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Comic

Page 14: Fore!

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

Love this page.  Flat colors by Kaezrer.

I’m in San Francisco now for WonderCon, so come say hello at Booth #514 this weekend if you’re in the area!

173 Responses to “Page 14: Fore!”

  1. Jon Pander Says:

    Systemz: “Ok maybe i didnt make myself clear with this point you no life son of a bitch.”
    The cleverness of your retorts astound me.

    “oviously you don’t have anything better to do with your life then flame people.”
    See above quote by you.

    “ok here are some FACTS: . . . actually 1st i’m going to give you the definition of a fact: “a concept whose truth can be proved; scientific hypotheses are not facts” and infinity can not be proven therefore it is NOT a FACT. do you know why? BECAUSE IT CAN NOT BE PROVEN.”
    I think this might be the single most confusing sentence ever posted on this or any forum.

    Why, pray tell, are you trying to use facts to judge the velocity at which Mac, who is composed of sheer awesome, would need in order to destroy a zombie head with a driver vs an iron?

    “a fact on the speed of a golf ball would be “Phil Mickelson hits his golf ball at a recorded speed of 78mph with an Iron””
    Phil who?

    “do you know why that is a fact?”
    No. Please tell me. I’m truly interested to know….. hehe.

    “because it was recorded in real life and not in the little fantacy world you live in.”
    Technically it’s a fantasy that Mac and the other survivors live in.
    Yknow… since it’s a COMIC.

    Btw… so just to get this straight, I’m a looser (your spelling, not mine) and a gay fat dude who lives in his parents’ basement because I realize Mac is composed of awesome and can hit a golf ball through a zombie’s head in a webcomic about zombies and vampires.

    But you’re not a loser, because you have taken the time to look up obscure golfing facts and apply them to this fictional setting.

    Zombie.

    Vampires.

    Apocalyptic end of the world.

    Mac killing 1000 zombies in one battle.

    And you’re…. using supposedly real life golf history (I don’t know if you’re correct or just full of it, but I guess I have enough of a life that I’m not going to bother to look it up as you may have done) to judge this…

    Okay. So….. yeah.

    “and just for the record the point i was trying to make earlier is that all you do is flame because you most likly don’t have any real friends in life.”
    Oh god, he’s hit me with another one! “You have no friends! HA!”

    “And i was not the one who braught that up that was you up higher in the forms.”
    Again with the ‘forms’ – please what are these forms you speak of?

    “All i was saying is that you where wrong with the speeds then you go and start flaming me.”
    Mac can hit a golf ball at the speed of infinite force. Prove I’m wrong.

    I …. dare… you.

    “All i’m saying dude is that you need to calm the fuck down”
    Yes, truly I am the one among us who is swearing all over the pla- oh wait, no I’m not 🙂

    “cause ALL of your comments involve you flaming someone,”
    Such as…..

    “and here is another fact:”
    Goody, another fact!

    “talking shit over the internet doesn’t make you tough.”
    …. no, too obvious to comment on this to the guy cursing up a storm and ‘talking tough’… over the internet.

    “All it really does is make you look like a fagget”
    Combination of calling me gay -and- spelling it wrong.
    Your intellect is dizzying.

    “who hides in some basement”
    Please if you must insult, come up with newer, fresher, more stylish ones. You’ve now used two of the same already lame insults twice in a row.

    “and goes through internet forms all day.”
    Again with the forms…..

    “it is actually kinda funny that you would sink that low socially.”
    Please tell me the color of the sky in your world.
    I have no idea of half the things you’re attempting to reference, though I have to admit that we’re all having a major laugh fest at how crazed you’re getting over Mac’s awesomeness to golf ball velocity ratio.

    Systemz: “And btw double posting is evn funnier if your gona do hat to prove a point atleast space the times out by over a minute”
    1) You just posted twice within a minute as well.
    2) What the heck are you talking about?
    3) No seriously, the color of the sky in your world. I need to know.

