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Comic

Page 14: Fore!

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

Love this page.  Flat colors by Kaezrer.

I’m in San Francisco now for WonderCon, so come say hello at Booth #514 this weekend if you’re in the area!

173 Responses to “Page 14: Fore!”

  1. Tommygunner70 Says:

    So… are we going to see a brain explode by a Golf ball?

    Wouldn’t surprise me really, with the physics involved, and the weakened flesh of a Zombie, it would be quite possible.

    The only thing that is really an issue is accuracy.

  2. Sim^moN Says:

    accuracy dont count when Mac’s awesomeness is involved =)

  3. the Van of Hocking Says:

    TOO BAD THE ZOMBIE DOESN’T LOOK A THING LIKE TIGER!!! oh that would be funny as hell…

  4. Frank Says:

    Wow. Just wow. I found this comic a few weeks back and I’m hooked. Keep up the good work and I hope to see much more!

    Also, I’m not sure what you intend to reveal about Mac, but he’s almost TOO awesome to be a “plain” human if you ask me. Still, even if he is just one of us I love the character.

  5. rash1981 Says:

    Whoo! Zombie puttin’!

    Just when i thought Mac couldn’t be anymore awesome. What will his next feat be after pummeling a zombie to pelp with golfballs?

    Ow is it my imagination or was Mac already hitting golfballs at the start of the first comic?

  6. rash1981 Says:

    ps I see a little AFP in Mac’s expression in th last panel; he must be some sortof Batman/AFP crossbreed.

  7. koernel Says:

    Oh shit…

    If he’s going to succeed with that one… oh my God, I can’t find words appropriate enough to express my awe

  8. sco3tt Says:

    As awesome as Mac is, he should shout FIVE or maybe even ELEVEN when he tees off.

  9. Celtrian Says:

    He’s gonna do what now?

    This is so many ways of awesome :D

  10. GodsWorshipMe Says:

    then again… the zombie might duck! after all, he did yell “FORE!” and they do seem to have learned how to run

  11. darthclaire Says:

    That is just an awesome way to kill Zombies. When you have the luxury of picking them off one by one, they can be kind of fun.

  12. Flux Says:

    “I’m testing to see how awesome I am.”

    BEST. LINE. EVER

  13. Jon Pander Says:

    13th! Yay!
    Unlucky? Hardly!

  14. Jon Pander Says:

    Sim^moN Says: “accuracy dont count when Mac’s awesomeness is involved =)”
    If Mac really wanted to, he could make the zombie explode just by yelling FORE!…. but that would be showing off too much and making Grady feel more ‘butler Alfred’ than ‘ex-superspy’ Alfred.

    Frank: “Also, I’m not sure what you intend to reveal about Mac, but he’s almost TOO awesome to be a “plain” human if you ask me. Still, even if he is just one of us I love the character.”
    For crissake…. why doesn’t anyone listen to me when I tell the big secret about Mac. He’s Batman. He’s freaking Batman. Of course he can be that awesome.
    Though I think Bobby may have made an error – the zombies probably did bite at Mac but their teeth broke against his impenetrable awesomeness shielding.

    rash1981: “Just when i thought Mac couldn’t be anymore awesome. What will his next feat be after pummeling a zombie to pelp with golfballs?”
    Next feat will be to kill a zombie with a spitball instead.
    Or should I say… bat-anti-zombie spitball.

    “Ow is it my imagination or was Mac already hitting golfballs at the start of the first comic?”
    Yes he was.
    Bobby and Owen didn’t let us see that he was actually hitting them into the heads of zombies…… 200 miles away. Grady couldn’t see that because he’s not Batman.

    “he must be some sortof Batman/AFP crossbreed.”
    No cross-breeding necessary. He’s just Batman. He doesn’t need to be anything else. AFP is dead, so technically AFP ‘lost’. Batman doesn’t lose. Not. Ever.

  15. Jon Pander Says:

    Dude I’m trying to type on the online thing but it’s not letting me for some reason.

  16. Boo Says:

    Pander, you’re on here too? How much time do you spend online in a day??

  17. Tarrant Says:

    Just so many levels of awesomeness.

  18. Kanian Says:

    This page was well worth the accustomed wait. Awesome Bobby, I did not it coming at all.

    Can’t wait for Golf ball/brain relations.

  19. Hagis Says:

    Hah, nope didn’t see that one coming. Awesome.

  20. Marie Says:

    Love x100.

  21. Jon Pander Says:

    Boo: “Pander, you’re on here too? How much time do you spend online in a day??”
    Look, one of the few redeeming things about my job which keeps me semi-sane is hte fact that I have internet which I can use in th ebackground. It makes the 16 hour days fly by.

    So what I tend to do in between research and documents is comment forums. It ain’t porn, but it won’t get me fired either. :) And the fringe benefit tends to be a loyal fan following.

    Or would you rather I just say ‘I’m like Jesus, I’m everywhere…” – that works too.

  22. minishaw Says:

    Cant wait for the zombie to catch the ball >.<

  23. leaherss Says:

    that was brilliant!

  24. Boo Says:

    Pander:

    I think I’m jealous. I used to have a job where I could use the internet (night audit at a hotel), and it was fantastic. My current job has “limited internet access”, so the only websites that can be reached are ones that the company has pre-approved. That’s where the jealous part ends though, because I can’t imagine what a 16 hour day would be like. The closest I have done was 12, and boy were my feet sore at the end of the day.

    You should be mostly satisfied though – your comments tend to the porn side, so you’re really getting the best of all worlds. ;)

  25. B-random Says:

    i just read this comic this morning, and i gotta say its a awsome concept, look forward to seeing more

  26. Hereticus Says:

    I fucking love you mac

  27. Sci Guy Says:

    You see the problem here is that you cannot accurately measure something that is so immense. An IQ test for example can only really be considered accurate up to about 175, although it can infer higher scores with rapidly decreasing precision. Go higher, and you will simply be “off the charts.” Hence the problem with testing Mac’s awesomeness: the proposed test simply is not calibrated to the levels necessary. Thus when he hits the zombie, we will only know that he is at least *that* awesome.

  28. Amadeus Says:

    Booyah! mac attack golf style

  29. SEA Says:

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CrazyAwesome

    :D

  30. sco3tt Says:

    I was working on a comparative analysis of the awesomeness of AFP, Rage and Mac. I had to stop because using a normal person as a baseline yielded no results that were quantifiable, the awesomeness was just too high to start so low. About halfway through the process my pc started shaking and whimpering and Excel uninstalled itself and is now hiding in the corner behind a stack of old Hustlers. I need to upgrade and find a more fearsome program before trying that again.

    Project; Awesomeness of Rage AFP Mac (ARAM) is on hold until then.

    Dammit.

  31. Lerron Atris Says:

    Oh god is it just me or is Mac turning into last blood’s equivalent of Chuck Norris?

  32. DjMorglith Says:

    No he is NOT Chuck Norris. Mac doesnt have the beard to hide the third fist…however…I bet girls say to him all the time “is that a golf club in your pants or are you just happy to see me?”

    “actually…it is a golf club…and a couple of balls…Zombie Paranoia…you understand dont you? Wait where’re you going?”

  33. Summer Says:

    Hmmmm, I think that someone is thinking that he is invulnerable after a tragic experience and that never, ever leads to anywhere nice.

  34. Memi Says:

    Mac’s awesomeness far exceeds that of Chuck Norris.

  35. Dr. HOBO Says:

    Mac. is. is. my. hero. forever. hahah cept rage, that dudes badass

  36. chaotik Says:

    You realize of course the zombie is going to turn out to be one of the new fast movers, the golf ball will tell it what direction to run in, and Mac, or at least his freind, is going to die a horrible horrible death in a couple pages, right?

  37. charles Says:

    After the mention that not one of the Zombs bit him, it makes me wonder… Would that cure of Addison’s work on a Zombie victim if it’s delivered before he fully turns?

    I’m half guessing he’ll miss him and shrug it off, ony to see another Zombie cone over the hill with the ball, followed by another zombie… and another… and another… and… Time to test that Awsomeness again!

  38. Lynn Williams Says:

    I’m not much for reading web comics, though I am working on one myself heh, but I just recently discovered this master piece and I have to say I am very impressed. Finally a great story with an original concept.
    And I am even more thrilled to hear that it’s being adapted into a film, because this story would make a great movie.

    As an artist myself I like Owens style! I think the character designs and panels are done nicely. I also realize how hard it is to illustrate certain scenes, especially when drawn at different angles, so he definitely gets my praise for that.

    Once again this story is great and the characters are very likeable, so i’ll be looking forward to more updates and info on the film =D
    I will also be telling my friends about it, and who knows I might even do some fan art!

  39. Altair Says:

    Dear Mac,

    You don’t need to test to see how awesome you are. You are more badass in your sleep than ordinary people are while flying jets. We all know it. You know it. End of story. Now kill that zombie with a friggin golf ball so we can all spazz out and go stark raving mad from the badass-ness.

    Sincerely,

    -Rabid Last Blood fans.

    (That was a Pure Gold line, by the way.)

  40. Jon Pander Says:

    Altiar: Where did you find my letter? Are you the guy who broke into my house last night?

    I admit the letter was wrong in one respect. Mac -does- need to keep testing how awesome he is, otherwise the sheer levels of potential awesomeness he possesses by his unseen awesomeness being in a state of quantum flux, and thus would destroy the universe. So obviously he has to keep doing these awesome things in order to keep the universe held together.

    Held together by his sheer awesomeness.

    I ran this by a physicist around 3am that I called up, and between his adled grunts of confusion, he said I’m right and asked me to stop calling him up. So it’s scientifically proven. Ha.

  41. Aieon Says:

    golf-fu! He’ll miss…

  42. Jon Pander Says:

    Later that night, Aieon was discovered dead in his room. Coroners determined death to be from a comic-book-generated golf ball. Police were baffled that a fictional golf ball could do so much damage, but the coroner explained that it was possible because of it was hit by someone who was just too damn awesome.

  43. Jon Pander Says:

    Wow, one hypothetical death by fictional golf ball, and the comments dry up.

    Look people, just don’t doubt Mac’s awesomeness and I’m sure you won’t suffer the same fate as Aieon did, I’m sure!

  44. MeMi Says:

    Lmao, we won’t doubt it, Pander.

    I think it’s been reported that people who doubt the awesomeness of Mac spontaneously combust almost immediately afterward.

    That’s no death I’d like the experience.

    I lent this book and “Marry Me” to my mother the other day and she…. she BENT them……. I was absolutely horrified……………. *cries*

  45. sco3tt Says:

    A Comedian died in New York last night . . . from golf ball related injuries.

  46. Jon Pander Says:

    MeMi: “I lent this book and “Marry Me” to my mother the other day and she…. she BENT them……. I was absolutely horrified……………. *cries*”
    I assume that the crying is because of the bent book and not because of you brutally killing your mother for bending it, right?

    I mean… that second part is sorta justified after all.

    sco3tt: “A Comedian died in New York last night . . . from golf ball related injuries.”

    Stop telling me spoilers for Watchmen! I haven’t seen it yet dangit!

  47. MeMi Says:

    Pander: of course! i thought that was a given…………. now if you’ll excuse me, i have some police reports to fill out.

  48. Sulker Says:

    I’ve got the unnerving feeling that said Zombie with incoming Golf ball is going to catch it and start chasing them like a full fledged runner/vamp.

  49. DEDPOOL369 Says:

    This is a great comic. It’s inventive and very well written. Can’t wait to see the movie, or the next page. Soon as I get the chance I’m ordering my copy. Really nice work. Mind if I shout this out on my podcast? My cohost is a zombie fanatic and I’m the comics geek. Came across this by accident but oh what an accident.

  50. Bobby Crosby Says:

    Shout it out!

  51. bakannal Says:

    dude, i discovered this comic yesterday and i’v been reading non-stop since. got nothing done at work yesterday. i’m luvin it.

  52. Jon Pander Says:

    bakannal: “i’v been reading non-stop since. got nothing done at work yesterday. i’m luvin it.”

    That’s Bobby’s ultimate goal – make the comic so freaking addictive thatso that we never actually do our work. I should know. My goofing off quotient has risen considerably ever since I started reading his comics. I now spend a full 55.6% of my work time goofing off reading the comics and comments instead of working.

    The ‘movie’ reason for making the comic is one big red herring. :)

  53. barnaclebill Says:

    hey Bobby – love the comic – it’s my visual crack habit – I want to quit but you just keep sucking me back in for more.

    I understand with all of the changing of artists and everything that’s going on, it makes it nigh on impossible to do regular updates. No complaint there. Just change the header on the webpage, please. Instead of “New Page EVERY Saturday” how about “New pages posted when you least expect it”?

    Then, when we stop by once a week to check for an update, there’s an air of mystery as to whether we’ll get some new eye candy, rather than the same old “yep, saw those panels for the past 3 weeks” letdown.

    Again – great comic – keep up the work – I think it’s a testament to your success that we keep coming back day after day, knowing there probably won’t be an update, but not being able to help ourselves anyway!

  54. Jon Pander Says:

    barnaclebill: “Instead of “New Page EVERY Saturday” how about “New pages posted when you least expect it”?”

    Bobby prefers to use the phrase ‘when you least expect it.’ to describe when the real zombie apocalypse will occur.

  55. barnaclebill Says:

    Pander: Bobby prefers to use the phrase ‘when you least expect it.’ to describe when the real zombie apocalypse will occur.

    Oh, that’s not an unexpected event. The real zombie apocalypse will occur as soon as this webcomic actually does update with a new strip every saturday. :)

    Bring on the zombie apocalypse!

  56. Jessica Says:

    Pander: “And the fringe benefit tends to be a loyal fan following.”

    You mean the ones over on the Marry Me comments page? I just skimmed through about a hundred or so, and that really gave me a great laugh. Wonderful as Bobby’s comics are, I think, as I’ve said before, I love the comments just as much.

    (No offense meant, Bobby. It takes a great original product to get so many people interested and talking about it, or in some cases, just around it.)

    I suppose you need more female commenters here, Jon. Though if memory serves, you tend to question their gender here.

    You should get some of your devoted followers from Marry Me to come read Last Blood and get more chatter going here.

  57. Jon Pander Says:

    barnaclebill: “Oh, that’s not an unexpected event. The real zombie apocalypse will occur as soon as this webcomic actually does update with a new strip every saturday.”
    Then you should thank Bobby for saving you from the rampaging undead horde.

    Jessica: “You mean the ones over on the Marry Me comments page?”
    Why…. whatever are you talking about? :)

    “No offense meant, Bobby. It takes a great original product to get so many people interested and talking about it, or in some cases, just around it.”
    The wackiness on the Marry Me comic did start as comments on the webcomic…. and sort of spiraled into the twilight zone of tangents.

