Just means more touching on me in the shower.”
    You’re a ‘glass is half full’ sort of guy, aren’t you?

    “Please. My ego’s so big that it has its own gravitational pull to rival most planets.”
    It’s true…and probably at least partially explains why so many girls on the Marry Me forum have flocked to your harem and participated in various exploits…

    Jessica: “Feeling bored, Jon?”
    He’s resorting to this because neither of us have responded to his last large post in about 3 days and I think we pretty much do most of the fire feeding around here. Heh, of everyone, I think the three of us write the longest posts ::grin::

  116. Caity Says:

    Hey Jessica, Nuin, I just found the last blood FAQ, so looky what I found out hehe:

    • Do zombies decompose or starve?
    They do not starve and they can last years, possibly forever, before decomposing.

    so I guess that answers that for the last blood universe…

  117. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: “::groans:: why the puns, Pander?”
    just call me Jon Pun-der.

    “Are you trying to make me regret agreeing to the contract already?”
    Of course not.

    “::shrug:: it’s your church, what you do with your harem and what they consent to is none of my business”
    You know, the harem babes don’t have to listen to my puns….. wink wink.

    “I said rare, not nonexistent heh”
    If you were a guy and said that you’d still have a bunch of angry women proclaiming otherwise.

    “By the way, ended up seeing the movie the other day with a friend of mine…”
    My condolences

    “it was painful.”
    Watching Twilight is probably the closest that a man can get in feeling uncomfortable to a gynecological exam.

    “It burned and I think part of me died a little.”
    You should have done what Indy did when they opened the Ark – close your eyes Miriam! Don’t Look! No matter what!

    Then you’d only have gone deaf from the crappy dialogue.

    “I thought you’d like that.”
    Yes, thank you.

    “You’re a ‘glass is half full’ sort of guy, aren’t you?”
    If the glass is half full, it can be half full of tequila, which is useful for getting the girl drunk.

    “It’s true…and probably at least partially explains why so many girls on the Marry Me forum have flocked to your harem and participated in various exploits…”
    I prefer to refer to my various exploits as my ‘zany madcap adventures’.

    “e’s resorting to this because neither of us have responded to his last large post in about 3 days and I think we pretty much do most of the fire feeding around here.”
    I know. What gives?

    “Heh, of everyone, I think the three of us write the longest posts ::grin::”
    Size does matter.

  118. Bill M. Says:

    Jon Pander says: “1) They’re still being lazy because they’re not making me money.
    2) Mac’s awesomeness transcends dimensions. It is unattainable by any, anywhere.”

    1) They’re making alternate timeline versions of you money. The alternate timeline versions of you, I’m told, are against sending money to this timeline, something about tequila showers and wet t-shirt contests
    2) There’s a difference between emulating and attaining.

    “Who I guess was the one that Hannibal Lechter also quoted.”

    I really don’t remember Lecter saying that line. He’s more the “fava beans and a nice chianti” quote from that movie, in terms of infamy.

  119. Caity Says:

    Pander: “just call me Jon Pun-der.”
    *sigh* it would be so easy to hate you right now…

    “You know, the harem babes don’t have to listen to my puns….. wink wink.”
    Huh, decent logic. If it were a bit later and I were a lot sleepier, I might fall for it. But I’ll keep my title, thank you.

    “Watching Twilight is probably the closest that a man can get in feeling uncomfortable to a gynecological exam.”
    Heh….hehe I think that bit of amusement brought some of the things that died back to life

    “Yes, thank you.”
    You’re welcome ^.~

    “I know. What gives?”
    You’ll just have to work harder to give us more incentive to respond ::snicker::

    “Size does matter.”
    ^.~

    Bill M: “I really don’t remember Lecter saying that line. He’s more the “fava beans and a nice chianti” quote from that movie, in terms of infamy.”
    Okay, time to clear this up. Lecter didn’t say the line, however, it was in the movie “Silence of the Lambs.” It was said by the serial killer that they were tracking to the girl in the pit that, if I remember correctly, the killer wanted to later skin and add the bits to the woman suit he was making….hmm, and now reminded how creepy this movie is…

    Ah, having actually looked it up now, I see that the serial killer’s nickname was ‘Buffalo Bill’, so I see what you were saying. So I think in essence you were both referring to the same thing–perhaps Pander meaning the movies in general and not necessarily the character of Hannibal Lecter saying it? I could be wrong though.

  120. Jessica Says:

    Bill M.: “1) They’re making alternate timeline versions of you money. The alternate timeline versions of you, I’m told, are against sending money to this timeline, something about tequila showers and wet t-shirt contests”

    Heh, good answer.

    (I hope the alternate timeline versions of me are all getting a cut.)

    Jon Pander: “I know. What gives?”

    I dunno, maybe your latest posts have failed to satisfy?

    (Or, at least in my case, it may have something to do with the fact that I’m busy moving to a new place.)

    Caity: “Hey Jessica, Nuin, I just found the last blood FAQ, so looky what I found out hehe:”

    There’s an FAQ? *scrolls down* Ah. Good to know.

    Jon Pander: “hedonistic lucky girls and one lucky deity? Yep it is.”

    I did a test once which claimed my philosophical leanings were more or less equal parts hedonism, existentialism, and utilitariansim. Not sure how the three of those combine, but they may explain why I’m in any way affiliated with this church of yours.

    “Please. My ego’s so big that it has its own gravitational pull to rival most planets.”

    And I’m sure your physicist friend from MIT will back you up on that.

    “Kung Fu/supergirl type babes are hotness personified.”

    My Kung Fu is strong, but I’m still not wearing a monokini.

    “financial Planner and Chief Exculpatator”

    I would have settled for CFO or CEO, but I’ll take Chief Exculpatator so long as I need not exculpate you from too much trouble. (Leave the thirteen-year-olds alone!)

  121. Jon Pander Says:

    Bill M.: “1) They’re making alternate timeline versions of you money. The alternate timeline versions of you, I’m told, are against sending money to this timeline, something about tequila showers and wet t-shirt contests”
    You are incorrect, o virgin sir. Like the Jet Li movie, I am ‘The One.’ It all goes to me.