    “Actually that was my bad he obiously a differnt person”
    Oh god his spelling is getting even worse.
    Yes. Dan Mayer is adifferent person than Jon Pander.
    The main thing the same about us is that we both think you’re totally insane. 🙂

  2. Jon Pander Says:

    Systemz: “infinity can not be proven therefore it is NOT a FACT. do you know why? BECAUSE IT CAN NOT BE PROVEN.”

    This particular gem of Systemz deserves special recognition.

    1) Infinity cannot be proven and is therefore not a fact because it can not be proven. Circular logic anyone?
    2) Infinity is a fact. therefore it can be proven, because it is a fact. Ha, two can play at your game!
    3) How many digits are there in pi? Wait… let me guess… pi is not a fact either, right?
    4) Mathematicians would be astounded that you’ve attempted to disprove ‘infinity’… there goes a whole branch of calculus. So lets see, you hate gay people, australians, and mathematicians.
    5) Would you be more comfortable if I used Graham’s Number?
    …. too bad, I’m still going to use infinity 🙂
    6) Regardless of whether infinity is a fact or not, Mac can hit at the speed of infinity, because he’s made of pure awesome. Not sure why this is so hard for you to fathom. Please go into a foaming rabid diatribe about how people can not be made out of awesome now, and how awesome is not a noun, and while you’re at it, please go into a semantic discussion of the origin of the word ‘awesome’ so that you can prove that -I’m- the one among us who has no life 🙂

  3. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Frankly I think you handled the whole massage situation very graciously, Caity. Far more graciously than I would have.”
    Thank you, I try not to stoop down to his level too often hehe. As for the contracts, no hurry. With this latest batch of comments, Pander seems to be trying to dig himself into a hole before the deal is sealed…maybe I can use this for more benefits…hmmm….

    kay, now the responses for the day for Pander…

    Pander: “Yep she’s like… totally into me, folks.”
    ::as an aside to ‘folks’:: actually, I’m just making him *think* I’m ‘totally’ into him so he’ll keep giving me pretty weaponry like the gun in Tremors 2 from earlier.

    “The ladies dig the bad boys, folks.”
    Rowr ™ ::snicker::

    “Comments which I can make about the term ‘wide open’ are too numerous and would probably turn the forum into a 4chan clone, so I will not do so.”
    hey, you were the one that used the phrase ‘wide open,’ I was merely quoting you, so you would be the one who brought that one on…to begin with anyway…and buhuhuh 4chan…never actually perused but have heard enough that I don’t want to.

    Alright now. For the…er…situation at hand.

    Systemz, hun, first off, take a deep breath, because judging by the typos of that last big post, you seem a little frazzled. Frankly the typos made the writer in me sad. Not trying to make fun of you, everyone does it. I’m just trying to say when you’re responding to someone in an aggressive way, having typos makes you seem more worked up than you might be.

    But anyway, I digress. In all honesty, I’m not sure where you’re getting all this stuff about hating and flames. I mean probably most of what Pander has said has been to either me or Jessica and while sometimes sarcastic or reminiscent of bad pick-up lines, it was all more or less banter, nothing hateful. Meant to fluster and embarrass, but not mean spirited.

    As for the rest of the stuff, well he’s not flaming or hating, it’s more teasing if anything. But mostly sarcastic banter. I know sarcasm doesn’t translate well over the internet, but well…that’s what it is. The fact that you won’t let it go and then you went as far as trying to insult him, well he probably saw that, rubbed his hands together in anticipation and glee, grinned, and set to typing. He will not stop. You can not ‘win’ if there is any such thing. Heck, he was teasing a girl on another forum about her kicking puppies for weeks. She made the mistake of allowing something so silly as comments on a forum to bother her and continued to comment on it, even for a little bit after people pointed out that if she stopped, he likely would too.

    So, all in all, take it with a grain of salt.