    “I suppose you need more female commenters here, Jon.”
    It helps with the recruitment for the harem, yes.

    “Though if memory serves, you tend to question their gender here.”
    Well, it’s a zombie horror comic (lends itself to guys more than girls, Anko being a notable exception), as opposed to a romantic comedy comic.

    And on the intenet, Hotgrl696969 (alleged real name Tiffani, with an i), a part time exotic dancer, might actually be a 300 pound guy named Bubba O’Malley. a laid-off on disability sanitation worker.

    But I’m willing to have a suspension of disbelief.

    “You should get some of your devoted followers from Marry Me to come read Last Blood and get more chatter going here.”
    I’m sure some of them do read both, plus Dreamless (very original, great read) and Bobby’s other comics. But there are so far no lesbians in Last Blood that we know of, so it loses a big jump off point for many of my comments. Probably a good thing since lesbianism when there are so few humans left would probably be just a big stumbling block in re-creating the human population. I mean… yeah, lesbians can procreate, sure (they won’t like it but still they ‘can’)….. but it’s such a waste of a perfectly good lesbian.

    Plus, my comments on Last Blood tend to revolve around my admiration for how incredibly awesome Batma-er…. Mac is. Which there can’t be much of debate on, since anyone who was to say he is NOT awesome would probably die shortly afterwards of a golf ball or axe related injury.

    Yknow, I’m happy no one has ever made me choose which comic I like more – it would be like Sophie’s Choice to me.

  58. Emma Jane Says:

    To Jon Pander :

    “Well, it’s a zombie horror comic (lends itself to guys more than girls, Anko being a notable exception), as opposed to a romantic comedy comic.”
    This is as much a vampire horror comic as it is a zombie one, and FYI, myself 21 yr old female, and my sisters 24 and 18 LOVE everything to do with vampire movies.. so don’t go assiging genders to anything.

    Also, I love what you’ve done here Bobby, I’ve go alot of my friends hooked on the Last Blood. It rocks, you rock!

  59. bakannal Says:

    The lack of updates has got me twitching. Come on man, give us somn.

  60. Antalya Says:

    Are there more updates on the horizon? I’m really liking this, so I hope I don’t have to throw it into my dead comics folder. This is really fun work. Keep it up.

  61. Canelle Says:

    Hm. Yes, the awesomeness of Mac should prevail.
    Of course, there’s always the chance he may have to hit a second ball, considering he may have to compensate for false marketing about the club.
    Brains will splatter, just maybe not on the first stroke.
    Calling “fore” is mainly to warn people of the ball smashing through rotten skulls on a regular basis afterall, right?

    I have to agree with Emma Jane about that. 18 and female last time I checked, Pander. And I check often enough. >3
    I just love being Bi.

  62. Kanian Says:

    Speaking of, what ever happened to Anko?

  63. Jessica Says:

    Jon Pander: “Well, it’s a zombie horror comic (lends itself to guys more than girls, Anko being a notable exception), as opposed to a romantic comedy comic.”

    Emma Jane: “This is as much a vampire horror comic as it is a zombie one, and FYI, myself 21 yr old female, and my sisters 24 and 18 LOVE everything to do with vampire movies.. so don’t go assiging genders to anything.”

    Yeah, vampires do have a ludicrously high appeal for women. Browse through the romance section of a book store some time (I promise the back covers are a good laugh).

    I would also like to object to gender stereotyping etc.. You know the drill.

    And if Carrie-Anne Moss’s character in Fido is any indication, there are women who go for zombies too. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Mo6C6up1Qo) (I love that film. It was shot in my home town. Seeing the shambling undead in Polson Park, where I walked weekly and fed the ducks as a kid, was just excellent.)

    John Pander: “But there are so far no lesbians in Last Blood that we know of, so it loses a big jump off point for many of my comments.”

    You know, a lot of critical theorists argue vampires are all about blurring the boundaries between typical sexual roles and acts. Christopher Craft’s article “Kiss Me With Those Red Lips” gives a fun analysis of Dracula.

    “Plus, my comments on Last Blood tend to revolve around my admiration for how incredibly awesome Batma-er…. Mac is. Which there can’t be much of debate on, since anyone who was to say he is NOT awesome would probably die shortly afterwards of a golf ball or axe related injury.”

    Or of an overdose of a sheer awesome shockwave effect of some sort. Call up your physicist friend.

    You know, instead of starting up a harem that worships you, you could start a cult here to worship Batma-er…. Mac. He quite obviously doesn’t need one, but perhaps the public needs an outlet for their worship.

    On the other hand, I suppose it wouldn’t be much of a challenge to create a cult for such a godly being. But just think what your mind could lend to its organization and rituals.

  64. crazychickmia Says:

    I don’t know if I’ve ever commented on any of Bobby’s comics…though I have been reading three…and absolutely love all of them :)

    Well, it’s a zombie horror comic (lends itself to guys more than girls, Anko being a notable exception), as opposed to a romantic comedy comic.

    ^^ You just aren’t meeting the right girls then :) The majority of my female friends would rather be taken to a horror movie on a date than some romantic mush!

    “I suppose you need more female commenters here, Jon.”
    It helps with the recruitment for the harem, yes.

    ^^ Unfortunately, I am already part of a harem – I’m Sunday ;)

  65. Jon Pander Says:

    Emma Jane: “This is as much a vampire horror comic as it is a zombie one,”
    Still tends to be more of a guy thing than a girl thing as long as zombies are involved.

    “and FYI, myself 21 yr old female, and my sisters 24 and 18 LOVE everything to do with vampire movies..”
    Twilight doesn’t count. But seriously I’m just saying that whenver zombies are involved (even in a vampire genre), females are less likely to be interested. I didn’t make this up. I read it on the internet so it must be true.

    “so don’t go assiging genders to anything.”
    Don’t oppress me!

    bakannal: “The lack of updates has got me twitching. Come on man, give us somn.”
    Your post, coupled by your name, has made me think of vut scenes with the Sisters from The Shawshank Redemption for some reason.

    Antalya: “Are there more updates on the horizon?”
    No, that’s how the comic ends.

    “I’m really liking this, so I hope I don’t have to throw it into my dead comics folder.”
    Technically it is a comic about death, not a dead comic.

    Canelle: “Of course, there’s always the chance he may have to hit a second ball, considering he may have to compensate for false marketing about the club.”
    No, he’ll still get a hole in one.

    Then for the next three zombies, he’ll just throw the golf club and it will go through all three of their heads.

    “Calling “fore” is mainly to warn people of the ball smashing through rotten skulls on a regular basis afterall, right?”
    He was actually saying “For -” and the next page will finish the sentence with “- all things Awesome!!!!”

    “I have to agree with Emma Jane about that. 18 and female last time I checked, Pander. And I check often enough. >3″
    You’re an abberation like Anko. A good thing, but not in the majority.

    “I just love being Bi.”
    I love that you are Bi as well.

    Kanian: “Speaking of, what ever happened to Anko?”
    When she thought the comic had ended, she went on a bloody murdering spree to try to bring about a zombie apocalypse on her own. She’s currently serving 375 years in Levinworth. Democrats are in power now, though, so with good behavior, she’ll be out next week.

    Jessica: “Yeah, vampires do have a ludicrously high appeal for women. ”
    Mainly because of the romance stuff. The more brain splattering there is, the less romantic it is.

    “Browse through the romance section of a book store some time (I promise the back covers are a good laugh).”
    But no woman (other than maybe Anko and a very few others) has ever fantasized about romance with a zombie.

    Queue the fangirls saying how they want Sullivan’s lovechild.

    “And if Carrie-Anne Moss’s character in Fido is any indication, there are women who go for zombies too.”
    Which are still in the minority, which makes it dang hard for me to start a harem on this forum like I can on a Romantic Comedy like Marry Me.

    “You know, a lot of critical theorists argue vampires are all about blurring the boundaries between typical sexual roles and acts. Christopher Craft’s article “Kiss Me With Those Red Lips” gives a fun analysis of Dracula.”
    Vampire lead to ‘dark romance’. Zombies lead to brain splattering and flesh ripping. The former is more attractive to women than the latter.

    I read it on the internet.

    “Or of an overdose of a sheer awesome shockwave effect of some sort. Call up your physicist friend.”
    I did, and he stated that if Mac’s awesomeness was ever harnessed in one single point, it would destroy the universe and all 11 dimensions. Except for Mac himself, who is too awesome to be destroyed.

    “You know, instead of starting up a harem that worships you,”
    blasphemy….

    “you could start a cult here to worship Batma-er…. Mac.”
    Batma- er… Mac is a rebel and a loner, who goes to his own beat. He shuns the establishment and thus must never become the establishment.

    Because then he’d have to destroy himself, which would lead to a paradox, since Mac can destroy anything, but Mac himself can never be destroyed.

    “On the other hand, I suppose it wouldn’t be much of a challenge to create a cult for such a godly being. But just think what your mind could lend to its organization and rituals.”
    This is true. Mac thrives on the challenge. If he wanted he could have stopped the zombie apocalypse single handedly, but didn’t because he likes the challenge. He could also solve the population problem if he wanted to. Mac is so potent that he can cause women to have babies just by looking at them, no matter what their age. He could probably cause vampires to have babies also. But that would ruin the challenge.

    crazychickmia: “^^ You just aren’t meeting the right girls then ”
    Tell me about it. An ex- I had hated that I was a fan of zombie movies.
    Prove me wrong by becoming part of my harem on this comment board.

    “The majority of my female friends would rather be taken to a horror movie on a date than some romantic mush!”
    Tell them to be part of my harem as well then. I’ll be willing to admit I’m wrong if enough women join.

    “^^ Unfortunately, I am already part of a harem – I’m Sunday ”
    Tease.

  66. Jon Pander Says:

    backannal:
    vut=cut

  67. Jessica Says:

    Jon Pander:
    “backannal:
    vut=cut”

    Good thing you clarified that. Who knows what other consonants we may have used to replace that v.

    “But seriously I’m just saying that whenver zombies are involved (even in a vampire genre), females are less likely to be interested. I didn’t make this up. I read it on the internet so it must be true.”

    Oh, well if you read it on the internet…

    (I’ll grant that it’s true as a general rule, though I can think of quite a few exceptions among my friends. Maybe girls are simply generally less vocal about their love of zombies.)

    “[Canelle:] You’re an abberation like Anko. A good thing, but not in the majority.”

    What, do you think Jessica is a guy’s name?

    (I have a shirt with a pictorial zombie survival guide printed on it.)

    (My university has these emergency protocol sheets posted in all the classrooms and hallways, with little boxes explaining emergency protocols for things like “in case of flood” or “in case of fire.” I just noticed the other day that one of the boxes says “in case of the rise of the living dead.” It advised we make improvised weapons and aim for the head. It kinda made my day. I should steal one.)

    “Except for Mac himself, who is too awesome to be destroyed.”

    Well that just goes without saying.

    “blasphemy….”

    My apologies.

    Tell you what. I’ll help you with your recruitment here for your harem/cult if, in proper cult fashion, you’ll seize the (financial) assets of your followers/harem, and I get a 10% cut. I’d ask for 20%, but I know the cost of whipped cream, jello-wrestling-rings, and uh… melon ballers and whisks… can add up.

  68. Caity Says:

    I wandered over from the Marry Me area, mostly curious as to what the comments are like over here.

    ““Though if memory serves, you tend to question their gender here.”
    Well, it’s a zombie horror comic (lends itself to guys more than girls, Anko being a notable exception), as opposed to a romantic comedy comic.”

    Pander, whoever said you weren’t meeting the right girls is right. Zombie movies are my absolute favorite. I love horror movies in general, but sometimes I’m not in the mood for them. However, I will always be in the mood for a good (or horrible really, because then they’re just funny) zombie flick.

    “And if Carrie-Anne Moss’s character in Fido is any indication, there are women who go for zombies too. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Mo6C6up1Qo) (I love that film. It was shot in my home town. Seeing the shambling undead in Polson Park, where I walked weekly and fed the ducks as a kid, was just excellent.)”

    Jessica, I am wicked jealous. Fido was so full of win…I need to own that movie. Why do I not own it yet? I need to rectify this in the near future. As for vampires, I honestly usually rather dislike them in movies and tv, but I do love them in books (no, not Twilight or those found in the romance section of my local bookstore hehe). I’m also finding that they’re pretty cool in comics hehe ^.~

  69. Jessica Says:

    Caity: “I wandered over from the Marry Me area, mostly curious as to what the comments are like over here.”

    Hi, Caity, welcome! The comments here have become comparatively dull since the whole argument concerning the viability of the zombie apocalypse premise as presented in the comic more or less dried up. (That and the arguments about extra-powerful vampire senses and the viability of repopulating the planet. Those kinda resurface from time to time.) Not that that argument was ever terribly intelligent to begin with. I did love the bickering though. We should do something to liven things up here.

    “Jessica, I am wicked jealous. Fido was so full of win…I need to own that movie.”

    I’m glad to have finally met someone else who saw and enjoyed Fido. I need to own it too. I’m jealous because my friend and her father were extras (though their scenes were cut) and got to hang out around the sets and see the zombie makeup and stuff up close.

    “As for vampires, I honestly usually rather dislike them in movies and tv, but I do love them in books (no, not Twilight or those found in the romance section of my local bookstore hehe).”

    Yeah, I don’t really read romance novels either. I do amuse myself by reading the backs/jackets from time to time though. The names those authors come up with are hillarious. Which books do you read? Have any series/specific books to recommend? I don’t mind vampire films; mostly because I have this odd soft spot for really bad movies. The endless Dracula adaptations get a bit boring though. I liked the new I Am Legend.

    …I took a course on vampires at university last year. Best $450 + textbooks ever spent… (The “extreme usefulness” of the courses I take in general guarantees I will be in debt forever.)

  70. Jon Pander Says:

    Jessica: “Good thing you clarified that. Who knows what other consonants we may have used to replace that v.”
    It’s my duty to make sure you never have to find out.

    “Oh, well if you read it on the internet… ”
    Exactly.

    “What, do you think Jessica is a guy’s name?”
    Fine, you’re an abberation too.

    “(I have a shirt with a pictorial zombie survival guide printed on it.)”
    A very cool abberation.

    “I just noticed the other day that one of the boxes says “in case of the rise of the living dead.” It advised we make improvised weapons and aim for the head. It kinda made my day. I should steal one.)”
    Your school is brilliant. I wish I went there. Brandeis had absolutely no preparation for the undead hordes.

    “My apologies.”
    You’re forgiven.

    “Tell you what. I’ll help you with your recruitment here for your harem/cult if, in proper cult fashion, you’ll seize the (financial) assets of your followers/harem, and I get a 10% cut. I’d ask for 20%, but I know the cost of whipped cream, jello-wrestling-rings, and uh… melon ballers and whisks… can add up.”
    Deal.