    “Who I guess was the one that Hannibal Lechter also quoted.”

    Virgin Dude, you said ““Oh, I reference Silence of the Lambs, and this is what I get…” Who was in Silence of the Lambs? Now you’re saying you aren’t quoting him. It’s the lack of sex that’s getting you confused.

    Caity: “*sigh* it would be so easy to hate you right now…”
    And yet you can’t resist the smouldering passion you have for me at the same time. I know.

    “Huh, decent logic. If it were a bit later and I were a lot sleepier, I might fall for it.”
    What time is bedtime for you?

    “Heh….hehe I think that bit of amusement brought some of the things that died back to life”
    You’re welcome right back atcha.

    ““Size does matter.” ^.~”
    Yet another reason I have such a big fan following

    “Ah, having actually looked it up now, I see that the serial killer’s nickname was ‘Buffalo Bill’, so I see what you were saying. So I think in essence you were both referring to the same thing–perhaps Pander meaning the movies in general and not necessarily the character of Hannibal Lecter saying it?”
    Exactly!

    “I could be wrong though.”
    No, you are correct. As correct as the lust-filled passion that I know burns in your loins for me.

    Jessica: “I dunno, maybe your latest posts have failed to satisfy?”
    Blasphemy. I never fail to satisfy.

    “There’s an FAQ? *scrolls down* Ah. Good to know.”
    Thank Anko, I think.

    If she ever shows up again.

    “I did a test once which claimed my philosophical leanings were more or less equal parts hedonism, existentialism, and utilitariansim. Not sure how the three of those combine, but they may explain why I’m in any way affiliated with this church of yours.”
    Judging from my church, part 1 is the major part.

    “And I’m sure your physicist friend from MIT will back you up on that.”
    Indubitably.

    “My Kung Fu is strong, but I’m still not wearing a monokini.”
    Then, judging from these tropes:
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LeotardOfPower
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BreastPlate
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnderwearOfPower

    As well as the Theiss Titillation Theory
    (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheissTitillationTheory),

    Your kung fu is not strong.

    “I’ll take Chief Exculpatator so long as I need not exculpate you from too much trouble.”
    But you’re the CHIEF excupatator!

    “Leave the thirteen-year-olds alone!”
    I didn’t go near her, officer. I swear.

  122. Dylan Says:

    O.o this article is kinda creepy even though it is totally a joke lol

    http://bouncewith.me.uk/europe/8027043.htm

    I had my entire school in a state of Panic with that article lmfao. just read it at points it is somewhat convincing :P

  123. Bill M. Says:

    Jon Pander says: “You are incorrect, o virgin sir. Like the Jet Li movie, I am ‘The One.’ It all goes to me.”

    Then you forgot to check for imitators or you forgot to hit every parallel dimension… the other versions of me keep on talking about the other versions of you, and they are eerily similar to the you of this dimension.

    “Virgin Dude, you said ““Oh, I reference Silence of the Lambs, and this is what I get…” Who was in Silence of the Lambs? Now you’re saying you aren’t quoting him. It’s the lack of sex that’s getting you confused.”

    First off, the reply this was to was your own quote, while quoting yourself, Mr. Pander, is a sure way to make sure you’re quoting someone intelligent, misled you.

    Second off, there are several actors and actresses in Silence of the Lambs. By your reasoning towards that movie, all quotes from Terminator are Arnie’s, all quotes from Die Hard are Bruce Willis’, all posts on this board are yours, all awesome comics are drawn by Owen Gieni… well, while that last one may be true, your logic is more dizzying than a battle of the wits to the death with a Sicilian.

  124. Daggyr Says:

    so….have we been abandoned by the artist? I appreciate the creative process but it’s been a month since the last post. :-(

  125. sco3tt Says:

    Abandoned? Nah, they just give us some time to ourselves for reflection and self discovery, time to ponder and grow mentally and spiritually.

    Besides, the we’ve waited way longer than that for updates in the past, and it was always TOTALLY worth it.

    Besides. we have each other! :)

  126. Eltharrion Says:

    Okay, I’m what, 4 or 5 months away, and you people started writing short stories here? Impressive…

    No, not saying it’s bad. Just suprising. But hey, we all got rights to write (as long as the site doesn’t say so, and it doesn’t I think) as long texts as we want. So, carry on, and don’t let me interfere with your chatting. =9

    Also, on side note, I got two words: “BOOM headshot.”
    Sorry, got to make that joke since no one seemed to have done it yet.

    Now the story goes on again, doesn’t it? We’re not going to get stuck for half a year to hear golf puns (I hope so. They’re among the few jokes that I don’t usually get), are we?

    sco3tt: “We have each other!”
    -Backing you up with this. Only thing things like us (zombies? vampires? nerds? computer hackers? net surfers? anything?) can have is each other.

  127. Jon Pander Says:

    Daggyr: “so….have we been abandoned by the artist?”
    Actually, Bobby is a master of computer programming and has managed to make it so that everyone else is able to see the updates except you, whom he has indeed abandonned.

    When you’re finally back in his good graces, you’ll see all the updates you’ve been missing. There is a particularly startling twist involving Grady, a llama, and the food product known affectionately as ‘Easy Cheez’

    “I appreciate the creative process but it’s been a month since the last post.”
    He’s being reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllly creative.

    sco3tt: “Abandoned? Nah, they just give us some time to ourselves for reflection and self discovery, time to ponder and grow mentally and spiritually.”
    Yes, the comments we make here are chocked full of spirituality (Church of Pander with its own deity), mentally (so much said is indeed mental), and self-discovery (which is what happens when open minded hotties enter the Church of Pander’s first tequila shower orgy.

    “Besides. we have each other! ”
    Except for Jon Pander, who instead has throngs of female minion followers and harem girls.

    Eltharrion: “Okay, I’m what, 4 or 5 months away, and you people started writing short stories here? Impressive…”
    Whozit in the whatsnow?