    (Sorry Pander, if listened to, I may have ruined your fun. Either that or now anger will be directed at me, I’m not sure which.)

  4. Caity Says:

    Actually, after reading the two posts that were put up while I was typing mine, pretty sure my little attempt at reason isn’t going to stem the flow of the overwhelming flood of rage that is probably about to burst the floodgates. Cheers!

    ::sits back to watch::

  5. Chris Says:

    I just finished the archives….in one day…and I’m bummed that it’s on hiatus…any news as to when it will return?

  6. Jessica Says:

    Careful Jon, I don’t think you’re far from causing Systemz to suffer an apoplexy.

    And Systemz, don’t call Jon fat. He is a god, ergo he has the body of a god. (This is a fact.)

    Caity: “I try not to stoop down to his level too often hehe” and “…or reminiscent of bad pick-up lines”

    Uh oh, Caity. I think that right there might be more hurtful than everything Systemz said combined.

    “As for the contracts, no hurry.”

    Thanks. I really will get to them soon. I want to do them right though, not just toss them off in a two-minute sitting. (Sadly, I’m not as quick on my feet as “MASTER” there.)

    Back to the essays I go…

  7. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Uh oh, Caity. I think that right there might be more hurtful than everything Systemz said combined.”
    I wouldn’t worry too much. I mean, I did mention that they were ‘Meant to fluster and embarrass,’ thereby allowing him to imply that *I* was flustered or embarrassed, which gives him ammo enough. And if he *didn’t* infer that, then I just handed it to him on a silver platter, so it all works out. Plus, I indirectly gave him a ‘Rowr ™’

    Considering his previously bawdy implications towards my innocent offers of massage, and the other stuff I mentioned, I’d say we’re even.

  8. Dan Mayer Says:

    I clearly need to participate here more. The drama in my everyday life doesn’t come close to this.

    Systemz, I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve here, but I’m going to go ahead and burst the bubble here. All your real-world points for why Mac can’t make a zombie’s head explode with a golf ball and a 9-iron are moot. Why? Because this entire scenario is fantasy. Zombies don’t exist. The zombie in question doesn’t exist. The clubs and ball don’t exist. Mac doesn’t really exist either, unless you count in Chuck Norris’ dreams since he’s the only person Chuck can imagine being able to kill him in his dreams. Except Bruce Lee, but that’s a whole other story.

    So please, stop arguing. No one really wants to flame you, but when you keep fighting and calling names, you’re asking for it. If you can’t accept Jon’s belief that a fictional character could do something fictional, then your entire perspective on life needs adjustment. In your case, I’d have to recommend mushrooms or other powerful hallucinogens.

  9. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: “Thank you, I try not to stoop down to his level too often hehe.”
    Please, swoop down. It’s nice down here.

    “As for the contracts, no hurry. With this latest batch of comments, Pander seems to be trying to dig himself into a hole before the deal is sealed…maybe I can use this for more benefits…hmmm….”
    pshaw!

    “::as an aside to ‘folks’:: actually, I’m just making him *think* I’m ‘totally’ into him so he’ll keep giving me pretty weaponry like the gun in Tremors 2 from earlier.”
    She’s using me, but she’s cute so I don’t care, folks.

    “Rowr ™ ::snicker::”
    Yeah… DEFINITELY into me.

    “hey, you were the one that used the phrase ‘wide open,’ I was merely quoting you,”
    When you quote a deviant, you become a deviant yourself.

    “Not trying to make fun of you, everyone does it.”
    Yes, everyone likes to make fun of you, Systemz. See? Independent corroboration of that fact! 🙂

    “I’m just trying to say when you’re responding to someone in an aggressive way, having typos makes you seem more worked up than you might be.”
    Hey now Caity, he’s getting worked up over something very important to him. Fictional infinite speed force velocity of golf balls are no joke!

    Oh wait… never mind.