    Caity: “Pander, whoever said you weren’t meeting the right girls is right. Zombie movies are my absolute favorite. I love horror movies in general, but sometimes I’m not in the mood for them. However, I will always be in the mood for a good (or horrible really, because then they’re just funny) zombie flick.”
    Unfortunately you don’t want in my harem.

    Jessica: “Not that that argument was ever terribly intelligent to begin with. I did love the bickering though.”
    Bickering is fun. It increases the likelihood that someone will complain abou the comic, or ask Bobby a question he’s answered a million times and incur his wrath.

    “I liked the new I Am Legend.”
    Yknow, although it was actually a hard science fiction vampirism type of plague, the original author admitted he was influenced largely by zombie stories.

    “…I took a course on vampires at university last year.”
    Who says college doesn’t teach anything useful for the real world?

  71. Jon Pander Says:

    Oh btw, Jessica….

    hehehehe you posted post #69. Heh.

  72. Caity Says:

    “Which books do you read? Have any series/specific books to recommend?”

    Haha, of course once I’m asked my mind goes blank. I did remember a few off the top of my head though. The Historian bye Elizabeth Kostova (I think that last name is right) is very good. A little slow at times but well worth getting through. If you like history and folklore type stuff, especially Dracula centric, it’s a great read. It’s not a Dracula adaptation though.

    As for a series, Jennifer Rardin has one, centered around a woman named Jaz Parks. There is a little romance involved, but not immediately, and a lot of it is actually more snarky (or maybe wry is a better word?) humor and action. It’s funny enough at times to make me laugh out loud while reading anyway, and if a book can make me do that, it’s got a good chance of winning me over.

    As for reading the book jackets of romance novels, if you want a *really* good laugh, look up one called How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire by Kerrelyn Sparks. It’s utterly ridiculous and hilarious. (wow, looking that up, I just found out apparently she’s done more…haha).

    “Unfortunately you don’t want in my harem.”

    Sorry, I’m an independent sort of girl. I’m more likely to gather my own harem than to be one of many *in* a harem.

  73. Jessica Says:

    John Pander: “Fine, you’re an abberation too.”

    Ah, just what every girl longs to hear.

    “A very cool abberation.”

    Accepted.

    “Deal.”

    I’ll get to work. (So long as we’re clear that I, personally, will not be joining.)

    “Yknow, although it was actually a hard science fiction vampirism type of plague, the original author admitted he was influenced largely by zombie stories.”

    The two genres have always been pretty close together, really.

    Vampires as feared in the Vampire crazes that swept Europe in the 17th and early 18th centuries were a lot more like our current conception of zombies. Not exactly the same, but they were a lot more “shambling undead” than “dark aristocrat,” and they tended to spread/multiply very quickly. They’d kill their victims with their bite, and those victims would become vampires without that exchange of blood that is commonly (though admittedly not always) necessary now.

    And one of the looser definition of “vampire” is a reanimated human corpse that seeks to devour other humans (usually the blood, though it depends on just how loose you’re willing to be). Not far from modern zombies.

    True zombies are undead slaves reanimated through voodoo sorcery. Nothing remotely plague-like about their spread; bites unimportant, no real desire to devour living humans.

    And vampire scholars love to claim it as part of the genre. Of course, scholars love everything that bolsters their argument, even (or perhaps especially) if their argument concerns fictional beings in works of fiction. (I consider that sort of argument perfectly excellent, personally.)

    “Who says college doesn’t teach anything useful for the real world?”

    I know! Between courses on vampires and signs detailing procedure for battling zombies, I’m pretty much set. (The sad thing is that really the course on vampires is every bit as useful as the courses I take on Shakespeare or Victorian lit. Some are just more mainstream acceptable within academia, dazzling recommendation that that is.)

    “hehehehe you posted post #69. Heh.”
    Lucky me.

    ———–

    Now, to work. Roll call: if you’re female and you love vampire/zombie stories, please make yourself known.

  74. Nathan Says:

    GAH!!! No more pages to read!!! neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed more!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (Also, I’d like to ask for a pin-up of Murdo. He rulz!!!!!)

  75. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: “Haha, of course once I’m asked my mind goes blank.”

    Her favorite vampire book, of course, is ‘Learn About Counting with the Count’
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Learn-about-Counting-Sesame-Street/dp/1586109081

    “If you like history and folklore type stuff, especially Dracula centric, it’s a great read.”
    And if you like math (the subject, not the vampire turned human), in a dracula-centric way, Learn About Counting With the Count is also a great read, or so I hear.

    “As for a series, Jennifer Rardin has one, centered around a woman named Jaz Parks. There is a little romance involved, but not immediately, and a lot of it is actually more snarky (or maybe wry is a better word?) humor and action.”
    And for movies, there’s “The Curse of Count Chocula.”

    No, unfortunately it’s not about the breakfast cereal vampire we all know and fear.

    http://www.badmovies.org/movies/chocula/

    “Sorry, I’m an independent sort of girl. I’m more likely to gather my own harem than to be one of many *in* a harem.”
    How about you gather your own harem, then be in my harem, so both of us would be happy.

    See, everyone wins!

    Jessica: “Ah, just what every girl longs to hear.”
    I have a way with words.

    “I’ll get to work. (So long as we’re clear that I, personally, will not be joining.)”
    I’ll grudgingly accept that you are going to be in supply side of the deal instead of the merchandise side of it

    “(whole buncha stuff you said about vampire/zombie similarity)”
    Uh huh, except most girls (except for you cool abberations) don’t get all turned on by zombies, while they do for most non-nosferatu-type vampires.

    “I know! Between courses on vampires and signs detailing procedure for battling zombies, I’m pretty much set.”
    You should read about the person on Marry Me’s forum who has a friend who did a thesis on flip flops, apparently. I totally missed out on the cool courses in college, apparently.

    Nathan Says: “GAH!!! No more pages to read!!! neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed more!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    No you don’t.

    “(Also, I’d like to ask for a pin-up of Murdo. He rulz!!!!!)”
    (thinking of witty comment to say here)
    ….
    ….
    ….. I got nothin’.

  76. Deejay Says:

    Pander, what the hell are you doing? Have you noticed that other than your posts and this post by Nathan, you’ve turned this page into a girl club? This is blasphemy for a zombie comic! The great lord Mac is very disappointed with you. I’d watch out for golf balls if I were you.

  77. Really? Says:

    Dude. Next page please. I can’t wait to see whether he gets him, or whether the zombie runs at him real real fast.
    I’m betting on, and hoping for, number 2.

  78. Caity Says:

    “How about you gather your own harem, then be in my harem, so both of us would be happy.

    See, everyone wins!”

    Well, except unfortunately for you, I do not happen to be a part of the bi or lesbian population of the Marry Me forum, so you’d basically be adding a harem of guys to a harem of girls. This might put a cramp on your ‘bunch of hot girls worshiping the Pander deity via various methods’ as they might be distracted by the hot guy harem members. Unless you were saying that I have a separate harem serving me while serving in your harem, but somehow I feel like my harem wouldn’t be invited, since it was previously stated that the requirement of your harem/church is being a hot girl. I think the details of this deal would need more hammering out.

    “Pander, what the hell are you doing? Have you noticed that other than your posts and this post by Nathan, you’ve turned this page into a girl club?”

    What, Deejay? Do you have a problem with girls who like zombie movies/comics? I’m hurt ::pout::

  79. Jon Pander Says:

    Deejay: “Pander, what the hell are you doing?”
    Hell if I know half the time.

    “Have you noticed that other than your posts and this post by Nathan, you’ve turned this page into a girl club?”
    Then I’m doing something right.

    “This is blasphemy for a zombie comic!”
    B-but I just wanted a second harem! It was purely innocent I tell you!

    “The great lord Mac is very disappointed with you. I’d watch out for golf balls if I were you.”
    Oh crap.

    Really?: “Dude.”
    Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude!

    “I can’t wait to see whether he gets him, or whether the zombie runs at him real real fast.”
    He’s Mac. He’ll get it.

    “I’m betting on, and hoping for, number 2.”
    Then prepare for disappointment. Mac is always #1, never #2. Unless #1 is the choice to lose, and #2 is the choice to win. Then Mac is #2.

    Caity: “Well, except unfortunately for you, I do not happen to be a part of the bi or lesbian population of the Marry Me forum”
    crappit. And you’re SURE I can’t make you my private love slave or something?

    “, so you’d basically be adding a harem of guys to a harem of girls.”
    Crap.

    “Unless you were saying that I have a separate harem serving me while serving in your harem,”
    That works!

    And never the two shall mix.

    ” but somehow I feel like my harem wouldn’t be invited, since it was previously stated that the requirement of your harem/church is being a hot girl.”
    Church of Pander gives vacation time.

    “I think the details of this deal would need more hammering out.”
    My people will talk to your people.

    “What, Deejay? Do you have a problem with girls who like zombie movies/comics? I’m hurt ::pout::”
    Inner Monologue: .oO(Good, my plan to deflect attention from my chauvanistic tendencies and redirect blame is working. Muhahaha.)

  80. Jessica Says:

    Okay, starting with a link that made me happy. http://failblog.org/2009/02/16/road-sign-fail-2/ <– someone thinks the zombie apocalypse has begun.

    Caity: “Haha, of course once I’m asked my mind goes blank.” etc.

    A lot of suggestions for a blank mind. Thank you muchly. I will add those to my reading list.

    “Sorry, I’m an independent sort of girl. I’m more likely to gather my own harem than to be one of many *in* a harem.”

    Points for that. Don’t suppose you’d be game to make the same sort of deal as I have going with Jon? I help recruitment, you seize the assets of your harem members, or charge a nominal membership fee, and we split the profits.

    …I have university tuition to pay. Don’t judge me.

    Jon Pander: “Her favorite vampire book, of course, is ‘Learn About Counting with the Count’”

    You know, I as a child I disliked all of Sesame Street except for the Count. Good to know my interest in the undead started at age two or three. Well, that or my interest in mathematics.

    “And for movies, there’s “The Curse of Count Chocula.””

    …Okay, I followed that link, and I think that sounds too horrible even for me. It’s tempting to watch at least part of it though. I did sit through all of Ice Spiders.

    “I have a way with words.”

    You are a wit.

    “I’ll grudgingly accept that you are going to be in supply side of the deal instead of the merchandise side of it”

    Excellent. Now you work on getting your harem/congregation to give you money, and I’ll work on finding more people for your harem/congregation.

    “Uh huh, except most girls (except for you cool abberations) don’t get all turned on by zombies, while they do for most non-nosferatu-type vampires.”

    I wouldn’t go so far as to say “get all turned on”…

    “You should read about the person on Marry Me’s forum who has a friend who did a thesis on flip flops, apparently. I totally missed out on the cool courses in college, apparently.”

    Golly, and her name’s Jessica too!

    Deejay: “Have you noticed that other than your posts and this post by Nathan, you’ve turned this page into a girl club?”

    And that’s a bad thing because…?

    And how does he deserve all the credit?

    Caity: “Unless you were saying that I have a separate harem serving me while serving in your harem…”

    I’d angle for High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander, and go for special privileges along with that role, including your own batch of worshippers. (Who would pay a fee for the privilege.)

    “What, Deejay? Do you have a problem with girls who like zombie movies/comics? I’m hurt ::pout::”

    See, now I’m torn between saying he shouldn’t be allowed in your harem, and suggesting you recruit him, exploit his obvious mental instability in order to gain all his money, and then toss him out as a heretic.

    Jon Pander: “[Deejay]“Have you noticed that other than your posts and this post by Nathan, you’ve turned this page into a girl club?”
    Then I’m doing something right.”

    Seriously, why does he think that’s a bad thing?

    “[Really?]“I can’t wait to see whether he gets him, or whether the zombie runs at him real real fast.”
    He’s Mac. He’ll get it.”

    See, you need to start a church of some sort in order to educate the ignorant masses.

    “[@Caity] crappit. And you’re SURE I can’t make you my private love slave or something?”

    You should offer her the rank of High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander. For a nominal fee, of course. (Which you’ll easily be able to pay, Caity, using a small portion the money you take from YOUR followers/harem.)

    (Again with the judging. Tuition!)

    “And never the two shall mix.”

    Though that would simply equal an even bigger orgy, really.

    “My people will talk to your people.”

    I’m perfectly happy to mediate.

    “Inner Monologue: .oO(Good, my plan to deflect attention from my chauvanistic tendencies and redirect blame is working. Muhahaha.)”

    That improvised thought bubble is excellent.

  81. Jessica Says:

    Why do my comments always have a delay of several hours before appearing here? It makes me fear they somehow vanished.

  82. Jessica Says:

    …And now it’s visible. I’ll just blame my internet browser then.

  83. Sean Says:

    Why do I even bother checking anymore? It’s been like 2 months.

  84. Caity Says:

    Pander: “crappit. And you’re SURE I can’t make you my private love slave or something?”
    Sorry, I’m not the slave type, although I appreciate the request. Kind of flattering in a way.

    “My people will talk to your people.”
    Well apparently both of our people have become Jessica, so perhaps a deal can be made.

    Jessica: “Don’t suppose you’d be game to make the same sort of deal as I have going with Jon? I help recruitment, you seize the assets of your harem members, or charge a nominal membership fee, and we split the profits…I have university tuition to pay. Don’t judge me.”
    It’s a thought, though while you have tuition, I have loans to pay off…hmm, so it benefits us both, I suppose…

    “You know, I as a child I disliked all of Sesame Street except for the Count. Good to know my interest in the undead started at age two or three. Well, that or my interest in mathematics.”
    Jessica, stop. You’re scaring me. Because that’s exactly how I felt when I was a kid. Couldn’t care less about the rest of them, but thought the Count was cool. heh

    “I wouldn’t go so far as to say “get all turned on”…”
    Yeah, I would have to agree with that. Not into the whole rotting, shambling corpses thing. I just like to watch them get killed and people try not to get killed by them.

    “I’d angle for High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander, and go for special privileges along with that role, including your own batch of worshippers. (Who would pay a fee for the privilege.)”
    Hmm, the idea has potential, I mean technically a high priestess isn’t really part of a harem…or something. More independent, less one of the massses I guess?

    “Though that would simply equal an even bigger orgy, really.”
    While this is true, I don’t think he’d really be open to that possibility (though I could be wrong). Mostly because if there are more guys for the harem to be distracted by, that’s less girls that are occupied with each other and/or him and dedicated to “pandering” to his every whim. :::snickers::: okay, I know, that was a horrible pun but I couldn’t help myself. Hopefully you’ll forgive me for the momentary weakness of wordplay.

    “I’m perfectly happy to mediate.”
    I can definitely accept you as a mediator :)

  85. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Why do my comments always have a delay of several hours before appearing here? It makes me fear they somehow vanished.”