    “No, not saying it’s bad. Just suprising. But hey, we all got rights to write (as long as the site doesn’t say so, and it doesn’t I think) as long texts as we want.”
    My texts are as short as they’ve always been.

    “Sorry, got to make that joke since no one seemed to have done it yet.”
    Everyone else was busy saying “Hole in One” instead.

    “Now the story goes on again, doesn’t it?”
    No, that’s the end.

    “We’re not going to get stuck for half a year to hear golf puns (I hope so. They’re among the few jokes that I don’t usually get), are we?”
    Systemz has a fair bit to say about golf ball physics if you’d like to hear it.

  128. SonicMax Says:

    well i read from the beginning to here in a all nighter because this was and is a cool comic but when i got here i was kinda disappointed i mean you only update one or two comics a month?…i now i kinda sound like an ass right now but what is it thats taking all your time away?

  129. Jon Pander Says:

    SonicMax: “well i read from the beginning to here in a all nighter because this was and is a cool comic but when i got here i was kinda disappointed i mean you only update one or two comics a month?”
    1) Wow, you really hate punctuation, don’t you?
    2) Technically he updates 5 or 6 different comics a certain amount of time each month. Bobby has more comics running than some people have clean underwear.

    “now i kinda sound like an ass right now”
    Comparatively speaking you’re rather subdued, actually.

    “but what is it thats taking all your time away?”
    Things which keep Bobby busy:
    1) His other comics
    2) His movie deal
    3) Beating the girls off with sticks. (the ones which aren’t in my cult…er… church… that is.)
    4) Training to fight ninjas
    5) Fighting said ninjas.

    BTW, new catch phrase for me after hearing Deadpool say it in a Youtube video.

    Annnnnnnnnnnnd…. boom goes the dynamite.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1R5PhReY5k

  130. Druss Says:

    Hi all. Been reading First Blood since nearly the beginning, but oddly enough this is my first post. The reason for breaking my monk-like silence is a question that just occured to me now as I was at the tea dock preparing my 50th cup of the working day.

    My quesiton is, given that Mr. Jon Pander has conclusivley proven that Mac, and not Bruce Wayne, is, in fact, Batman, who is Robin?

    Personally I do not believe that the anklebiters presented to us in the Batman comics and cartoons are nowhere near the awesomeness threshold needed to even be in Mac’s presence for a sustained period of time, nevermind reaching the incredible levels needed to be associated with him as his sidekick.

    Or am I just reading way too much into this………or maybe not enough!?

  131. Caity Says:

    And I’m back again, and I come bearing amusement.

    1) http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html this list is both awesome and eerily possible.
    2) I just bought a book today called “Pride And Prejudice And Zombies.” As in someone took Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” and put zombies in it. Because everything is better with zombies.

    Pander: “And yet you can’t resist the smouldering passion you have for me at the same time. I know.”
    ::wryly:: yes, and I hide it because otherwise I can’t control the pain I feel over the attention you give your harem.

    “What time is bedtime for you?”
    You just want to use this information against me…meh, I’ll tell you anyway. If I take melatonin, it’s 12am or 1. If I don’t, it’s anywhere from 3-5am. I’m a night owl with a touch of insomnia heh.

    “No, you are correct. As correct as the lust-filled passion that I know burns in your loins for me.”
    However, alas and alack, it is not meant to be.

    “I didn’t go near her, officer. I swear.”
    However, when she is of age, you will attempt to entice her into your harem.

  132. Piper Says:

    SonicMax, I prefer coming here every 6 months or so. That way I can read 3 or 4 new pages. Sad, but true. Although I must say that I do love how it says right up top that there’s a new page every Saturday. Must be an inside joke or something. ;)

    Another good Crosby brother comic is Crowscare, but sadly it looks like he might be started to do the same kind of update schedule as well.

    Pretty awesome comics, which makes it more of a shame that they don’t update regularly.

  133. CavemanCavan Says:

    Although I see that the face has now been fixed, I simply cant be bothered to go through the comments to see if anyone noticed that in the previous comic, the zombie has grown an arm.

    Another mistake that would need to be fixed, although a small one easily done.

    I am normally not one for pointing out flaws, and moreso hate to have this be the first post I make to do so, but it would seem that is all that people had to say about the comic. But youll note the second to last panel of the previous comic he does in fact have 2 arms. The one before, he does not.

  134. Jim McCarthy Says:

    Does this fucking comic EVER update?

  135. Bobby Crosby Says:

    Caveman: Ha, never noticed that. At least it’s an extremely simple fix.

    Jim: It updates every Saturday in Hell, so kill yourself and go read it.

  136. novel lector Says:

    WHEN??????

    please the next page please……

  137. Daggyr Says:

    Well friends….I have truly enjoyed this strip but, like many, I am disappointed that there’s been no update in over a month. Yes, I understand that the artist is a busy man and yes I understand that the strip is free so there’s no obligation to deliver on time….still I was really enjoying it.

    I think I will take Piper’s advice and come back in 6 months to see what has happened.

  138. Bobby Crosby Says:

    Come back never.

  139. Nuin Says:

    Caity: “And I’m back again, and I come bearing amusement.
    1) http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html this list is both awesome and eerily possible.”

    I love you . Can I be you minion instead of panders …….pwease :)

    Pander: “Except for Jon Pander, who instead has throngs of female minion followers and harem girls.”

    I think I like harem girl better than minion. It sounds prettier.

    But I’ve already won caity over by agreeing with her in a earlier post . I could trying fawning over pander but I’m out of tequila, I do however have a nice single malt scotch I got for my 21st birthday.

  140. Jon Pander Says:

    Druss: “My quesiton is, given that Mr. Jon Pander has conclusivley proven that Mac, and not Bruce Wayne, is, in fact, Batman, who is Robin?”
    Robin’s dead. Mac now only has Grady, aka Alfred.

    “Personally I do not believe that the anklebiters presented to us in the Batman comics and cartoons are nowhere near the awesomeness threshold needed to even be in Mac’s presence for a sustained period of time, nevermind reaching the incredible levels needed to be associated with him as his sidekick.”
    Robin did not die from the zombies. He exploded when Mac glared at him for saying one ‘Holy ‘ too many.