    “But anyway, I digress. In all honesty, I’m not sure where you’re getting all this stuff about hating and flames.”
    He might be referring to the fact that I called him Crocodile Dundee, but it doesn’t seem like much of a flame. Hence my suspicion that he simply hates Australians and Paul Hogan in particular.

    “I mean probably most of what Pander has said has been to either me or Jessica and while sometimes sarcastic or reminiscent of bad pick-up lines,”
    Don’t underestimate bad pickup lines.
    But isn’t it funny how one of the big blowouts (pardon the pun) he made t ome was saying I was gay. When most of my posts tend to be quite lecherous to the opposite sex.

    “Meant to fluster and embarrass, but not mean spirited.”
    I love you, Caity.

    “But mostly sarcastic banter. I know sarcasm doesn’t translate well over the internet, but well…that’s what it is. The fact that you won’t let it go and then you went as far as trying to insult him, well he probably saw that, rubbed his hands together in anticipation and glee, grinned, and set to typing.”
    It tastes like happy!

    “He will not stop. You can not ‘win’ if there is any such thing.”
    Victory is mine!

    “Heck, he was teasing a girl on another forum about her kicking puppies for weeks.”
    ahem… karate-chopping puppies. She stopped kicking them after a week and moved on to other stuff.

    ” She made the mistake of allowing something so silly as comments on a forum to bother her and continued to comment on it, even for a little bit after people pointed out that if she stopped, he likely would too.”
    Which I did. Sorta. I sorta did progress to her bunny-shanking tendencies, but the oomph just wasn’t there. Meh I wuv Ellie even though she’s a barbarian queen. I have no doubt that one day she will find the path back to the Church of Pander.

    “(Sorry Pander, if listened to, I may have ruined your fun. Either that or now anger will be directed at me, I’m not sure which.)”
    With any luck, he’ll start calling YOU gay instead. When a woman’s accused of being gay, it’s much hotter.

    But maybe someone can finally tell me what these ‘forms’ he keeps yapping about are for?

    Caity: “Actually, after reading the two posts that were put up while I was typing mine, pretty sure my little attempt at reason isn’t going to stem the flow of the overwhelming flood of rage that is probably about to burst the floodgates. Cheers!”
    I know you’re on Team Pander for this one, Caity my weapon-obsessed sweet.

    Chris: “I just finished the archives….in one day…and I’m bummed that it’s on hiatus…any news as to when it will return?”
    Once you let your guard down. Just like the real zombie apocalypse.

    Jessica: “Careful Jon, I don’t think you’re far from causing Systemz to suffer an apoplexy.”
    Really??? 🙂

    “And Systemz, don’t call Jon fat. He is a god, ergo he has the body of a god. (This is a fact.)”
    Amen.

    “Uh oh, Caity. I think that right there might be more hurtful than everything Systemz said combined.”
    While immensely more hurtful than Systemz’s apoplexy-inducing rants,
    I think of it as a challenge to find way to get Caity to stoop down, and while she’s down there I have other ideas.

    “(Sadly, I’m not as quick on my feet as “MASTER” there.)”
    She means me, Systemz. MASTER. Me. Moi.

    Caity: “I wouldn’t worry too much. I mean, I did mention that they were ‘Meant to fluster and embarrass,’ thereby allowing him to imply that *I* was flustered or embarrassed, which gives him ammo enough.”
    This is true.

    “And if he *didn’t* infer that, then I just handed it to him on a silver platter, so it all works out. Plus, I indirectly gave him a ‘Rowr ™’ ”
    The rowr made me know that she’s totally, utterly into me.

    Dan Mayer: “I clearly need to participate here more. The drama in my everyday life doesn’t come close to this.”
    My every day life consists of writing interrogatories and handling depos on the phone so this is far more fun.

    “Systemz, I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve here, but I’m going to go ahead and burst the bubble here.”
    Seriously man, you’re totally fearless. That Systemz guy has a razor sharp tongue and can call you gay, parent-basement-dwelling, gay again, and friendless, while yelling at you to calm down.