    Don’t worry, mind do it too. Annoys the heck out of me because it makes me suspicious that it’s not showing the ones that others post right away too.

  86. Caity Says:

    oops, one more post, mostly to point out that I hate auto-smileys like the one that replaced my normal emoticon in the big post. Would have mentioned this in the last one only, like Jessica, it didn’t appear until I posted the second one -.-

  87. Jon Pander Says:

    Jessica: “http://failblog.org/2009/02/16/road-sign-fail-2/ <– someone thinks the zombie apocalypse has begun.”
    And who’s to say it hasn’t?

    “I have university tuition to pay. Don’t judge me.”
    Your fault for wanting an education.

    “You know, I as a child I disliked all of Sesame Street except for the Count. Good to know my interest in the undead started at age two or three. Well, that or my interest in mathematics.”
    Personally, I think that the Count probably was responsible for the death of Elmo’s parents. Not to mention Mr. Hooper. I mean … he’s a vampire, yet you’ve never seen him kill someone and take their lives. Yet people ‘mysteriously disappear’ from Sesame Street sometimes. Hrm.

    “…Okay, I followed that link, and I think that sounds too horrible even for me.”
    You should try to watch Dracula 3000 then.

    Even worse.

    “You are a wit.”
    Most of my enemies are only half as witty as I.

    “Excellent. Now you work on getting your harem/congregation to give you money, and I’ll work on finding more people for your harem/congregation.”
    Ahem…
    For the low price of $999.95 a week, you too can gain access to the tequila shower! After a long day of jell-O wrestling, wouldn’t you like to get cleaned off by a nice tequila shower orgy? Of course you would – sign up today!
    Act now!

    “I wouldn’t go so far as to say “get all turned on”…”
    Explain the Twilight fanatic girls then?

    “Golly, and her name’s Jessica too!”
    Gee willikers.

    “Response to Deejay: And that’s a bad thing because…?”
    He’s worried about cooties.

    “Response to Deejay: And how does he deserve all the credit?”
    Because I am the alpha and the omega.

    I am the one, the only one, I am the god of Kingdom Come,
    Gimme the prize, just gimme the prize.

    “See, now I’m torn between saying he shouldn’t be allowed in your harem, and suggesting you recruit him, exploit his obvious mental instability in order to gain all his money, and then toss him out as a heretic.”
    Deejay seems cool and all…. but the one time I’ve allowed a guy into the Church of Pander ended badly. He did not like that he was not allowed to participate in the orgy (that’s a special gift for Pander and his ladies), and wound up absconding one of my worshippers and started a puppy-kicking/karate-chopping barbarian horde. They hurt puppies and that just ain’t cool.

    “Jon Pander: “[Deejay]“Have you noticed that other than your posts and this post by Nathan, you’ve turned this page into a girl club?”
    Then I’m doing something right.” Seriously, why does he think that’s a bad thing?”
    I told you – he’s concerned about cooties. Those things can be as dangerous as the zombie virus sometimes. I’m inocculated against it though, so I am not worried.

    “See, you need to start a church of some sort in order to educate the ignorant masses.”
    The Church of Pander. Educating the masses since 2009.

    “You should offer her the rank of High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander. For a nominal fee, of course. (Which you’ll easily be able to pay, Caity, using a small portion the money you take from YOUR followers/harem.)”
    It’s like a pyramid thing, but with shower orgies.

    “Though that would simply equal an even bigger orgy, really.”
    Yes, but for guys, we do not want to see other dudes nekked in the orgy. We only want to see nekked hot babes. So having lots of guys in the orgy makes it a less enjoyable orgy. There’s another equation that’s being developped by my physicist friends at MIT to explain the phenomenon.

    “That improvised thought bubble is excellent.”
    Inner Monologue: .oO(Hrm, can she read my thoughts?)

    Jessica: “Why do my comments always have a delay of several hours before appearing here?”
    Your comments are nervous about being included.

  88. Nathan Says:

    Jon Pander Says:
    “Nathan Says: “GAH!!! No more pages to read!!! neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed more!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    No you don’t.”

    Yeah, you’re probably right… but I read through all of them in one go and got really frustrated when there were no pages left to read…

  89. Nathan Says:

    “Deejay: “Have you noticed that other than your posts and this post by Nathan, you’ve turned this page into a girl club?”

    And that’s a bad thing because…?

    And how does he deserve all the credit?”

    I probably don’t, but I takes what I can gets…

  90. Jon Pander Says:

    Nathan: “Yeah, you’re probably right… but I read through all of them in one go and got really frustrated when there were no pages left to read…”
    Pretend that Mac’s golf ball gets hit so hard and fast that it literally breaks the time-space continuum, sending everyone back 1 day, to the beginning of Last Blood, then start reading it again.

  91. Deejay Says:

    I must apologize. Being a true internet geek/nerd/, I did not know what a “girl” is. All I know is that urbandictionary.com said these beings are to be avoided. But then wikipedia told me “girls” are actually the beings I see in pr0n. With that being said, I approve! The more the better!

    Pander, can I be your bodyguard, for the simple price of one of your worshipers? You must be in need of a good bodyguard.

  92. Jon Pander Says:

    Deejay: “Being a true internet geek/nerd/, I did not know what a “girl” is.”
    I’ll get the diagrams ready.

    “All I know is that urbandictionary.com said these beings are to be avoided.”
    Only when they want a ring on the finger or want to take you with them to shop for shoes.

    “But then wikipedia told me “girls” are actually the beings I see in pr0n.”
    This is true. Now you see my reason for wanting them on the forums.

    “With that being said, I approve! The more the better!”
    Amen, he’s seen the light!

    “Pander, can I be your bodyguard, for the simple price of one of your worshipers? You must be in need of a good bodyguard.”
    I’ll hire you on a trial basis. Keep the horde away, Allow the hot babes in. Be like a bouncer at a popular nightclub – hottest girls get entry the fastest.

  93. Caity Says:

    “I’ll hire you on a trial basis. Keep the horde away”
    Oh gee, Pander, then that means I can’t give you massages anymore, since nothing has been finalized. Thus, for the time being, I remain a member of the horde.

  94. Jessica Says:

    Deejay: “Pander, can I be your bodyguard, for the simple price of one of your worshipers? You must be in need of a good bodyguard.”

    Jon doesn’t pay his bodyguards, given that being in his presence allows them to see tequila shower orgies, etc. You may, however, pay HIM to be his bodyguard. I know it sounds strange, but people pay to go to school and listen to lectures on inferential statistics. Just think how much more value for your dollar you’re getting here!

    Alternatively, for a small nominal fee, you could join Caity’s harem. I hear she has the whole hot girl with guns thing going on.

    Caity: “It’s a thought, though while you have tuition, I have loans to pay off…hmm, so it benefits us both, I suppose…”

    Exactly! I’m all about the mutually-beneficial relationships. If everyone wins, no one wants to come after me for revenge.

    “Jessica, stop. You’re scaring me. Because that’s exactly how I felt when I was a kid. Couldn’t care less about the rest of them, but thought the Count was cool. heh”

    I really don’t want to know what that says about us psychologicially. At least we aren’t alone in our probable mental illness?

    “Hmm, the idea has potential, I mean technically a high priestess isn’t really part of a harem…or something. More independent, less one of the massses I guess?”

    Oh definitely. A class above the masses. In charge of the masses. Able to direct the masses at your whim.

    “Well apparently both of our people have become Jessica, so perhaps a deal can be made.”
    and
    “I can definitely accept you as a mediator ”

    Good, good. We’ll have contracts hammered out in no time.

    “Don’t worry, mind do it too. Annoys the heck out of me because it makes me suspicious that it’s not showing the ones that others post right away too.”

    Ugh, I know. I didn’t see your March 26 3:41 post when I wrote my 4:40 post, or I would have answered it then. It makes it hard to keep one’s responses in order.

    Jon Pander: “Your fault for wanting an education.”

    Well how else am I supposed to become a cross between Daniel Jackson and Rupert Giles?

    “Personally, I think that the Count probably was responsible for the death of Elmo’s parents. ”

    Good. Elmo annoys the hell out of me.

    “You should try to watch Dracula 3000 then.”

    I will.

    “Even worse.”

    Excellent.

    “For the low price of $999.95 a week, you too can gain access…” etc.

    Yeah… I was hoping for more charismatic cult leader/god and less used car salesman…

    “Explain the Twilight fanatic girls then?”

    I can’t. I don’t think anyone can. I read in Maclean’s (a Canadian news magazine) that this one mother hiked out to the Twilight set in the woods, and handed her baby and her camera to some random cameraman at the fence which kept the terrifying fanatics away from the set, and asked him to hike for thirty minutes, well out of sight, to get a picture of her baby with Robert Pattinson. Not some 14-year-old fangirl, but a mother. Handed off her baby. Yeah.

    ““Response to Deejay: And how does he deserve all the credit?”
    Because I am the alpha and the omega.”

    Did no one notice how much the general rate of commenting started to pick up after I arrived on the scene? No one?

    “Deejay seems cool and all…. but the one time I’ve allowed a guy into the Church of Pander ended badly. ”

    I was talking to Caity.

    However, now that you’ve opened negotiations with Caity, you could start to recruit male worshippers to be a part of her harem, as one of her perks as high priestess. You could offer them voyeuristic day-passes (for a nominal fee, seats in a room with one-way glass) to the shower orgies for good behaviour in Caity’s harem. She would, of course, be allowed to define what consitutes good behaviour, and they would, of course, in no way be allowed to participate in or interfere with the rituals your worship. (Does a tequila shower orgy constitute a ritual?)

    “I told you – he’s concerned about cooties. Those things can be as dangerous as the zombie virus sometimes. I’m inocculated against it though, so I am not worried.”

    Against cooties or the zombie virus?

    “The Church of Pander. Educating the masses since 2009.”

    No, to educate the masses about the awesomeness of Mac. Not about the benefits of tequila showers.

    “It’s like a pyramid thing, but with shower orgies.”

    And nothing involving shower orgies could ever be bad, no matter what shape it might be.

    “Inner Monologue: .oO(Hrm, can she read my thoughts?)”

    I rather suspect I don’t want to.

    Nathan: “I probably don’t, but I takes what I can gets…”

    How about you take an offer of membership within the Church of Caity, subsidiary branch of the Last Blood Chapter of the Church of Pander, which has been educating the masses since 2009 about the benefits of shower orgies and the awesomeness of Mac. And… um…

    Guys, we need a catchier slogan.

  95. Jessica Says:

    Great, more comments showed up while I was typing mine. And mine is “awaiting moderation”

    To catch up:

    Jon Pander: “I’ll hire you on a trial basis. Keep the horde away, Allow the hot babes in. Be like a bouncer at a popular nightclub – hottest girls get entry the fastest.”

    No, charge him for the privilege. See my other post when it shows up.

    Caity: “Oh gee, Pander, then that means I can’t give you massages anymore, since nothing has been finalized. Thus, for the time being, I remain a member of the horde.”

    A member of the horde? Wait, what? What about the contracts I’ve been drafting for your induction as High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander?

    And since when does the horde have a presence on the Last Blood comments page?

    Work on an essay for a few hours and everything unravels…

  96. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Alternatively, for a small nominal fee, you could join Caity’s harem. I hear she has the whole hot girl with guns thing going on.”
    Oh yeah, bang baby ^.~

    haha, I like your recruiting style.

    “I really don’t want to know what that says about us psychologicially. At least we aren’t alone in our probable mental illness?”
    Company is always a good thing…and I don’t want to know either.

    “Oh definitely. A class above the masses. In charge of the masses. Able to direct the masses at your whim.”
    Ooo, my whims, huh? Sounding better and better.

    “the Church of Caity, subsidiary branch of the Last Blood Chapter of the Church of Pander”
    Ya know, I’m liking the sound of that.

    “Guys, we need a catchier slogan.”
    Oh no, it’s plenty catchy…we just need to figure out a way to paraphrase hehe

    “A member of the horde? Wait, what? What about the contracts I’ve been drafting for your induction as High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander?

    And since when does the horde have a presence on the Last Blood comments page?”
    Oh, continue drafting by all means. Just for all intents and purposes, until they’re finalized, I’m still technically part of the horde from the Marry Me forum. ::whisper:: besides, holding out massages might create the opportunity to sweeten the deal. I learned from the typo demons, also of the Marry Me forum.

  97. Jessica Says:

    Okay, commenting again because my essay research is not going well…

    Have I mentioned yet that I love the luminous, vibrant colours on these pages? It’s great, because it’s so pastoral green, and sunny and blue skies — and then there are zombies. I love the incongruity of it.

  98. Jessica Says:

    And my internet browser needs to learn that “refresh” means provide me with the latest version of the page.

    Caity: “haha, I like your recruiting style.”

    Thank you. So long as it works.

    “Ooo, my whims, huh? Sounding better and better.”
    and
    “Ya know, I’m liking the sound of that.”

    Apparently it does work.

    See, I like deals that are beneficial for everyone (except the masses who pay for the privilege of responding to your every whim, I guess — though they do get to bask in your presence, so I still say everyone wins). Now if Jon will just let us know whether or not he agrees so far, we can get this ball rolling. Or perhaps “party started” is the expression of choice in this situation.

    “Oh no, it’s plenty catchy…we just need to figure out a way to paraphrase hehe”

    Sadly, it makes a lousy acronym.

    “Oh, continue drafting by all means. Just for all intents and purposes, until they’re finalized, I’m still technically part of the horde from the Marry Me forum.”

    I guess I can work with that.

    Jon, we’re waiting on a response from you now before negotiations proceed further.

    “I learned from the typo demons, also of the Marry Me forum.”

    Maybe they’re the ones responsible for the weird delayed appearance of posts on this comments thread.

  99. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Maybe they’re the ones responsible for the weird delayed appearance of posts on this comments thread.”
    Could be, but you’d have to ask Pander if that was one of their duties. He was the one negotiating with them to cause trouble for the horde.

  100. Jessica Says:

    Caity: “Could be, but you’d have to ask Pander if that was one of their duties. He was the one negotiating with them to cause trouble for the horde.”

    If he did assign them the task, then I suppose he must not agree with your assessment that I’ll make a decent mediator, since it’s making my job more difficult.

    And look! We’ve achieved 100 comments.

  101. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “If he did assign them the task, then I suppose he must not agree with your assessment that I’ll make a decent mediator, since it’s making my job more difficult.”

    Hmmm…I dunno. I mean he *was* having some trouble with them over at Marry Me…they were typo-ing some of his followers, he claimed so they could get a better bargain. So maybe they’re doing it on their own. I think he needs to post and clear up this mess hehe.