    “Or am I just reading way too much into this………or maybe not enough!?”
    The answer to your question is ‘Yes.’

    Caity: “http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html this list is both awesome and eerily possible.”
    I am indeed in awe of this article, and will immediately begin storing up food supplies and weapons (and tequila, hot water, wet T-shirts and hoses, for the inevitable apocalypse and the daily Pander compound tequila orgy and wet T-shirt contest.

    “Because everything is better with zombies.”
    Zombie Jesus!
    http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/29c/321/29c32125-059b-4e7b-afb3-11364fb65026

    I do hear they’re thinking of renaming Christmas Zombie Jesus Day. Because everything IS better with zombies.
    http://www.biblen.info/Galleri/Full/zombie-jesus-jared-hindman.jpg

    Or perhaps I’m wrong. Maybe… Jesus hates zombies?
    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KtMiAnbcCoQ/ReEtj2UDs2I/AAAAAAAAADY/wV0K4nV4dEc/s400/JesusHatesZombies.jpg
    http://media.photobucket.com/image/jesus%20hates%20zombies/Steev_2006/JHZTitlePgsm.jpg

    He also apparently hates T-Rexes, though that has no place in this discussion.
    http://www.andysartwork.com/gallery/JesusHatesDinosaurs.jpg

    “::wryly:: yes, and I hide it because otherwise I can’t control the pain I feel over the attention you give your harem.”
    I’ll pencil in a day for you and I to have some alone time. Drink plenty of electrolytes.

    “You just want to use this information against me…meh, I’ll tell you anyway.”
    Yep, no point in resisting.

    “However, alas and alack, it is not meant to be.”
    Never say never.

    “However, when she is of age, you will attempt to entice her into your harem.”
    Obviously. Though she needs to be hot, remember. It’s still a requirement.

    Jim McCarthy: “Does this fucking comic EVER update?”
    1) The last time this comic had sex in it was when Murdo did the horizontal mambo with Val.
    2) You really want to be banned or chewed out, doncha.
    3) It’s constantly updated, but Bobby changes it back to an old comic when his spy network says you’re about to log on.

    Bobby: “Jim: It updates every Saturday in Hell, so kill yourself and go read it.”
    Hrm, better comeback than the one I made.
    Bobby, how’s the ninja-training going btw?

    novel lector: “WHEN??????”
    Tuesday. Now… What are you referring to?

    Daggyr: “Well friends….”
    Hello chum.

    “I have truly enjoyed this strip”
    Good start.

    “I think I will take Piper’s advice and come back in 6 months to see what has happened.”
    Good bye.

    Nuin: “I love you . Can I be you minion instead of panders …….pwease”
    Caity is a subsidiary of the church of pander. She takes the male converts, so I don’t have to share the hottie babes. So if you’re a guy, you can be her minion. If you’re a hot girl, please put on this t-shirt while I get the hose.

    “I think I like harem girl better than minion. It sounds prettier.”
    Ok, after the wet T-shirt contest then, we’ll have the usual interview in the shower orgy to see if you qualify as a harem girl.

    “But I’ve already won caity over by agreeing with her in a earlier post .”
    Caity and I are not in competition. She’s a subsidiary.

    “I could trying fawning over pander but I’m out of tequila,”
    I don’t need tequila. J need more hot babes. I already have a tequila shower orgy.

    “I do however have a nice single malt scotch I got for my 21st birthday.”
    Bring that for the shower orgy interview.

  141. WYSIWYG Says:

    This comic is too good to let gather this much dust. I drink Laphroaig when I don’t find updates. Die liver! Die!

  142. Jessica Says:

    Jon: stop calling Caity a subsidiary. Her church is a subsidiary branch of the Church of Pander. Caity is a High Priestess. I doubt she enjoys being called a subsidiary. And you did give her access to a whole bunch of guns.

    …And are you really wasting single malt in a shower?

    (And I’ve finally got internet in my new apartment! Now I just have to catch up…)

    Caity: That article was good fun, but the four comments I read (before I remembered I can never get those seconds of my life back) made me sad. Gosh some people are stupid. I enjoy Mad Cow as the rage virus. Someone should tell Denny Crane. I’m bookmarking this for future folklore/urban myth research. Have I just been oblivious until a year or two ago, or are zombies gaining momentum in pop culture? (That’s a serious question, for any long-term fans of the genre. It’s a fairly new interest for me, so I don’t know if I’m just noticing more, or if there’s more to notice.)

  143. Abstract Says:

    If Mac were to be vampirified, he would undoubtedly become an unstoppable god of awesome destruction. He can already bend the laws of probability with his badassery. Were he to become immortal the possibilities are endlessly awesome. Also note that if humanity survives and Mac procreates, in a few centuries the ninety percent of the human population of earth will be descended partly from him. They could take on an alien invasion with wiffelball bats and their combined awesomeness.

  144. Jon Pander Says:

    Jessica: “stop calling Caity a subsidiary.”
    No.

    “Her church is a subsidiary branch of the Church of Pander.”
    This is true.

    “Caity is a High Priestess.”
    Also true.

    “I doubt she enjoys being called a subsidiary.”
    I’ll buy her a howitzer for her birthday and I will doubt she’ll care about the names.

    “And you did give her access to a whole bunch of guns.”
    Again true. But I think Caity is a bit more secure with herself to be concerned with semantics. Guns = secure.

    “…And are you really wasting single malt in a shower?”
    Frankly I am not that concerned with alcohol. I’m hooked on someting far more fun… namely sex with incredibly hot girls. The alcohol just is a draw-in to bring more into the fold.

    “(And I’ve finally got internet in my new apartment! Now I just have to catch up…)”
    Yeah, make mah money. Earn your percentage, baby! :)

    Caity: “Gosh some people are stupid.”
    Without stupid people, the rest of us would have no one to laugh and point at.