    It’s like trying to match wits with a hyperactive chihuahua on meth. Sure you could win, but you still might get your ankles bitten.

    Wait… that makes no sense at all. And yet it’s still going to probably be better than Systemz’s comeback… and spelled better too.

    “All your real-world points for why Mac can’t make a zombie’s head explode with a golf ball and a 9-iron are moot. Why? Because this entire scenario is fantasy. Zombies don’t exist. The zombie in question doesn’t exist. The clubs and ball don’t exist.”
    Does this mean that Systemz is not going to be looking up any more golf ball velocities?

    “Mac doesn’t really exist either,”
    Hey now you just shut your mouth there, mister!

    “unless you count in Chuck Norris’ dreams since he’s the only person Chuck can imagine being able to kill him in his dreams.”
    This… is true.

    “Except Bruce Lee, but that’s a whole other story.”
    Little known fact. When Chuck Norris fought Bruce Lee in that movie, they had to cut every 15 minutes after Chuck would kick Bruce Lee so Bruce could curl into a fetal ball and cry for three days. Luckily, Chuck was pumped full of 75 elephant tranquilizers at the time so that his kick wouldn’t kill Bruce.

    “So please, stop arguing. No one really wants to flame you,”
    a-hem? 🙂

    “If you can’t accept Jon’s belief that a fictional character could do something fictional, then your entire perspective on life needs adjustment.”
    Such as getting one.

    “In your case, I’d have to recommend mushrooms or other powerful hallucinogens.”
    I did ask him the color of the sky in his world….

  10. Jessica Says:

    Jon Pander: “I think of it as a challenge to find way to get Caity to stoop down, and while she’s down there I have other ideas. ”

    …Caity, I am so sorry.

    “Fictional infinite speed force velocity of golf balls are no joke!”

    What is this “speed force velocity” you speak of? Velocity is a measure of displacement over a period of time, speed takes direction into account (so that it’s distance over time) and force approximates to mass multiplied by acceleration. Except that doesn’t work when one approaches the speed of light, in which case one needs a far more complex, relativistic equation (as I’m sure is the case when Mac hits a golf ball. Hell, Mac can defy the known laws of physics and hit a golf ball faster than the speed of light if he feels like it. In which case its mass would become infinite, and easily cause a zombie’s head to explode. Problem solved?)

    (I miss physics classes. There were no essays in my physics classes.)

  11. Silent Says:

    It’s possible that given most zombies are decomposed corpses that the very fructure of the bone and flesh is weak, meaning that if enough force is put behind the drive that Mac could indeed destroy said zombie with a five iron and golf ball.

  12. Jon Pander Says:

    Jessica: “What is this “speed force velocity” you speak of? Velocity is a measure of displacement over a period of time, speed takes direction into account (so that it’s distance over time) and force approximates to mass multiplied by acceleration.”
    Mac is so awesome that his physics no longer care about your fancy mumbo jumbo science.

    “Except that doesn’t work when one approaches the speed of light, in which case one needs a far more complex, relativistic equation (as I’m sure is the case when Mac hits a golf ball. Hell, Mac can defy the known laws of physics and hit a golf ball faster than the speed of light if he feels like it. In which case its mass would become infinite, and easily cause a zombie’s head to explode. Problem solved?)”
    Systemz, are you gonna call HER a gay friendless shut-in now also? Because she seems pretty dang smart.

    Silent: “It’s possible that given most zombies are decomposed corpses that the very fructure of the bone and flesh is weak, meaning that if enough force is put behind the drive that Mac could indeed destroy said zombie with a five iron and golf ball.”
    Or a putter.

    Or a loogie. This is MAC we’re talking about, remember.

  13. Caity Says:

    Pander: “Please, swoop down. It’s nice down here.”
    What? It’s climate controlled or something?