    “And look! We’ve achieved 100 comments.”
    Haha, now we only need about 700+ more and we’ll be on par with the Marry Me forum…and far more impressive too, as less people seem to be actively posting over here.

  102. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Okay, commenting again because my essay research is not going well…”
    By the way, my condolences on the essay…having to do any essay at *all* really. I’m only glad that I never have to BS…I mean create a well-detailed, fully researched, thought-provoking paper every again (hopefully). And I was a creative writing major haha, which, incidentally meant a lot more essay writing and a lot less story writing than I originally figured.

  103. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: “Oh gee, Pander, then that means I can’t give you massages anymore, since nothing has been finalized.”
    Except for Caity, Deejay. Caity can approach.

    Jessica: “Jon doesn’t pay his bodyguards, given that being in his presence allows them to see tequila shower orgies, etc.”
    She makes a good point.

    “You may, however, pay HIM to be his bodyguard.”
    I like having Jessica as my business manager.

    “I know it sounds strange, but people pay to go to school and listen to lectures on inferential statistics.”
    I’m sold on this idea entirely.

    “Just think how much more value for your dollar you’re getting here!”
    You’d be crazy to pass up an offer like this!

    “”If everyone wins, no one wants to come after me for revenge.”
    This girl is too smart. But meh, it works.

    “Oh definitely. A class above the masses. In charge of the masses. Able to direct the masses at your whim.”
    Directing masses at your whim is awesome. It’s why I became a deity. I highly recommend directing masses.

    “Well how else am I supposed to become a cross between Daniel Jackson and Rupert Giles?”
    Go through a stargate and spend a year on Abydos, or find a young girl and tell her she’s supposed to kill vampires. Remember, before Dr Jackson went to Abydos, he was a nobody. Fat lot of good all that school did him – it was the stargate that did it all.

    “Good. Elmo annoys the hell out of me.”
    That tickles! heehee! AAAAAAGH MY BLOOD!

    ““You should try to watch Dracula 3000 then.” I will.”
    Please don’t kill me after you watch it. I’m your mealticket.

    “Yeah… I was hoping for more charismatic cult leader/god and less used car salesman…”
    Gotcha. I’ll start stockpiling the weapons.

    “I read in Maclean’s (a Canadian news magazine) that this one mother hiked out to the Twilight set in the woods, and handed her baby and her camera to some random cameraman at the fence which kept the terrifying fanatics away from the set, and asked him to hike for thirty minutes, well out of sight, to get a picture of her baby with Robert Pattinson.”
    Some of your gender are crazy when it comes to that movie. You know that, right?

    “Not some 14-year-old fangirl, but a mother. Handed off her baby. Yeah.”
    Totally bonkers.

    “Did no one notice how much the general rate of commenting started to pick up after I arrived on the scene? No one?”
    It’s what I’m payin’ you for.
    I’m still the alpha and the omega.

    ” (Does a tequila shower orgy constitute a ritual?)”
    Not only does it constitute a ritual, it’s tax deductible.

    “Against cooties or the zombie virus?”
    Yes.

    “No, to educate the masses about the awesomeness of Mac. Not about the benefits of tequila showers.”
    I think someone as awesome as Mac probably has engaged in a fair bit of tequila showers as well. The two are not mutually exclusive.

    “And nothing involving shower orgies could ever be bad, no matter what shape it might be.”
    True.

    “the Church of Caity, subsidiary branch of the Last Blood Chapter of the Church of Pander, which has been educating the masses since 2009 about the benefits of shower orgies and the awesomeness of Mac. And… um…
    Guys, we need a catchier slogan.”
    I think the one we have works pretty good. Shower orgies and mac awesomeness. Awesome x awesome = Awesome squared

    Jessica: “A member of the horde? Wait, what? What about the contracts I’ve been drafting for your induction as High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander?”
    Caity’s just a bit confused. She needs to massage me until everything clears up. She knows deep down that her place is with Pander.

    In Pander We Trust.

    “Oh, continue drafting by all means. Just for all intents and purposes, until they’re finalized, I’m still technically part of the horde from the Marry Me forum. ::whisper:: besides, holding out massages might create the opportunity to sweeten the deal.”
    Dangit, she knows me too well.

    “I learned from the typo demons, also of the Marry Me forum.”
    I’m pretty sure I’m not going to hire them on this forum – they tend to turn on my followers.

    Jessica: “Sadly, it makes a lousy acronym.”
    Mac Awesomeness and Shower Tequila Eternal Raunchiness

    “Jon, we’re waiting on a response from you now before negotiations proceed further.”
    Make it so, Number One.

    Caity: “Could be, but you’d have to ask Pander if that was one of their duties. He was the one negotiating with them to cause trouble for the horde.”
    They tend to be a pain during contract negotiations, but I never had Jessica negotiating my contracts with them on Marry Me’s forum.

    “If he did assign them the task, then I suppose he must not agree with your assessment that I’ll make a decent mediator, since it’s making my job more difficult.”
    I hired them only for the Marry Me forum, primarily to bug Ellie.

    “Hmmm…I dunno. I mean he *was* having some trouble with them over at Marry Me…they were typo-ing some of his followers, he claimed so they could get a better bargain. So maybe they’re doing it on their own. I think he needs to post and clear up this mess hehe.”
    The typo demons are rude when it comes to contract negotiations. They’re worse than the MTA. Once they turned on my followers I figured they were more trouble than they were worth.

  104. Caity Says:

    Pander: “Except for Caity, Deejay. Caity can approach.”
    Yay! I’m an exception to a rule!

    “Go through a stargate and spend a year on Abydos, or find a young girl and tell her she’s supposed to kill vampires. Remember, before Dr Jackson went to Abydos, he was a nobody. Fat lot of good all that school did him – it was the stargate that did it all.”
    But wasn’t it his schooling (his background in hieroglyphics/cryptology (I think cryptology is the appropriate word here)) responsible for him getting access to the Stargate in the first place. I mean if I remember my early stargate correctly, they brought him in to help decipher the cover stones…

    On another note, anyone still surprised at this point that the three of us watch this show too?

    “Caity’s just a bit confused. She needs to massage me until everything clears up. She knows deep down that her place is with Pander.”
    EIther that or he’ll keep distracting me with pretty weaponry until I concede.

    “Dangit, she knows me too well.”
    ::Grin:: I may have started posting on the forum late, but I paid attention before I did hehe

    “Mac Awesomeness and Shower Tequila Eternal Raunchiness”
    Which is shortened to MASTER…wow…I think I’m impressed and vaguely frightened by how well and quickly you worked that one out.

    “Once they turned on my followers I figured they were more trouble than they were worth.”
    I’m pretty sure I warned you about the reliability of demons in the first place…heh and you teased me for being too cautious, tsk tsk.

  105. Nathan Says:

    “Nathan: “I probably don’t, but I takes what I can gets…”

    How about you take an offer of membership within the Church of Caity, subsidiary branch of the Last Blood Chapter of the Church of Pander, which has been educating the masses since 2009 about the benefits of shower orgies and the awesomeness of Mac. And… um…

    Guys, we need a catchier slogan.”

    You also need, like… a religious holiday… like… Mac-mas or something… and put it on the anniversary of the first appearance of Mac in LB… o.O

  106. Nathan Says:

    Don’t use Mac-mas… it’s really a lame name, but I couldn’t think of anything else…

  107. john Says:

    can u all stop cutting and pasting each other comments just to answer a specific thing they said please, its like every post is getting longer and longer just reply with what u want to say ppl.

  108. Deejay Says:

    Allright then! I shall guard you with my life, Pander!

  109. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: “Yay! I’m an exception to a rule!”
    Every rule has to have one.

    “But wasn’t it his schooling (his background in hieroglyphics/cryptology (I think cryptology is the appropriate word here)) responsible for him getting access to the Stargate in the first place.”
    No, it was his crackbrain theories (which were true) which got him access, not his schooling.

    “I mean if I remember my early stargate correctly, they brought him in to help decipher the cover stones…”
    They had already figured out what it was for though, they just couldn’t figure out how to make it work. Which also didn’t require his schooling, since he figured it out by seeing an astrology page in the newspaper.

    “On another note, anyone still surprised at this point that the three of us watch this show too?”
    Not one bit.

    “EIther that or he’ll keep distracting me with pretty weaponry until I concede.”
    That works. Wanna see my glock? *wink*

    “I may have started posting on the forum late, but I paid attention before I did hehe”
    My reputation precedes me.

    Otherwise I’d be late for all my appointments.

    “Which is shortened to MASTER…wow…I think I’m impressed and vaguely frightened by how well and quickly you worked that one out.”
    My gift for speedy backronyms is a blessing and a curse.

    “I’m pretty sure I warned you about the reliability of demons in the first place…”
    I don’t remember – I have a short attention span when it comes to things about which I was wrong

    Nathan: “You also need, like… a religious holiday… “l
    Well the Church of Pander has tequila shower orgy day and wet T-shirt contest day, but that’s really only for the hot babes. Perhaps our subsidiary church has something also.

    “ike… Mac-mas or something…”
    Mac was not born. He has always been.

    john: ”
    can u all stop cutting and pasting each other comments just to answer a specific thing they said please,”
    No.

    “its like every post is getting longer and longer just reply with what u want to say ppl.”
    We prefer this way.

    BTW, do you see the irony in what I’m doing right now in responding to your post?

    Deejay: “Allright then! I shall guard you with my life, Pander!”
    Thank you, minion.

  110. DaveM Says:

    Does anyone know how long this comic will be on hiatus?

  111. Dan Mayer Says:

    DaveM: When you least expect it.

  112. Dan Mayer Says:

    Der. I screwed up that joke. :P

    What I meant to say is, it’ll update when you least expect it.

  113. Jessica Says:

    Caity: “By the way, my condolences on the essay…having to do any essay at *all* really. ”

    Thank you. I have four due this week. And two tests. I think I’ve slept three hours in the last forty eight.

    “And I was a creative writing major”

    Really? What do you write? (Do you still write?)

    Jon Pander: “I like having Jessica as my business manager.”

    I try.

    “This girl is too smart. But meh, it works.”

    Didn’t think you would be the type to be threatened by intelligent women.

    “Remember, before Dr Jackson went to Abydos, he was a nobody. Fat lot of good all that school did him – it was the stargate that did it all.”

    But they knew of him because he achieved a doctorate so that the academic community would listen to his crazy theories and then ostracize him.

    And he used his education for the three or so episodes before all of the alien races they encountered conveniently spoke English to save the producers the trouble of subtitles and plot-slowing translations.

    “Please don’t kill me after you watch it. I’m your mealticket.”

    I’ll keep that in mind.

    “Gotcha. I’ll start stockpiling the weapons.”

    Good. See that you do. Also kindly see to it that only the right people hear about it. (Caity = right people. The press =/= right people)

    “Not only does it constitute a ritual, it’s tax deductible.”

    Excellent! On with the shower orgies. (Out of curiosity’s sake, what happens with the waste tequila? Because if it just disappears down a drain, I vote we collect and bottle it. I’m sure there’s a market for “aged in orgy” tequila.)

    “Mac Awesomeness and Shower Tequila Eternal Raunchiness ”

    er… I’ll take it under advisement.

    “Make it so, Number One”

    Sir, yes sir.

    Okay, Caity, if you agree to be High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter of the Church of Pander, subject to the conditions previously discussed, please say “aye”. This will constitute a legally binding contract in the district of the United Forums of the Last Blood Comic Comments.

    Caity: “Yay! I’m an exception to a rule!”

    And I’m an abberation! …I think I like your title better.

    “(his background in hieroglyphics/cryptology (I think cryptology is the appropriate word here))”

    It probably is. I think they just refer to him throughout as an archaeologist. Just like they refer to Carter as an astrophysicist, but she’s also an expert in chemistry, electrical engineering, programming, and whatever else they need at the time. I love the show dearly, but it’s very silly sometimes. (And yes, they did bring him in for his expertise.)

    “On another note, anyone still surprised at this point that the three of us watch this show too?”

    Not terribly, though I am pleased.

    “EIther that or he’ll keep distracting me with pretty weaponry until I concede.”

    I’m sure we can add a clause to your contract regarding access to the weapons he said he’d be hoarding.

    …maybe I should post a complete list of terms for your contract. But not here. This comment will be long enough as it is. Let me know if you’d like me to do that, though.

    Nathan: “You also need, like… a religious holiday… like… Mac-mas or something… and put it on the anniversary of the first appearance of Mac in LB… o.O”

    Nathan, if you don’t want to join Caity’s congregation, then I’ll see if I can get Caity and Pander to hire you as part of my marketing team. (Or you could do both, I suppose.)

    Jon Pander: “Mac was not born. He has always been.”

    He said his first appearance in the comic. And clearly people want to celebrate his existence. This holiday could be celebrated with different rituals in each branch of your church. I’m sure you can adapt it to zombie-slaying-jello-reenactment or something.

    On a somewhat unrelated note: http://www.planetout.com/pno/images/quicktime/trailers/batman.mov (he fights an exploding shark while dangling on a ladder from a helicopter)

  114. Jon Pander Says:

    DaveM: “Does anyone know how long this comic will be on hiatus?”
    Bobby knows.

    Jessicas: “Didn’t think you would be the type to be threatened by intelligent women.”
    I’m not. It’s just that intelligent women don’t often go into business dealings with me.

    “But they knew of him because he achieved a doctorate so that the academic community would listen to his crazy theories and then ostracize him.”
    He could have had the same theories by working for the National Enquirer.

    “And he used his education for the three or so episodes before all of the alien races they encountered conveniently spoke English to save the producers the trouble of subtitles and plot-slowing translations.”
    I should call a TV Trope on that fact.

    “Good. See that you do. Also kindly see to it that only the right people hear about it. (Caity = right people. The press =/= right people)”
    Janet Reno VERY =/= right people

    “Excellent! On with the shower orgies. (Out of curiosity’s sake, what happens with the waste tequila? Because if it just disappears down a drain, I vote we collect and bottle it. I’m sure there’s a market for “aged in orgy” tequila.)”
    We have a web site that sells that tequila, yeah.

    ““Mac Awesomeness and Shower Tequila Eternal Raunchiness ” er… I’ll take it under advisement.”
    Cmon Jessica. Then all the new hottie babes can point to me and say “I want to belong to MASTER!”

    “(And yes, they did bring him in for his expertise.)”
    I think they probably brought him in because Catherine recognized him from her youth back when they travelled back to 1969. He could have been a peanut farmer and they’d still have brought him in. It’s a predestination paradox.

    “I’m sure you can adapt it to zombie-slaying-jello-reenactment or something.”
    I suppose I could. I just don’t want to limit Mac to a single day. We all need to get in touch with our inner Mac every day of the year.

    Amen.

    “http://www.planetout.com/pno/images/quicktime/trailers/batman.mov (he fights an exploding shark while dangling on a ladder from a helicopter)”
    That…is….awesome.