    “Have I just been oblivious until a year or two ago, or are zombies gaining momentum in pop culture?”
    A rise in zombie mentality would explain the presidential election.

    Abstract: “If Mac were to be vampirified,”
    He can’t be. A vampire once tried to bite Mac. After his fangs broke, he spent 5 days having a long, agonizing final death just from Mac’s skin flakes.

    “he would undoubtedly become an unstoppable god of awesome destruction.”
    Wait… become? Did I miss someting Unstoppable god of awesome destruction as opposed to….?

    “Were he to become immortal the possibilities are endlessly awesome.”
    Actually, Mac died 15 years ago. The Grim Reaper is just way to scared to tell him.

    “Also note that if humanity survives and Mac procreates, in a few centuries the ninety percent of the human population of earth will be descended partly from him.”
    And since one Mac can cause every woman around him to spontaneously have a child with his super-sperm, I predict the repopulation of the earth in a week or two, tops.

    “They could take on an alien invasion with wiffelball bats and their combined awesomeness.”
    This is the most true thing I’ve heard you say. I commend your insight. It’s enough to make me forgive you for implying that Mac was not ALREADY an unstoppable god of awesome destruction.

  145. Nuin Says:

    “Ok, after the wet T-shirt contest then, we’ll have the usual interview in the shower orgy to see if you qualify as a harem girl.”
    How come every interview I go on there’s a wet T-shirt contest?

    “If you’re a hot girl, please put on this t-shirt while I get the hose.”
    *shrugs and puts on the shirt* at least it makes some sense here. I’m still having trouble seeing what a wet t-shirt contest has to do with being a bank teller. But the guy said it was a standard part of the interview.

  146. Caity Says:

    Nuin: “I love you . Can I be you minion instead of panders …….pwease ”
    Aww, I feel so wanted.

    Pander: “I do hear they’re thinking of renaming Christmas Zombie Jesus Day. Because everything IS better with zombies.”
    While the latter statement is true–I read it on the internet (TM), granted I was the one that said it–it doesn’t really make sense for it to be renamed Zombie Jesus day, because Christmas is celebrating his birth, so he wouldn’t be a technical zombie yet. Also, sword wielding Jesus killing zombies is full of win.

    “I’ll pencil in a day for you and I to have some alone time. Drink plenty of electrolytes.”
    ::chuckle, pseudo-despondency:: I don’t know, I think it would just be that much more of an inconsolable pain after the attention. I would have to sequester myself with my harem for a while and I wouldn’t want to over work them…or would I?

    “Yep, no point in resisting.”
    But if I didn’t resist sometimes there would be no more amusing banter…

    “Obviously. Though she needs to be hot, remember. It’s still a requirement.”
    Well, judging by the fact that she gained your attention enough that an ‘officer’ took notice, I would say she already would have a high possible hotness factor. Presumably, she would merely develop the possibility into fact, thereby making her a candidate.

    “Nuin: “I love you . Can I be you minion instead of panders …….pwease”
    Caity is a subsidiary of the church of pander. She takes the male converts, so I don’t have to share the hottie babes. So if you’re a guy, you can be her minion. If you’re a hot girl, please put on this t-shirt while I get the hose.”
    But she loves *me*! And besides, I would welcome Nuin’s assistance. I mean if you can have a male bodyguard, I can have a female associate of some function. Granted I haven’t figured out what yet, but she is welcome within the Caity branch.

    Jessica/Pander: ““I doubt she enjoys being called a subsidiary.”
    I’ll buy her a howitzer for her birthday and I will doubt she’ll care about the names.”
    She has a point…although a howitzer……….*sigh* okay, but that better not be an empty promise. If one is lacking on November 23rd, I’ll be sorely put out ::smirk::

    Jessica: “And I’ve finally got internet in my new apartment! Now I just have to catch up…)”
    Yay! I missed you!

    “Have I just been oblivious until a year or two ago, or are zombies gaining momentum in pop culture?”
    Hmm, I don’t know if there’s a gain in momentum or just a quiet continuance. Although the fact that a movie like “Fido” came into being speaks volumes about the extent of influence zombies have gained, I think. That movie is…so hilariously, amazingly awesome.

    Pander: “Again true. But I think Caity is a bit more secure with herself to be concerned with semantics. Guns = secure.”
    This is true.

    “Caity: “Gosh some people are stupid.”
    Without stupid people, the rest of us would have no one to laugh and point at.”
    I…don’t think I actually said this. Granted I have definitely thought it at work when coming across clothes that someone saw fit to put back on the hanger inside-out.

    “Actually, Mac died 15 years ago. The Grim Reaper is just way to scared to tell him.”
    haha! ::grin::

    ““They could take on an alien invasion with wiffelball bats and their combined awesomeness.”
    This is the most true thing I’ve heard you say. I commend your insight.”
    It’s true, since I can’t see Mac’s awesomeness being anything but a dominant gene. I’m sure it would even overcome any recessive genes that came in down the line, defying Gregor Mendel’s genetic theories. There would be no child in his line with purely recessive genes because Mac’s dominant ‘awesomeness’ gene would just overpower the recessive ‘not awesome’ gene hands down. Wow, that was dorky…but necessary I think.

    Nuin: “How come every interview I go on there’s a wet T-shirt contest?”
    You know, this reminds me that I haven’t come up with an interview process…I could use the same in keeping the church’s standard, and I suppose it could work both ways. Although, I don’t think it’s necessary in my branch for female petitioners, if I were to gain any for assisting purposes.

  147. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: “Aww, I feel so wanted.”
    With your penchant for guns, one day you might -be- wanted.
    Don’t worry, the Church of Pander can always be a sanctuary for hotties.

    “it doesn’t really make sense for it to be renamed Zombie Jesus day, because Christmas is celebrating his birth,”
    So are you saying Easter should be Zombie Jesus Day?

    “Also, sword wielding Jesus killing zombies is full of win.”
    As a jew, I can say with authority that if the Christian Church empasized katana-usage more, they’d have even more converts.