    “She’s using me, but she’s cute so I don’t care, folks.”
    ::winks::

    “Yeah… DEFINITELY into me.”
    Well, I did mention later that that was *indirect*, meaning you might be right about me ‘digging bad boys’…or at least the idea of, not sure that I would like the real deal…but I have yet to admit that you are, in fact, a ‘bad boy.’ Having said that, I’m sure that now you’re probably going to endeavor to prove your bad boy status…

    “When you quote a deviant, you become a deviant yourself.”
    I probably technically already was one, considering I’m a member of the art site by that name…

    “But isn’t it funny how one of the big blowouts (pardon the pun) he made t ome was saying I was gay. When most of my posts tend to be quite lecherous to the opposite sex.”
    I did find that rather amusing…he obviously hasn’t read the previous page of the Marry Me forums…or really paid attention to the banter between you, Jessica, and I.

    “I love you, Caity”
    ……….oh dear…..(and just because I know you’ll likely get untold amusement) :::blush:::

    “well he probably saw that, rubbed his hands together in anticipation and glee, grinned, and set to typing.”
    It tastes like happy!”
    See?

    “Which I did. Sorta. I sorta did progress to her bunny-shanking tendencies, but the oomph just wasn’t there. Meh I wuv Ellie even though she’s a barbarian queen. I have no doubt that one day she will find the path back to the Church of Pander.”
    I imagine she has a special place in her heart for you, Pander…granted it may not be a very *nice* place….but special all the same.

    “I know you’re on Team Pander for this one, Caity my weapon-obsessed sweet.”
    ::smile:: you know me so well ^.~ …I was going to make another comment, but decided that it was *way* to easy to turn dirty

    “Jon Pander: “I think of it as a challenge to find way to get Caity to stoop down, and while she’s down there I have other ideas. ”

    …Caity, I am so sorry.”
    It’s just such a *big* drop…and I’m rather afraid of heights, so I’m kind of fidgeting at the edge of the step, wondering if it’s really worth it and on the verge of darting back up to safer, less sketchy neighborhoods ^.~

    “Systemz, are you gonna call HER a gay friendless shut-in now also? Because she seems pretty dang smart.”
    And if the party in question does happen to call the both of us gay, as you have warned, I’m sure you’ll be the first to encourage us to prove him right just this once.

  14. Jessica Says:

    …You know, it’s gonna be brutal when I actually do try and catch up and reply to everything that caught my eye. In the meantime…

    Caity: “I probably technically already was one, considering I’m a member of the art site by that name…”

    Oh, are you on Deviantart? What’s your name there? I’d love to read some of your work.

    Jon Pander: “My every day life consists of writing interrogatories and handling depos on the phone so this is far more fun.”

    What exactly do you do, anyway?

  15. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: “What? It’s climate controlled or something?”
    If I said yes, would that convince you?

    “Having said that, I’m sure that now you’re probably going to endeavor to prove your bad boy status…”
    Less talky, more massage-y.

    Actually… talky t oo – tell me a story. And make sure there’s a happy ending.

    In fact, forget the story.

    “I did find that rather amusing…he obviously hasn’t read the previous page of the Marry Me forums…or really paid attention to the banter between you, Jessica, and I.”
    Maybe he thinks you are all guys. I dunno. Then again he also thought that trying to start a flame war with me would be succesful (while in fact it simply feeds me)

    “……….oh dear…..(and just because I know you’ll likely get untold amusement) :::blush:::”
    Totally….. utterly… into me, folks.

    “I imagine she has a special place in her heart for you, Pander”
    Or another part of my anatomy.

    “…granted it may not be a very *nice* place….”
    Oh it’s a wonderful place. I’m planning on setting up a theme park there.

    Sort of like Great Adventure. More flags, more fun.

    “I was going to make another comment, but decided that it was *way* to easy to turn dirty”
    How’s that different than anything else I say?