    So I have to meet your awesome with another awesome
    http://www.llbbl.com/data/RPG-motivational/target8.html
    That hot chick is beating up a purple space ape by swinging a shark as a weapon, while she’s standing in a T-rex’s open mouth.

    CMON!!!!

  115. Bobby Crosby Says:

    “Bobby knows.”

    I have no clue.

  116. Caity Says:

    oo, I have to catch up

    Pander:”That works. Wanna see my glock? *wink*”
    I would say yes, but that wink made me leery of innuendo.

    “I don’t remember – I have a short attention span when it comes to things about which I was wrong”
    Probably a natural defense mechanism.

    “Perhaps our subsidiary church has something also.”
    We’re still in development, so not yet, but I’m sure we can think something up.

    Jessica: “Thank you. I have four due this week. And two tests. I think I’ve slept three hours in the last forty eight.”
    I…oh…I…don’t even know what to say…words can’t properly convey how terribly bad I feel for you right now…if there’s anything I can do…I do amazing hand massages (apparently)…though I have a feeling they wouldn’t translate well over the internet.

    “Really? What do you write? (Do you still write?)”
    Yup, I primarily write fantasy. I was going to delve into science fiction but then found out that there was a tv show with pretty much the same plot that I had never seen or heard of…ever. It was weird and depressing. I don’t write as much lately as I should (how did you know! haha), ’cause college kind of turned it into work and I’m still trying to remember that it’s actually fun.

    “Not terribly, though I am pleased.”
    As am I, actually. hehe

    “…maybe I should post a complete list of terms for your contract. But not here. This comment will be long enough as it is. Let me know if you’d like me to do that, though.”
    Yes to the weapons access please! hehe, also yes, that would be lovely (and amusing), since I vaguely remember something about a suggestion of a fee being involved but made up by seizing the assets of my own harem…just want to make sure I’m not compounding my loans…we intelligent women have to keep track of our money and where it goes after all.

    “Nathan, if you don’t want to join Caity’s congregation, then I’ll see if I can get Caity and Pander to hire you as part of my marketing team. (Or you could do both, I suppose.)”
    I can agree to that.

    Pander (again!): “I’m not. It’s just that intelligent women don’t often go into business dealings with me.”
    They’re probably at least slightly less likely to instantly jump into tequila shower orgies/pie & jello wrestling pits too. Either that or he’s afraid of us using it against him ^.~.

    “I should call a TV Trope on that fact.”
    Well, I’m pretty sure he knew how to speak Ancient Egyptian, which did come in handy…and could not have been learned by working for the National Enquirer.

    “Cmon Jessica. Then all the new hottie babes can point to me and say “I want to belong to MASTER!””
    ::snickers:: you *would* like that, wouldn’t you?

    I feel vaguely inadequate not having an awesome of my own to share…I mean I could link to a guy beatboxing *and* playing a flute at the same time (the Inspector Gadget theme song)…but I’m not sure that anyone else would think that was awesome…aw heck, here it is anyway: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1743116 (There’s also a Mario one, but I decided to stick to the old cartoon/tv show theme we’ve got going)

  117. Jon Pander Says:

    Bobby Crosby: “I have no clue.”
    He’s bluffing.

    Oh wait, hey Bobby, there you are. We’re closing in on 850 comments on Marry Me. Had this awesome theory about where you were – sort of a mix between Texas chainsaw massacre, Night of the living dead and Misery.

    Caity: “Pander:”That works. Wanna see my glock? *wink*”
    I would say yes, but that wink made me leery of innuendo.”
    Am I the type of person to use innuendo?

    *wink*

    “Probably a natural defense mechanism.”
    What were we talking about, again?

    “I do amazing hand massages (apparently)…though I have a feeling they wouldn’t translate well over the internet.”
    Less talky, more massage-y. *lies down*

    “I can agree to that.”
    Long as the end result are more hottie worshippers (+ mon-ay) for me, I’m cool with it.

    “They’re probably at least slightly less likely to instantly jump into tequila shower orgies/pie & jello wrestling pits too.”
    Boooooooo.

    “Well, I’m pretty sure he knew how to speak Ancient Egyptian, which did come in handy…and could not have been learned by working for the National Enquirer.”
    Have you ever worked for the National Enquirer? I’m told speaking ancient Egyptian is actually a requirement. I read it on the internet.

    ““Cmon Jessica. Then all the new hottie babes can point to me and say “I want to belong to MASTER!”” ::snickers:: you *would* like that, wouldn’t you?”
    Yes. Yes I would.

  118. Caity Says:

    Pander: “Am I the type of person to use innuendo?

    *wink*”
    I think that second wink answers that question……..^.~

    “What were we talking about, again?”
    See how well it works

    “Less talky, more massage-y. *lies down*”
    ::snickers:: funny, I could have sworn I said ‘hand massages’ not ‘back massages’….

    “Have you ever worked for the National Enquirer? I’m told speaking ancient Egyptian is actually a requirement. I read it on the internet.”
    Really? Dang, another writing job I can’t get…

  119. caboose Says:

    aw, no april fools joke? for shame

  120. Bobby Crosby Says:

    The momentous news today is simply that I wrote another page. Just finished it.

  121. Marie Says:

    Yay for momentous news! <3

  122. Atirakis Says:

    April fools?

  123. Jak&Daxter Says:

    I kind expect the zombie’s head to explode cause he is probably using exploding golf-balls.

  124. Systemz Says:

    Well now a few things can happen;
    1. He hits the zombie gets hit with the golfball and his head explodes (wouldn’t happen in real life, i work on a golf cource and have been hit many times with tee shots, even with weakened flesh the head wouldn’t explode, because of the bones)
    2. Gets hit and dies from bone fragmentation into the brain
    3. Gets hit in the body, and breaks out into a sprint and almost kills one of them
    4. Gets hit and breaks out into a sprint and kills one of them then gets man handeled with the axe
    5. There are more Zombies and they will get ambushed
    6. Zombie Sprints then gets hit and a joke gets made about the clubs accuracy
    7. Nukes explode and end of comic, not likly but still a possablility lmfao :P jks that will not happen :P

  125. Jake Says:

    Not to nitpick Owen’s excellent art, but it looks like Mac actually ended up going with an iron rather than the driver.

  126. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: “I think that second wink answers that question……..^.~”
    It was a partial blink, I swear.

    “::snickers:: funny, I could have sworn I said ‘hand massages’ not ‘back massages’….”
    Use your hands to massage…

    Fine, it doesn’t have to be a massage on my back. *lies on back*

    Bobby Crosby:”April 1st, 2009 at 9:03 pm
    The momentous news today is simply that I wrote another page. Just finished it.”
    April fools!

  127. Jon Pander Says:

    Systemz: “Well now a few things can happen;”
    So far you are 100% correct.
    Things can happen.

    Unless the comic never updates, in which case things can’t happen and you are 100% wrong.

    “1. He hits the zombie gets hit with the golfball and his head explodes (wouldn’t happen in real life, i work on a golf cource and have been hit many times with tee shots, even with weakened flesh the head wouldn’t explode, because of the bones)”
    You’ve never been hit in the face with a golf ball by Mac, though. It would happen.

    “2. Gets hit and dies from bone fragmentation into the brain”
    Too technical and scientific. Boring.

    “3. Gets hit in the body, and breaks out into a sprint and almost kills one of them”
    Ridiculous.

    Because you know that Mac would be able to turn the golf clubs into a proton accelerator and zap a ghost into oblivion.

    “4. Gets hit and breaks out into a sprint and kills one of them then gets man handeled with the axe”
    Doubtful. That would imply that Mac isn’t capable of protecting Grady. Which he is. Grady is Mac’s Alfred. You don’t see Batman letting Alfred get hurt, now do you?

    “5. There are more Zombies and they will get ambushed”
    Meh.

    “6. Zombie Sprints then gets hit and a joke gets made about the clubs accuracy”
    Then Mac throws the club at the zombie, which decapitates it instead.

    “7. Nukes explode and end of comic, not likly but still a possablility lmfao jks that will not happen ”
    Stop ruining the surprise ending!

    Jake: “Not to nitpick Owen’s excellent art,”
    And yet you will anyway…

    “but it looks like Mac actually ended up going with an iron rather than the driver.”
    That was not a mistake. Mac was using the iron on purpose because using a driver would make it too easy. Mac likes a challenge, which is why he uses an axe to kill zombies instead of a gun.

    Now never nitpick on Owen’s artwork again, for you have been shamed by realizing your nitpicking of the art was nitpicking something intentional. Ha!

  128. Systemz Says:

    ok so all you did is solidify my point on how the golf ball wouldn’t blow the things head off lmfao, an iron has less force behind it then a driver so thatnks for prooving the 1st point for me mate

  129. Systemz Says:

    thanks*

  130. Caity Says:

    Pander: “It was a partial blink, I swear.”
    Likely story :::looks skeptical::: I’m keeping my eye on you, Mister. ::smirk::

    “Use your hands to massage…

    Fine, it doesn’t have to be a massage on my back. *lies on back*”
    Now, if you’re lying on your back, all you’re getting is a scalp massage…although I suppose the hands are still an option.

  131. token Says:

    hey, I’ve been lurking on this comic season about page30 whated to chime in and say I love plot was epic.

    But man what happened to the regular updates? There was constant stream of them then bam! Last it went dead with like just4 coming out and now it seems to be repeating? Plz what’s going on?
    Cos its the same with “marry me”, also a nice comic but nada is being released.
    I don’t usually whine cos they are free. But u gave a whole grand speech at beginning of the. Year and barely 2mnth in and everything went dead.
    So what’s happening bobby?

  132. Jon Pander Says:

    Systemz: “ok so all you did is solidify my point on how the golf ball wouldn’t blow the things head off”
    Unless struck by someone as awesome as Mac.

    “an iron has less force behind it then a driver”
    Even if it hits the zombie with 1/100th of the force of a driver, 1/100th of inifinite force is still infinite force, so I’m right and you’re wrong.

    ” so thatnks for prooving the 1st point for me”
    None of your points were proven, except the fact that you underestimate Mac’s power drive. Beware of golf balls heading in YOUR direction.

    ” mate”
    Who are you, Crocodile Dundee?

    Caity: ” I’m keeping my eye on you, Mister. ::smirk::”
    Any parts of me in particular that you’re keeping an eye on?

    “Now, if you’re lying on your back, all you’re getting is a scalp massage…although I suppose the hands are still an option.”
    Well… I do want to have you massage my head……

    *wink*/*partial blink*

    Sorry but you were leaving that one wide open.

  133. Caity Says:

    Pander: “Any parts of me in particular that you’re keeping an eye on?”
    Pretty much the whole in general. Gotta keep an eye out for nefarious/mischievous deeds.

    “Well… I do want to have you massage my head……

    *wink*/*partial blink*

    Sorry but you were leaving that one wide open.”
    *sigh* and that would be why I specifically said *scalp* and not head. Just for that reason, because I *knew* that I would regret it. *sigh* Specifically so I would *not* leave myself wide open. ::pouts:: And I do try so hard to work the language to my advantage. So mean of you to spoil my plans.

  134. Juan Navarro Says:

    Man loving this comic, even gave it a “WHAT_WHAT!” on my own comic Zombie Years. http://www.zombieyears.com/
    Keep it going man!

  135. Jessica Says:

    Frankly I think you handled the whole massage situation very graciously, Caity. Far more graciously than I would have.

    …I’m still working on essays and will catch up on answering all your posts/properly drafting contracts soon, I swear…

    Heaven knows I’ll break down and procrastinate for longer than it takes to quickly read through these comments soon enough.

  136. Jim McCarthy Says:

    How often does this comic update?

  137. Amy Says:

    I’ve been reading this comic for a while but I haven’t commented in ages because college has kept me busy.

    I’m proud to say I’m an abberation too. I read romance novels (if they have vampires in them). My favorite is the Love at Stake Series and I love zombie movies.

    I check this comic loyally every week to see if its updated.

  138. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: Pander: “Any parts of me in particular that you’re keeping an eye on?” Pretty much the whole in general.”
    Yep she’s like… totally into me, folks.

    “Gotta keep an eye out for nefarious/mischievous deeds.”
    The ladies dig the bad boys, folks.
    “*sigh* and that would be why I specifically said *scalp* and not head. Just for that reason, because I *knew* that I would regret it. *sigh*”
    It didn’t work. I still worked it in.

    “Specifically so I would *not* leave myself wide open. ::pouts::”
    Comments which I can make about the term ‘wide open’ are too numerous and would probably turn the forum into a 4chan clone, so I will not do so.

    Jessica: “Frankly I think you handled the whole massage situation very graciously, Caity. Far more graciously than I would have.”
    Nah, you adore me too, Jessica. The only difference is you do from a financial standpoint.

    Jim McCarthy: “How often does this comic update?”
    Every Saturday during which a pure white buffalo is born in the plains of Colorado. So sayeth the legend.

    By ‘legend,’ I of course am referring to myself.

    Amy: “I’ve been reading this comic for a while but I haven’t commented in ages because college has kept me busy.”
    That’s no excuse.

    “I check this comic loyally every week to see if its updated.”
    That’s why he’s not updating. To keep you coming back. Keeping you in suspense. It’s ingenius as a marketing strategy… the product of a truly devious mind.

  139. Jon Pander Says:

    Atirakis: “April fools?”

    You just hit the bullseye!
    And, to quote Zapp Branigan, when you hit that bull’s eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

  140. Systemz Says:

    Wow, I’m not gona lie on this one. Your points have no proof to them. Sure Mac is a great character but that doesn’t change the fact at all that a golf ball can cleave the head off of a Zombie, and dude what are you a no life looser who spends all his days looking through online forms to feel like he a part of something. Because after reading all of your coments all you do is Flame or “Hate” on other peoples ideas so here are 3 easy steps for you to follow in gaining a life;
    1. Get off of your fat ass, and put down the Cheetos, Chips, and fast food, Then go outside (I know it may sound hard because you have been secluded from the sunlight for so long but you can do it :D )
    2. Move out of your Parents Basement (Because they are not your Roomies they’re your Parents there’s a difference btw)
    3. Find a dude or chick cause you know you might swing that way. I can NOT speek for the dude part but pussy feels so much better then hand man.

    And just a question, you live in the states, either in the southen half or around the Mountain right? Cause if not honnestly man i think you nee to go back to school and get a better education.

  141. Systemz Says:

    speak*

  142. Dan Mayer Says:

    Systemz, I think you’re missing the point. The point is that Mac is awesome beyond all reason, so there’s no sense in trying to use reason argue against his awesomeness. The ordinary laws of real-world physics don’t apply to a fictional character who is basically made of awesome. Maybe you or me couldn’t kill a zombie with a 9-iron. For that matter, there aren’t any zombies to kill in the real world, so arguing the what-if scenario is a little silly. Need I remind you this is the same comic wherein they crash landed a plane mere feet short of destroying the school? Bobby writes to entertain; realism isn’t a big concern in this neck of the woods.