    “I don’t know, I think it would just be that much more of an inconsolable pain after the attention.”
    But I would have gotten some from you, so I’d be happy

    “I would have to sequester myself with my harem for a while and I wouldn’t want to over work them…or would I?”
    Work them over. That’s what harems are there for.

    “Well, judging by the fact that she gained your attention enough that an ‘officer’ took notice, I would say she already would have a high possible hotness factor.”
    The wet T-shirt contest is still a requirement though.

    “But she loves *me*!”
    Fine, if you want you can be involved in the private interview process after the wet t-shirt contest. I’m fine with the threesome.

    “I mean if you can have a male bodyguard, I can have a female associate of some function”
    Personally, I’d rather havea hot female kung fu/superstrong babe who serves my every whim and command as my bodyguard, if I had the choice.

    “She has a point…although a howitzer……….*sigh* okay, but that better not be an empty promise.”
    Whenever I load anything, it never shoots blanks.

    “If one is lacking on November 23rd, I’ll be sorely put out”
    I approve of when girls put out.

    “You know, this reminds me that I haven’t come up with an interview process…”
    Might I suggest filming a porno as the interview process?

    “I don’t think it’s necessary in my branch for female petitioners, if I were to gain any for assisting purposes.”
    In the unlikely event that I don’t steal away female petitioners, porno still works for females.

  148. Mr Wolf Says:

    Just gonna break in to this conversation for a minute.
    “So are you saying Easter should be Zombie Jesus Day?”
    Easter has been Zombie Jesus Day for a very long time.

    On an unrelated note, I have this vague memory of a promise to update more often this year. What has come of this?

  149. Jon Pander Says:

    Mr Wolf: “Easter has been Zombie Jesus Day for a very long time.”
    Say that the next time you go to church. Pleeease.

    “On an unrelated note, I have this vague memory of a promise to update more often this year. What has come of this?”
    Your memories are actually false, implanted by a major intelligence agency as part of a nefarious plot. Now that I have told you this, they will be coming to get you.

    Run! (and wrap a wet towel around your head)

  150. Phymmefemity Says:

    Hi, nice posts there :-) through’s recompense the gripping advice

  151. Mr Wolf Says:

    “Now that I have told you this, they will be coming to get you.”
    GREAT. THANKS. AWESOME. Now I have a major intelligence agency after me. Worst day of my life.

  152. Jon Pander Says:

    Mr Wolf: “GREAT. THANKS. AWESOME. Now I have a major intelligence agency after me. Worst day of my life.”
    Don’t be such a downer. It worked out fine for Arnold in Total Recall.

  153. Cooki Says:

    Um, I just want to ask…
    Is that supposed to be the same zombie from 2 pages back? I noticed that that one seems to be more… decomposed than the one in this post.

  154. Cooki Says:

    Well, it also looks like his skin’s a shirt, so I guess we could say it was artistic liscence…
    But really?

  155. Cooki Says:

    Zombie Jesus Day is famous.
    Pander, look something called “Holy Bibble” up.
    Very good and written by ‘guys’ with the same mindset as you.

  156. Jon Pander Says:

    Cooki: “Is that supposed to be the same zombie from 2 pages back? I noticed that that one seems to be more… decomposed than the one in this post.”
    He’s been working out.

    “Zombie Jesus Day is famous.”
    Of course it is. I came up with the name.

    “Pander, look something called “Holy Bibble” up.”
    Soon as I’m done reading the Torrah.

    (if no one gets this joke, I will elaborate.)

    “Very good and written by ‘guys’ with the same mindset as you.”
    A book on a life of being hedonistic and obsessed with shower orgies? I sense copyright infringement.

  157. Glafna Says:

    Honestly, I love the comic, but it takes forever for you guys to update.

  158. Senchar Says:

    I love this comic too, and it’s sad that it’s not updated very often, but all of you who are complaining about it, come on… Obviously they’re busy, and believe or not, talent actually takes a lot of time to process. Also, a freaking MOVIE deal! Come on! If you’re really thirsty for some of his other comics, you should read Dreamless. It’s really good too! Granted, so far there aren’t any zombies, but I love it just as much.

    I’m just happy that they update at all, considering they don’t exactly get paid for this! :D

  159. Jon Pander Says:

    Glafna: “Honestly, I love the comic, but it takes forever for you guys to update.”
    Learning to properly fight ninjas takes time.

    Senchar: “Obviously they’re busy, and believe or not, talent actually takes a lot of time to process.”
    Technically, Bobby already admitted that it’s just because he’s being lazy.

    But I’m pretty sure the ninja training is factor.

    “I’m just happy that they update at all, considering they don’t exactly get paid for this!”
    …Waitasecond… where are my checks going to then?

  160. Dauphinmort Says:

    I’ve been a reader for a while, and even when there isn’t an update, it’s always pretty amusing to read through the comments, Jon Pander always makes it worthwhile. Speaking of which, kudos to the Torah joke, haha.

  161. az Says:

    I love this comic but the incredibly lengthy posts are killer to sift/scroll through.

  162. Caity Says:

    I have to wonder why people complain about the length of the posts when they are pretty much the entertainment until the next update. I wouldn’t be surprised if Pander were, in fact, hired to keep people coming back every other day or so.

    Pander: “With your penchant for guns, one day you might -be- wanted.
    Don’t worry, the Church of Pander can always be a sanctuary for hotties.”
    The former is true, the latter is good to know.

    “So are you saying Easter should be Zombie Jesus Day?”
    Technically, yes. Although you wouldn’t find me saying that the next time I go to church as you have requested of Mr. Wolf, sorry. Maybe he will accommodate you in that respect. He hasn’t refused yet, after all.

    “As a jew, I can say with authority that if the Christian Church empasized katana-usage more, they’d have even more converts.”
    ::snickers:: This is also probably true. It would appeal to a younger audience at least.