    “It’s just such a *big* drop…and I’m rather afraid of heights,”
    A wise man once said, “If you’re afraid of heights, go to the depths. It’s a shorter fall.”

    “so I’m kind of fidgeting at the edge of the step, wondering if it’s really worth it”
    It’s totally worth it. The view is great.

    ” and on the verge of darting back up to safer, less sketchy neighborhoods ^.~”
    By the way, that wise man was me.

    “And if the party in question does happen to call the both of us gay, as you have warned, I’m sure you’ll be the first to encourage us to prove him right just this once.”
    It’s a well known fact that lesbians = hot. I read it on the internet.

    Jessica: “What exactly do you do, anyway?”
    It’s funny, given what your function is for the Church of Pander. I’m an attorney 🙂

    No, seriously.

    Really. Stop laughing.

    I work on a contract attorney basis in corporate litigation, mergers and acquisition (mainly gunjumping cases and SEC reviews), and pharmaceutical intellectual property cases usually. They’re usually rather large, boring cases, and I usually don’t wind up being in court. Most of my job involves Lexis NEXIS and Westlaw research, writing interrogatories, pleadings, etc, determining which documents are relevant, and conducting depositions – very rare that it goes to trial. So I get a lot of computer time.

    pleeease stop laughing 🙂

  16. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Oh, are you on Deviantart? What’s your name there? I’d love to read some of your work.”
    Yup, my name there is thoughtfulillusion. Most of my writing there is poetry, and then there’s this one disturbing story that my teacher deserves complete blame for. He challenged one other girl and myself to write outside of our…comfort zones I guess? My stuff was usually fantasy or…well I don’t know how to describe while hers was generally more intimacy and relationships…the resulting story creeped both me and him out haha and not in a ‘weird fetish’ sort of way but a ‘creepy stalker’ kind of way.

    “If I said yes, would that convince you?’
    Hah, probably not.

    “Less talky, more massage-y.

    Actually… talky t oo – tell me a story. And make sure there’s a happy ending.

    In fact, forget the story.”
    It’s official. You’re incorrigible…and cut off from massages until I decide otherwise. Heh, bad Pander, no cookie for you. (and that’s not the bad boy type of bad, you haven’t proved yourself bad boy yet, more lecher boy ^.~)

    “Maybe he thinks you are all guys. I dunno. Then again he also thought that trying to start a flame war with me would be succesful (while in fact it simply feeds me)”
    Well, you have previously said that there are no girls on the internet, maybe he actually believes it. Granted, I’m sure Jessica and I would beg to differ. Heh, and the latter idea is just…well he was obviously under-informed about interweb wars tasting like happy to you.

    “Totally….. utterly… into me, folks.”
    You’re just hoping you’ll get me into the harem without this whole contract and High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter stuff.

    “Or another part of my anatomy.”
    I think by the end there she wouldn’t have minded separating you from ‘another part’ of your anatomy.

    “How’s that different than anything else I say?”
    True…

    “It’s totally worth it. The view is great.”
    I don’t know. You’re mind seems to dwell in the gutter, and I honestly don’t think that the gutter has a very nice view.

    “By the way, that wise man was me.”
    Yeah, that’s what I figured. It may be a shorter fall, but it’s also not as scenic. Also, depths makes me think caves, which makes me think of crawling through small tunnels, which reminds me I’m slightly claustrophobic as far as that type of situation goes.

    “It’s a well known fact that lesbians = hot. I read it on the internet.”
    Do you believe everything you read on the internet? Or just things that catch your fancy? Because if it’s the former, what do you do when two things you read contradict each other?

    “I’m an attorney

    No, seriously.