  143. Jon Pander Says:

    Systemz: ” Sure Mac is a great character but that doesn’t change the fact at all that a golf ball can cleave the head off of a Zombie,”
    So you agree with me that his awesomeness will destroy the zombie’s head via golf ball. Good. You can stop now.

    ” and dude what are you a no life looser who spends all his days looking through online forms to feel like he a part of something.”
    Nah I just have a lot of free time at work.
    And I don’t need to be a part of something. I lead ‘something’.

    “Because after reading all of your coments all you do is Flame or “Hate” on other peoples ideas”
    This is because I called you Crocodile Dundee, isnt it?

    What do you have against Paul Hogan, you Australiophobic!

    And btw, I totally disagree with your assessment of me. I do not flame. I instead embrace the cultural concept which is the Church of Pander, as its registered Deity.

    Nor do I hate. I wuv you. You make me feel superior, and I appreciate that. See?

    ” so here are 3 easy steps for you to follow in gaining a life;”
    (Systemz goes on to write out list of cliche’d insults which do not have any sort of flair or style to them)

    In part 1, he says I’m fat. *cry*
    In part 2, he says I live with my parents.
    And in part 3, he says that I’m gay.

    Well …. not fat, and not living with the parental units. But since this is the internet no one can truly prove that sort of stuff. Heck for all I know you could be spanking yourself while wearing a bondage outfit as you posted this comment.
    And…. Dude, do you even bother to read my comments that you’d think I’m gay? Or are you having trouble coming up with good comebacks so you just say ‘Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!’ I’ve seen better comebacks from head injury cases. Cmon…. use a simile or something innovative. Use a pop culture reference or something!

    Gaaaay.

    “And just a question, you live in the states, either in the southen half or around the Mountain right?”
    Nope. New York City. Thems where the big’un buildings be, partner.

    “Cause if not honnestly man i think you nee to go back to school and get a better education.”
    … he both tells me to get a better education while in the same sentence misspells ‘honestly’. Pretty sure I have several years more education than you, but again – how can we prove that on the internet?

    We can’t, so I’ll have to live with the admiration of the masses on the forum boards, as that’s all you really have to judge me by. Such is my fate.

    It’s too easy to top the juvenile style stuff you’ve posted. I mean seriously… you said ‘You’re fat, you live with your parents, and you’re gay!” I’ve heard better insults from the special needs guy they use at the firm to clean the bathrooms. I mean… I could say ‘I’m rubber and you’re glue’ and it would still be on the same level insult-wise.

    Instead I’m just going to point out to you that your insult kung fu is weak.

    If you can’t top an insult, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved. You seem unable to laugh comments off, so…….. yeah. :)

  144. Jon Pander Says:

    “Systemz: “ok so all you did is solidify my point on how the golf ball wouldn’t blow the things head off”
    Unless struck by someone as awesome as Mac.”

    Hrm.. ok here he says that a golf ball would not knock the zombie’s head off or explode it or whatever. Because Systemz has a lot of experience with destroying zombie heads, I reckon.

    “Sure Mac is a great character but that doesn’t change the fact at all that a golf ball can cleave the head off of a Zombie”
    And here he says it CAN cleave the head off the zombie.

    Dude…. make up your mind.

    ““Systemz: an iron has less force behind it then a driver
    Pander: Even if it hits the zombie with 1/100th of the force of a driver, 1/100th of inifinite force is still infinite force, so I’m right and you’re wrong.”
    “Systemz: Your points have no proof to them”
    Okay now lessee… here he says my points have no proof to them.

    Lets put aside the rather jokey nature of almost anything I post for a moment, shall we, dear readers?

    I said that 1/100th of infinite force is still infinite force. This is true.
    There – proof made.

    “Systemz: so thatnks for prooving the 1st point for me
    Pander: None of your points were proven, except the fact that you underestimate Mac’s power drive. Beware of golf balls heading in YOUR direction.”
    Ah here’s where it gets interesting, and which is the cause of him launching into a bunch of juvenile insult-flinging. He feels threatened by death by fictional golf ball, after I explained that his quibbling about the nature of Mac’s golf club was meaningless.

    “Systemz: what are you a no life looser who spends all his days looking through online forms”
    Dude…. you’re arguing about whether a golf club in a webcomic was a driver or an iron, and whether that club would have sufficient force to knock off a zombie’s head…… and you’re calling me a loser? Oh wait… no you called me a looser. Who reads… um… forms.

    “Pander: Who are you, Crocodile Dundee?”
    I apologize to Paul Hogan for comparing him to Systemz. The actor deserves better than that.

  145. Jon Pander Says:

    Dan Mayer: “Systemz, I think you’re missing the point.”
    Be careful, he’s going to call you a fat, gay shutin who lives with his parents now. He’s wicked good with second-grade insults :)

    “The point is that Mac is awesome beyond all reason, so there’s no sense in trying to use reason argue against his awesomeness.”
    This is true. And I’m tellin’ ya, Mac could use a putter to do the same dang thing if he wanted.

    “The ordinary laws of real-world physics don’t apply to a fictional character who is basically made of awesome.”
    Dan, you are brilliant beyond words.

    “Maybe you or me couldn’t kill a zombie with a 9-iron.”
    He couldn’t even kill a parapalegic chihuahua with a 9-iron.

    “For that matter, there aren’t any zombies to kill in the real world, so arguing the what-if scenario is a little silly.”
    Oh man he’s so gonna call you a gay fat guy who lives with his parents now! you’re sooo askin’ for it! I’m still trying to recover, personally.
    I was totally unprepared to match his wits and bad spelling in debating golf-club physics.

    “Need I remind you this is the same comic wherein they crash landed a plane mere feet short of destroying the school? Bobby writes to entertain; realism isn’t a big concern in this neck of the woods.”
    Whatever you do, don’t call Systemz Crocodile Dundee. He -hates- that.

  146. Dan Mayer Says:

    If we were characters on That 70′s Show, I’d probably declare “OH, BURN!” right about now.

  147. Jon Pander Says:

    Dan Mayer: “If we were characters on That 70’s Show, I’d probably declare “OH, BURN!” right about now.”
    You can almost envision the little gears turning in Systemz’s head as he tries to think up a follow up for his earlier flame attempts. He might call us poopyheads next. Or make some sort of refernce to our mothers. Or say we smell bad. Truly Systemz is the Don Rickles of the comments forum.

  148. Systemz Says:

    Ok maybe i didnt make myself clear with this point you no life son of a bitch. oviously you don’t have anything better to do with your life then flame people. ok here are some FACTS: . . . actually 1st i’m going to give you the definition of a fact: “a concept whose truth can be proved; scientific hypotheses are not facts” and infinity can not be proven therefore it is NOT a FACT. do you know why? BECAUSE IT CAN NOT BE PROVEN. a fact on the speed of a golf ball would be “Phil Mickelson hits his golf ball at a recorded speed of 78mph with an Iron” do you know why that is a fact? because it was recorded in real life and not in the little fantacy world you live in. and just for the record the point i was trying to make earlier is that all you do is flame because you most likly don’t have any real friends in life.

    And i was not the one who braught that up that was you up higher in the forms. All i was saying is that you where wrong with the speeds then you go and start flaming me. All i’m saying dude is that you need to calm the fuck down cause ALL of your comments involve you flaming someone, and here is another fact: talking shit over the internet doesn’t make you tough. All it really does is make you look like a fagget who hides in some basement and goes through internet forms all day. it is actually kinda funny that you would sink that low socially.

  149. Systemz Says:

    And btw double posting is evn funnier if your gona do hat to prove a point atleast space the times out by over a minute

  150. Systemz Says:

    Actually that was my bad he obiously a differnt person

  151. Jon Pander Says:

    Systemz: “Ok maybe i didnt make myself clear with this point you no life son of a bitch.”
    The cleverness of your retorts astound me.

    “oviously you don’t have anything better to do with your life then flame people.”
    See above quote by you.

    “ok here are some FACTS: . . . actually 1st i’m going to give you the definition of a fact: “a concept whose truth can be proved; scientific hypotheses are not facts” and infinity can not be proven therefore it is NOT a FACT. do you know why? BECAUSE IT CAN NOT BE PROVEN.”
    I think this might be the single most confusing sentence ever posted on this or any forum.

    Why, pray tell, are you trying to use facts to judge the velocity at which Mac, who is composed of sheer awesome, would need in order to destroy a zombie head with a driver vs an iron?

    “a fact on the speed of a golf ball would be “Phil Mickelson hits his golf ball at a recorded speed of 78mph with an Iron””
    Phil who?

    “do you know why that is a fact?”
    No. Please tell me. I’m truly interested to know….. hehe.

    “because it was recorded in real life and not in the little fantacy world you live in.”
    Technically it’s a fantasy that Mac and the other survivors live in.
    Yknow… since it’s a COMIC.

    Btw… so just to get this straight, I’m a looser (your spelling, not mine) and a gay fat dude who lives in his parents’ basement because I realize Mac is composed of awesome and can hit a golf ball through a zombie’s head in a webcomic about zombies and vampires.

    But you’re not a loser, because you have taken the time to look up obscure golfing facts and apply them to this fictional setting.

    Zombie.

    Vampires.

    Apocalyptic end of the world.

    Mac killing 1000 zombies in one battle.

    And you’re…. using supposedly real life golf history (I don’t know if you’re correct or just full of it, but I guess I have enough of a life that I’m not going to bother to look it up as you may have done) to judge this…

    Okay. So….. yeah.

    “and just for the record the point i was trying to make earlier is that all you do is flame because you most likly don’t have any real friends in life.”
    Oh god, he’s hit me with another one! “You have no friends! HA!”

    “And i was not the one who braught that up that was you up higher in the forms.”
    Again with the ‘forms’ – please what are these forms you speak of?

    “All i was saying is that you where wrong with the speeds then you go and start flaming me.”
    Mac can hit a golf ball at the speed of infinite force. Prove I’m wrong.

    I …. dare… you.

    “All i’m saying dude is that you need to calm the fuck down”
    Yes, truly I am the one among us who is swearing all over the pla- oh wait, no I’m not :)

    “cause ALL of your comments involve you flaming someone,”
    Such as…..

    “and here is another fact:”
    Goody, another fact!

    “talking shit over the internet doesn’t make you tough.”
    …. no, too obvious to comment on this to the guy cursing up a storm and ‘talking tough’… over the internet.

    “All it really does is make you look like a fagget”
    Combination of calling me gay -and- spelling it wrong.
    Your intellect is dizzying.

    “who hides in some basement”
    Please if you must insult, come up with newer, fresher, more stylish ones. You’ve now used two of the same already lame insults twice in a row.

    “and goes through internet forms all day.”
    Again with the forms…..

    “it is actually kinda funny that you would sink that low socially.”
    Please tell me the color of the sky in your world.
    I have no idea of half the things you’re attempting to reference, though I have to admit that we’re all having a major laugh fest at how crazed you’re getting over Mac’s awesomeness to golf ball velocity ratio.

    Systemz: “And btw double posting is evn funnier if your gona do hat to prove a point atleast space the times out by over a minute”
    1) You just posted twice within a minute as well.
    2) What the heck are you talking about?
    3) No seriously, the color of the sky in your world. I need to know.

    “Actually that was my bad he obiously a differnt person”
    Oh god his spelling is getting even worse.
    Yes. Dan Mayer is adifferent person than Jon Pander.
    The main thing the same about us is that we both think you’re totally insane. :)

  152. Jon Pander Says:

    Systemz: “infinity can not be proven therefore it is NOT a FACT. do you know why? BECAUSE IT CAN NOT BE PROVEN.”

    This particular gem of Systemz deserves special recognition.

    1) Infinity cannot be proven and is therefore not a fact because it can not be proven. Circular logic anyone?
    2) Infinity is a fact. therefore it can be proven, because it is a fact. Ha, two can play at your game!
    3) How many digits are there in pi? Wait… let me guess… pi is not a fact either, right?
    4) Mathematicians would be astounded that you’ve attempted to disprove ‘infinity’… there goes a whole branch of calculus. So lets see, you hate gay people, australians, and mathematicians.
    5) Would you be more comfortable if I used Graham’s Number?
    …. too bad, I’m still going to use infinity :)
    6) Regardless of whether infinity is a fact or not, Mac can hit at the speed of infinity, because he’s made of pure awesome. Not sure why this is so hard for you to fathom. Please go into a foaming rabid diatribe about how people can not be made out of awesome now, and how awesome is not a noun, and while you’re at it, please go into a semantic discussion of the origin of the word ‘awesome’ so that you can prove that -I’m- the one among us who has no life :)

  153. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Frankly I think you handled the whole massage situation very graciously, Caity. Far more graciously than I would have.”
    Thank you, I try not to stoop down to his level too often hehe. As for the contracts, no hurry. With this latest batch of comments, Pander seems to be trying to dig himself into a hole before the deal is sealed…maybe I can use this for more benefits…hmmm….

    kay, now the responses for the day for Pander…

    Pander: “Yep she’s like… totally into me, folks.”
    ::as an aside to ‘folks’:: actually, I’m just making him *think* I’m ‘totally’ into him so he’ll keep giving me pretty weaponry like the gun in Tremors 2 from earlier.

    “The ladies dig the bad boys, folks.”
    Rowr ™ ::snicker::

    “Comments which I can make about the term ‘wide open’ are too numerous and would probably turn the forum into a 4chan clone, so I will not do so.”
    hey, you were the one that used the phrase ‘wide open,’ I was merely quoting you, so you would be the one who brought that one on…to begin with anyway…and buhuhuh 4chan…never actually perused but have heard enough that I don’t want to.

    Alright now. For the…er…situation at hand.

    Systemz, hun, first off, take a deep breath, because judging by the typos of that last big post, you seem a little frazzled. Frankly the typos made the writer in me sad. Not trying to make fun of you, everyone does it. I’m just trying to say when you’re responding to someone in an aggressive way, having typos makes you seem more worked up than you might be.

    But anyway, I digress. In all honesty, I’m not sure where you’re getting all this stuff about hating and flames. I mean probably most of what Pander has said has been to either me or Jessica and while sometimes sarcastic or reminiscent of bad pick-up lines, it was all more or less banter, nothing hateful. Meant to fluster and embarrass, but not mean spirited.