    “But I would have gotten some from you, so I’d be happy”
    Oh, I’m sure you *would* be ^.~

    “Fine, if you want you can be involved in the private interview process after the wet t-shirt contest. I’m fine with the threesome.”
    Haha, of course you are, as well as ‘moresomes’ as I think was stated in a previous post. It’s just a matter of if you can convince us ^.~

    “Whenever I load anything, it never shoots blanks.”
    Pffhaha! Oh man, double entendres almost never get old.

    “Might I suggest filming a porno as the interview process?”
    Hmm, well it might put some at a disadvantage, since some people might get…camera shy. Kind of like people who can learn material but then do poorly on tests. Although, I’ve never been among those test shy people, but I can sympathize.

    Also, Pander, you probably *would* like Holy Bibble. I read it for years, then wandered off when it went on hiatus and recently came back now that it’s semi-animated. But yeah, the humor is right up your alley.

  163. Jon Pander Says:

    Dauphinmort: ” Jon Pander always makes it worthwhile.”
    That’s what she said.

    az: “I love this comic”
    Who doesn’t?

    “the incredibly lengthy posts”
    That’s what she said too!

    Caity: “I wouldn’t be surprised if Pander were, in fact, hired to keep people coming back every other day or so.”
    Bobby, I think they’re on to me.

    “The former is true, the latter is good to know.”
    You’ll be safe from the authorities in the shower orgy.

    “::snickers:: This is also probably true. It would appeal to a younger audience at least.”
    And you can play hard rock music as you draw the katana also. Instead of those ‘hymns’

    “Oh, I’m sure you *would* be ^.~”
    Let’s test that theory, shall we?

    “Haha, of course you are, as well as ‘moresomes’ as I think was stated in a previous post.”
    As long as it’s the right type of moresome – one guy (me) any number of hot girls. Not the type that has more than one guy because that’s just wrong.

    “It’s just a matter of if you can convince us ^.~”
    I can be very convincing.

    “Oh man, double entendres almost never get old.”
    Double your pleasure, double your fun.

    “Hmm, well it might put some at a disadvantage, since some people might get…camera shy.”
    Don’t worry, the camera can be hidden.

    “Kind of like people who can learn material but then do poorly on tests.”
    In the shower orgy test, you get points just for showing up. Additional points for every article of clothing removed.

    “Also, Pander, you probably *would* like Holy Bibble.”
    Ammen.

    “I read it for years, then wandered off when it went on hiatus and recently came back now that it’s semi-animated.”
    My favorite part is Gennessis.

    Please tell me you’re getting the jokke?

    “But yeah, the humor is right up your alley.”
    Turning people into salt, making a tasty apple tree then saying ‘don’t eat that thing!’, saying ‘I’ll give you a woman but you gotta give me a rib’.

    To quote Stewie Griffin, “I love God. He’s so deliciously evil.”

    He’s very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.

  164. Jareth Says:

    hell jeah this really is freakin cool stuff^^ can i say more? xD
    i just read the whole comic today and it really is great. i dont understand everything because english is not my mother language but i think the author really has some kind of so called black humor :D
    i really love this comic. its in my favorite list.
    just like:
    goblinscomic, dibcomics and vinland saga^^

  165. me Says:

    please post up a new page

  166. Atan Says:

    only one thing to say: BOOM HEADSHOT!!

    btw, how come the colors are so, i don’t know colorful?? i think I liked the more greyscale like ones better, not that this is bad, but this is going from a more art like comic to a ‘commercial’ comic, I’ll see how it goes on, it doesn’t really bother me but i just noticed it :)

  167. Jon Pander Says:

    Jareth: “hell jeah this really is freakin cool stuff^^ can i say more? xD”
    No, you may not.

    “i just read the whole comic today and it really is great.”
    Hey I said you couldn’t say more.
    What a rebel.

    “i dont understand everything because english is not my mother language”
    You know, I always wondered about going up to strange, hot women, and speaking in a heavy accent and saying some lewd suggestion, smiling and extending my hand. That way even if they say no, they think I just did not understand the language.

    “but i think the author really has some kind of so called black humor”
    Bobby’s humor is more black than Showtime at the Apollo.

    “goblinscomic, dibcomics and vinland saga^^”
    Oh… Tarol Hunt and the gang there at Goblins love hearing from me as well.

    Atan: “only one thing to say: BOOM HEADSHOT!!”
    Been there, done that.

    “btw, how come the colors are so, i don’t know colorful??”
    Three letters.
    L.S.D.

    “i think I liked the more greyscale like ones better, not that this is bad, but this is going from a more art like comic to a ‘commercial’ comic,”
    If you were Dorothy, you’d never have wanted to go to Oz in the first place.

  168. Sarah Says:

    I actually love this!
    The art is always so good and the vampires have a definite vampire-y feel and look about them
    alot of graphic novels involving vampires just have normal people with fangs stuck on, typically really hot people
    but this is so much more realistic!
    If that makes any sense in context with zombies and vampires and zombie vampires >_>
    Good job!

  169. Mike Avery Says:

    Hey, new reader, new poster. First of all- Jesus Christ, you got three or four midsize novel’s worth of comedic material just in the fucking posts! Man, how long do you guys spend constructing these witty repartees? Also, I read someone asking about an influx of interest in the zombie genre- I can’t say whether or not there’s been an increase, but I’m likewise shocked by the popularity of it- zombie walks, zombie survival guides, website after website….my ex-girlfriend/best friend/drug buddy introduced me to it, took me to a zombie walk in Vancouver, and I’ve been hooked since then. That’s how I discovered this comic, which is definitely top of the barrel….schaemiac. That’s genius, to take two of the oldest and most whipped traditions of horror and combine them in a way that doesn’t seem hackneyed….that takes some doing. Also, tequila shower orgies suck. Hash, rum and hot tubs, dudes. Do this shit right.

  170. Jon Pander Says:

    Sarah: “The art is always so good and the vampires have a definite vampire-y feel and look about them”
    One sec, must look up ‘vampire-y’ in the Oxford dictionary, despite my agreement with you so far.

    “alot of graphic novels involving vampires just have normal people with fangs stuck on,”
    You do realize they’re comic book characters, not real. Right?