    Really. Stop laughing.”
    ::chuckles::: sorry, but it’s a rather amusing image. Some stereotypical looking attorney (not that you are, just the image in my head for the purpose of this scenario), all serious in front of clients and serious to semi-serious in front of colleagues (this is probably not true for you, somehow I can’t picture you being completely serious), and then sitting down in front of his computer in his office, making snarky comments and dirty jokes to people on the internet. On a comic about zombie apocalypse. With vampires. :::laughs::: see? I keep laughing

  17. sco3tt Says:

    Wow, Mac sure is awesome. Has anyone else noticed that? I’ve been back here almost every day since this last update and Mac doesn’t seem any less awesome as time passes.

  18. Jessica Says:

    Jon Pander: “It’s funny, given what your function is for the Church of Pander. I’m an attorney”

    I’m tempted to tell you that if that’s the case, you can write your own damn contracts (mostly ’cause now I’ll be embarassed by my fake ones.)

    Also, would you prefer that I think of you as Alan Shore or Denny Crane? I’m okay with either, since they’re both leches.

    “Less talky, more massage-y.”

    Weren’t you complaining at someone else on the Marry Me comments because he was stealing from Sohmer?

    Caity: “Yup, my name there is thoughtfulillusion.”

    Alright, I shall hunt you down.

  19. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Alright, I shall hunt you down.”
    Hmmm…maybe I should go put up some prose a bit better than that creeptastic “Mainesthai” story…yes :::scampers to find that file she knows exists somewhere on her comp::

  20. Jon Pander Says:

    sco3tt: “Wow, Mac sure is awesome. Has anyone else noticed that?”
    No, no one has ever noticed that.

    “I’ve been back here almost every day since this last update and Mac doesn’t seem any less awesome as time passes.”
    Ohhhh you mean THAT Mac. Yeah he’s awesome.

    Jessica: “I’m tempted to tell you that if that’s the case, you can write your own damn contracts (mostly ’cause now I’ll be embarassed by my fake ones.)”
    Take this in any way you’d like, but I believe fake ones can be just as good, if not better, than real ones.

    “Also, would you prefer that I think of you as Alan Shore or Denny Crane? I’m okay with either, since they’re both leches.”
    I’m fine with either reference. Indeed, I’d be proud of it.

    “Weren’t you complaining at someone else on the Marry Me comments because he was stealing from Sohmer?”
    Good eye! And I’m very consistent in my inconsistency.

  21. Jessica Says:

    Caity: “Hmmm…maybe I should go put up some prose a bit better than that creeptastic “Mainesthai” story…yes :::scampers to find that file she knows exists somewhere on her comp::”

    But creeptastic sounds fun!

    Jon Pander: “Take this in any way you’d like, but I believe fake ones can be just as good, if not better, than real ones.”

    Not at all sure how to take it, but I will post a preliminary contract this weekend. I’m about to be travelling for 12 hours without internet access though. Try not to anger your future high priestess in my absence.

    “I’m fine with either reference. Indeed, I’d be proud of it.”

    I’ll go with Alan Shore then.

    “Good eye! And I’m very consistent in my inconsistency.”

    Thank you. I try. And indeed you are.

  22. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “But creeptastic sounds fun!”
    By all means, go ahead and read hehe. I just didn’t want it to be the solitary example of my prose hehe

    “…travelling for 12 hours without internet access”
    Hope your trip or whatever it is goes well! ^.^

    “Try not to anger your future high priestess in my absence.”
    I’m starting to wonder if he’s giving me the silent treatment. I mean he didn’t reply to my post, so I figure it’s either that or he just missed it under his post since I posted the shorter one after yours.

  23. Nuin Says:

    Caity: “And I’m back again, and I come bearing amusement.
    1) http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html this list is both awesome and eerily possible.”

    I love you . Can I be you minion instead of panders …….pwease 🙂

    Pander: “Except for Jon Pander, who instead has throngs of female minion followers and harem girls.”

    I think I like harem girl better than minion. It sounds prettier.

    But I’ve already won caity over by agreeing with her in a earlier post . I could trying fawning over pander but I’m out of tequila, I do however have a nice single malt scotch I got for my 21st birthday.

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