    Except Mac. He’s so awesome that the distinction between real and drawn no longer matters.

    “typically really hot people”
    Nothing wrong with that, unless they also have glitter on them.

    “but this is so much more realistic!”
    Funny thing – this comic is actually based on real events. Remember, from a few years ago?

    Mike Avery: “First of all- Jesus Christ,”
    Wrong deity.

    “you got three or four midsize novel’s worth of comedic material just in the fucking posts!”
    Wokka wokka wokka.

    “Man, how long do you guys spend constructing these witty repartees?”
    Not nearly as long as you’d expect.

    “That’s how I discovered this comic, which is definitely top of the barrel….”
    This is definitely the best post-apocalyptic comic about zombies versus vampires which has ever been written in the annals of mankind

    Heheh…. I said annals.

    “Also, tequila shower orgies suck.”
    Ok man, I was gonna give you a high five until you said that. Now I’m gonna haveta call you out so you can meet my two friends – thunder *holds up left fist* and lightning *holds up right fist*

    “Hash, rum and hot tubs,”
    I’ve had a moment to reflect….. and I think the Church of Pander is open minded enough to have both shower orgies AND hash/rum/hot tub orgies. I’ll let you know how it will turn out – probably will write another Penthouse Letter (Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me, but…)

  171. Lovin' It Says:

    Ya know what? Mac’s pose kinda looks like the cliche silhouette (I have no idea if that spelling is right, sorry. And yes, I am too busy to look it up) of a Samurai holding up his sword…which of course only adds to Mac’s sheer awesomeness…
    Hehe…Can’t wait for more!

  172. Mike Avery Says:

    Pander buddy, I never met a deity I couldn’t take. I also never encountered a church that advocated pornstar-style drunken shagging. Do I have to pay for membership, or what?
    Also: I’ve never been a big fan of vampire fiction- Bram Stoker took the original mythology and twisted it severly. I grew up on the original stories, of Verdilak and wamphyr (my great aunt was from the ‘old country,’ I never ascertained which, and she was fucking insane), and the modern vampire cliche never seems to be quite as compelling.
    Zombie fiction, on the other hand, fascinates me, because, like some indie films, and most modern pornography, it makes a virtue out of cheeziness. Kitsch, I believe it’s called.
    That said, after seeing reams and reams of tacky, tacky zombie flicks and comics and shit, something like this- that keeps the humor but somehow reinvents zombies as a compelling tool of the fiction- is a breath of fresh air. So yeah, top of the barrel.

  173. Nuin Says:

    Dear Mr. Avery,

    If you’ve read the post then you know other men are not allowed in the Church of Pander. He is not big on the sharing of his hotties. And why should he, being a deity and all.

    However you seem reasonably intelligent and i will go ahead and assume attractive. Though nowhere near the god like sex appeal of pander. But as such you may look into the subsidiary church under the ever capable leadership of caity. It really is a good deal. Just a small fee (you should really talk to jessica here) and go ahead and prepare for the occasional tributes of weaponry in her honor. I mean really you couldn’t ask for a better high priestess to be a minion for.

  174. Caity Says:

    Pander: “Bobby, I think they’re on to me.”
    See, along with the keen gun sense, I can also have my spy-like moments.

    “You’ll be safe from the authorities in the shower orgy.”
    Is this under the logic of ‘they’ll never look there’ or ‘they’ll be too busy looking there’?

    “And you can play hard rock music as you draw the katana also. Instead of those ‘hymns’”
    Hard rock is all well and good, but as a music minor, I will admit I can appreciate some hymns.

    “Let’s test that theory, shall we?”
    Now what was my motivation for this again?

    “As long as it’s the right type of moresome – one guy (me) any number of hot girls. Not the type that has more than one guy because that’s just wrong.”
    ::snicker::: good to know you’re so…open-minded…no wait, I don’t think that’s the word I’m looking for…probably more something to do with having the self in mind…

    “I can be very convincing.”
    This is true, I mean I did end up as a High Priestess after all.

    “In the shower orgy test, you get points just for showing up. Additional points for every article of clothing removed.”
    Not to mention points for creativity, I’m sure.

    “My favorite part is Gennessis.

    Please tell me you’re getting the jokke?”
    Ugh, yes I am, but I wish I weren’t.

    “He’s very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.”
    I have a feeling you would enjoy omnipresence more…

    “Oh… Tarol Hunt and the gang there at Goblins love hearing from me as well.”
    Oh, you mean Bobby’s not the only artist that…….benefits….from your unique brand of encouragement?

    Mike Avery: “Man, how long do you guys spend constructing these witty repartees?”
    In my case, more time is spent scrolling up and down lately to copy paste…

    ” took me to a zombie walk in Vancouver, and I’ve been hooked since then.”
    I just saw an event post for one of these in my area and had to pause and then be very sad because I couldn’t go. Seriously, why did I not know about these sooner?

    “I grew up on the original stories, of Verdilak and wamphyr (my great aunt was from the ‘old country,’ I never ascertained which, and she was fucking insane), ”
    ::perks up:: story time? hehe, sorry, I love the old myths…I just wish my family had the type of members that told them…I have to satisfy myself with whatever mythology books/folklore/legend books I can find.

    “Zombie fiction, on the other hand, fascinates me, because, like some indie films, and most modern pornography, it makes a virtue out of cheeziness.”
    The frightening thing is when the ideas of the first and the last combine…there is a movie that exists called Zombie Strippers…I don’t think it’s really considered porn…but it’s bad enough anyway…hilarious in some places…but…eugh

    Nuin: “But as such you may look into the subsidiary church under the ever capable leadership of caity. ”
    ::starry eyed::: she’s recruiting for me *glee*

    “and go ahead and prepare for the occasional tributes of weaponry in her honor”
    ……I love this girl, I really do.

    “I mean really you couldn’t ask for a better high priestess to be a minion for.”
    okay, it’s official, Nuin is definitely one of my favorites. You are welcome in my subsidiary any day and have harem privileges

  175. HornetAC Says:

    Thank you for comics from Russia =)

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