    As for the rest of the stuff, well he’s not flaming or hating, it’s more teasing if anything. But mostly sarcastic banter. I know sarcasm doesn’t translate well over the internet, but well…that’s what it is. The fact that you won’t let it go and then you went as far as trying to insult him, well he probably saw that, rubbed his hands together in anticipation and glee, grinned, and set to typing. He will not stop. You can not ‘win’ if there is any such thing. Heck, he was teasing a girl on another forum about her kicking puppies for weeks. She made the mistake of allowing something so silly as comments on a forum to bother her and continued to comment on it, even for a little bit after people pointed out that if she stopped, he likely would too.

    So, all in all, take it with a grain of salt.

    (Sorry Pander, if listened to, I may have ruined your fun. Either that or now anger will be directed at me, I’m not sure which.)

  154. Caity Says:

    Actually, after reading the two posts that were put up while I was typing mine, pretty sure my little attempt at reason isn’t going to stem the flow of the overwhelming flood of rage that is probably about to burst the floodgates. Cheers!

    ::sits back to watch::

  155. Chris Says:

    I just finished the archives….in one day…and I’m bummed that it’s on hiatus…any news as to when it will return?

  156. Jessica Says:

    Careful Jon, I don’t think you’re far from causing Systemz to suffer an apoplexy.

    And Systemz, don’t call Jon fat. He is a god, ergo he has the body of a god. (This is a fact.)

    Caity: “I try not to stoop down to his level too often hehe” and “…or reminiscent of bad pick-up lines”

    Uh oh, Caity. I think that right there might be more hurtful than everything Systemz said combined.

    “As for the contracts, no hurry.”

    Thanks. I really will get to them soon. I want to do them right though, not just toss them off in a two-minute sitting. (Sadly, I’m not as quick on my feet as “MASTER” there.)

    Back to the essays I go…

  157. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Uh oh, Caity. I think that right there might be more hurtful than everything Systemz said combined.”
    I wouldn’t worry too much. I mean, I did mention that they were ‘Meant to fluster and embarrass,’ thereby allowing him to imply that *I* was flustered or embarrassed, which gives him ammo enough. And if he *didn’t* infer that, then I just handed it to him on a silver platter, so it all works out. Plus, I indirectly gave him a ‘Rowr ™’

    Considering his previously bawdy implications towards my innocent offers of massage, and the other stuff I mentioned, I’d say we’re even.

  158. Dan Mayer Says:

    I clearly need to participate here more. The drama in my everyday life doesn’t come close to this.

    Systemz, I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve here, but I’m going to go ahead and burst the bubble here. All your real-world points for why Mac can’t make a zombie’s head explode with a golf ball and a 9-iron are moot. Why? Because this entire scenario is fantasy. Zombies don’t exist. The zombie in question doesn’t exist. The clubs and ball don’t exist. Mac doesn’t really exist either, unless you count in Chuck Norris’ dreams since he’s the only person Chuck can imagine being able to kill him in his dreams. Except Bruce Lee, but that’s a whole other story.

    So please, stop arguing. No one really wants to flame you, but when you keep fighting and calling names, you’re asking for it. If you can’t accept Jon’s belief that a fictional character could do something fictional, then your entire perspective on life needs adjustment. In your case, I’d have to recommend mushrooms or other powerful hallucinogens.

  159. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: “Thank you, I try not to stoop down to his level too often hehe.”
    Please, swoop down. It’s nice down here.

    “As for the contracts, no hurry. With this latest batch of comments, Pander seems to be trying to dig himself into a hole before the deal is sealed…maybe I can use this for more benefits…hmmm….”
    pshaw!

    “::as an aside to ‘folks’:: actually, I’m just making him *think* I’m ‘totally’ into him so he’ll keep giving me pretty weaponry like the gun in Tremors 2 from earlier.”
    She’s using me, but she’s cute so I don’t care, folks.

    “Rowr ™ ::snicker::”
    Yeah… DEFINITELY into me.

    “hey, you were the one that used the phrase ‘wide open,’ I was merely quoting you,”
    When you quote a deviant, you become a deviant yourself.

    “Not trying to make fun of you, everyone does it.”
    Yes, everyone likes to make fun of you, Systemz. See? Independent corroboration of that fact! :)

    “I’m just trying to say when you’re responding to someone in an aggressive way, having typos makes you seem more worked up than you might be.”
    Hey now Caity, he’s getting worked up over something very important to him. Fictional infinite speed force velocity of golf balls are no joke!

    Oh wait… never mind.

    “But anyway, I digress. In all honesty, I’m not sure where you’re getting all this stuff about hating and flames.”
    He might be referring to the fact that I called him Crocodile Dundee, but it doesn’t seem like much of a flame. Hence my suspicion that he simply hates Australians and Paul Hogan in particular.

    “I mean probably most of what Pander has said has been to either me or Jessica and while sometimes sarcastic or reminiscent of bad pick-up lines,”
    Don’t underestimate bad pickup lines.
    But isn’t it funny how one of the big blowouts (pardon the pun) he made t ome was saying I was gay. When most of my posts tend to be quite lecherous to the opposite sex.

    “Meant to fluster and embarrass, but not mean spirited.”
    I love you, Caity.

    “But mostly sarcastic banter. I know sarcasm doesn’t translate well over the internet, but well…that’s what it is. The fact that you won’t let it go and then you went as far as trying to insult him, well he probably saw that, rubbed his hands together in anticipation and glee, grinned, and set to typing.”
    It tastes like happy!

    “He will not stop. You can not ‘win’ if there is any such thing.”
    Victory is mine!

    “Heck, he was teasing a girl on another forum about her kicking puppies for weeks.”
    ahem… karate-chopping puppies. She stopped kicking them after a week and moved on to other stuff.

    ” She made the mistake of allowing something so silly as comments on a forum to bother her and continued to comment on it, even for a little bit after people pointed out that if she stopped, he likely would too.”
    Which I did. Sorta. I sorta did progress to her bunny-shanking tendencies, but the oomph just wasn’t there. Meh I wuv Ellie even though she’s a barbarian queen. I have no doubt that one day she will find the path back to the Church of Pander.

    “(Sorry Pander, if listened to, I may have ruined your fun. Either that or now anger will be directed at me, I’m not sure which.)”
    With any luck, he’ll start calling YOU gay instead. When a woman’s accused of being gay, it’s much hotter.

    But maybe someone can finally tell me what these ‘forms’ he keeps yapping about are for?

    Caity: “Actually, after reading the two posts that were put up while I was typing mine, pretty sure my little attempt at reason isn’t going to stem the flow of the overwhelming flood of rage that is probably about to burst the floodgates. Cheers!”
    I know you’re on Team Pander for this one, Caity my weapon-obsessed sweet.

    Chris: “I just finished the archives….in one day…and I’m bummed that it’s on hiatus…any news as to when it will return?”
    Once you let your guard down. Just like the real zombie apocalypse.

    Jessica: “Careful Jon, I don’t think you’re far from causing Systemz to suffer an apoplexy.”
    Really??? :)

    “And Systemz, don’t call Jon fat. He is a god, ergo he has the body of a god. (This is a fact.)”
    Amen.

    “Uh oh, Caity. I think that right there might be more hurtful than everything Systemz said combined.”
    While immensely more hurtful than Systemz’s apoplexy-inducing rants,
    I think of it as a challenge to find way to get Caity to stoop down, and while she’s down there I have other ideas.

    “(Sadly, I’m not as quick on my feet as “MASTER” there.)”
    She means me, Systemz. MASTER. Me. Moi.

    Caity: “I wouldn’t worry too much. I mean, I did mention that they were ‘Meant to fluster and embarrass,’ thereby allowing him to imply that *I* was flustered or embarrassed, which gives him ammo enough.”
    This is true.

    “And if he *didn’t* infer that, then I just handed it to him on a silver platter, so it all works out. Plus, I indirectly gave him a ‘Rowr ™’ ”
    The rowr made me know that she’s totally, utterly into me.

    Dan Mayer: “I clearly need to participate here more. The drama in my everyday life doesn’t come close to this.”
    My every day life consists of writing interrogatories and handling depos on the phone so this is far more fun.

    “Systemz, I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve here, but I’m going to go ahead and burst the bubble here.”
    Seriously man, you’re totally fearless. That Systemz guy has a razor sharp tongue and can call you gay, parent-basement-dwelling, gay again, and friendless, while yelling at you to calm down.

    It’s like trying to match wits with a hyperactive chihuahua on meth. Sure you could win, but you still might get your ankles bitten.

    Wait… that makes no sense at all. And yet it’s still going to probably be better than Systemz’s comeback… and spelled better too.

    “All your real-world points for why Mac can’t make a zombie’s head explode with a golf ball and a 9-iron are moot. Why? Because this entire scenario is fantasy. Zombies don’t exist. The zombie in question doesn’t exist. The clubs and ball don’t exist.”
    Does this mean that Systemz is not going to be looking up any more golf ball velocities?

    “Mac doesn’t really exist either,”
    Hey now you just shut your mouth there, mister!

    “unless you count in Chuck Norris’ dreams since he’s the only person Chuck can imagine being able to kill him in his dreams.”
    This… is true.

    “Except Bruce Lee, but that’s a whole other story.”
    Little known fact. When Chuck Norris fought Bruce Lee in that movie, they had to cut every 15 minutes after Chuck would kick Bruce Lee so Bruce could curl into a fetal ball and cry for three days. Luckily, Chuck was pumped full of 75 elephant tranquilizers at the time so that his kick wouldn’t kill Bruce.

    “So please, stop arguing. No one really wants to flame you,”
    a-hem? :)

    “If you can’t accept Jon’s belief that a fictional character could do something fictional, then your entire perspective on life needs adjustment.”
    Such as getting one.

    “In your case, I’d have to recommend mushrooms or other powerful hallucinogens.”
    I did ask him the color of the sky in his world….

  160. Jessica Says:

    Jon Pander: “I think of it as a challenge to find way to get Caity to stoop down, and while she’s down there I have other ideas. ”

    …Caity, I am so sorry.

    “Fictional infinite speed force velocity of golf balls are no joke!”

    What is this “speed force velocity” you speak of? Velocity is a measure of displacement over a period of time, speed takes direction into account (so that it’s distance over time) and force approximates to mass multiplied by acceleration. Except that doesn’t work when one approaches the speed of light, in which case one needs a far more complex, relativistic equation (as I’m sure is the case when Mac hits a golf ball. Hell, Mac can defy the known laws of physics and hit a golf ball faster than the speed of light if he feels like it. In which case its mass would become infinite, and easily cause a zombie’s head to explode. Problem solved?)

    (I miss physics classes. There were no essays in my physics classes.)

  161. Silent Says:

    It’s possible that given most zombies are decomposed corpses that the very fructure of the bone and flesh is weak, meaning that if enough force is put behind the drive that Mac could indeed destroy said zombie with a five iron and golf ball.

  162. Jon Pander Says:

    Jessica: “What is this “speed force velocity” you speak of? Velocity is a measure of displacement over a period of time, speed takes direction into account (so that it’s distance over time) and force approximates to mass multiplied by acceleration.”
    Mac is so awesome that his physics no longer care about your fancy mumbo jumbo science.

    “Except that doesn’t work when one approaches the speed of light, in which case one needs a far more complex, relativistic equation (as I’m sure is the case when Mac hits a golf ball. Hell, Mac can defy the known laws of physics and hit a golf ball faster than the speed of light if he feels like it. In which case its mass would become infinite, and easily cause a zombie’s head to explode. Problem solved?)”
    Systemz, are you gonna call HER a gay friendless shut-in now also? Because she seems pretty dang smart.

    Silent: “It’s possible that given most zombies are decomposed corpses that the very fructure of the bone and flesh is weak, meaning that if enough force is put behind the drive that Mac could indeed destroy said zombie with a five iron and golf ball.”
    Or a putter.

    Or a loogie. This is MAC we’re talking about, remember.

  163. Caity Says:

    Pander: “Please, swoop down. It’s nice down here.”
    What? It’s climate controlled or something?

    “She’s using me, but she’s cute so I don’t care, folks.”
    ::winks::

    “Yeah… DEFINITELY into me.”
    Well, I did mention later that that was *indirect*, meaning you might be right about me ‘digging bad boys’…or at least the idea of, not sure that I would like the real deal…but I have yet to admit that you are, in fact, a ‘bad boy.’ Having said that, I’m sure that now you’re probably going to endeavor to prove your bad boy status…

    “When you quote a deviant, you become a deviant yourself.”
    I probably technically already was one, considering I’m a member of the art site by that name…

    “But isn’t it funny how one of the big blowouts (pardon the pun) he made t ome was saying I was gay. When most of my posts tend to be quite lecherous to the opposite sex.”
    I did find that rather amusing…he obviously hasn’t read the previous page of the Marry Me forums…or really paid attention to the banter between you, Jessica, and I.

    “I love you, Caity”
    ……….oh dear…..(and just because I know you’ll likely get untold amusement) :::blush:::

    “well he probably saw that, rubbed his hands together in anticipation and glee, grinned, and set to typing.”
    It tastes like happy!”
    See?

    “Which I did. Sorta. I sorta did progress to her bunny-shanking tendencies, but the oomph just wasn’t there. Meh I wuv Ellie even though she’s a barbarian queen. I have no doubt that one day she will find the path back to the Church of Pander.”
    I imagine she has a special place in her heart for you, Pander…granted it may not be a very *nice* place….but special all the same.

    “I know you’re on Team Pander for this one, Caity my weapon-obsessed sweet.”
    ::smile:: you know me so well ^.~ …I was going to make another comment, but decided that it was *way* to easy to turn dirty

    “Jon Pander: “I think of it as a challenge to find way to get Caity to stoop down, and while she’s down there I have other ideas. ”

    …Caity, I am so sorry.”
    It’s just such a *big* drop…and I’m rather afraid of heights, so I’m kind of fidgeting at the edge of the step, wondering if it’s really worth it and on the verge of darting back up to safer, less sketchy neighborhoods ^.~

    “Systemz, are you gonna call HER a gay friendless shut-in now also? Because she seems pretty dang smart.”
    And if the party in question does happen to call the both of us gay, as you have warned, I’m sure you’ll be the first to encourage us to prove him right just this once.

  164. Jessica Says:

    …You know, it’s gonna be brutal when I actually do try and catch up and reply to everything that caught my eye. In the meantime…

    Caity: “I probably technically already was one, considering I’m a member of the art site by that name…”

    Oh, are you on Deviantart? What’s your name there? I’d love to read some of your work.

    Jon Pander: “My every day life consists of writing interrogatories and handling depos on the phone so this is far more fun.”

    What exactly do you do, anyway?

  165. Jon Pander Says:

    Caity: “What? It’s climate controlled or something?”
    If I said yes, would that convince you?

    “Having said that, I’m sure that now you’re probably going to endeavor to prove your bad boy status…”
    Less talky, more massage-y.

    Actually… talky t oo – tell me a story. And make sure there’s a happy ending.

    In fact, forget the story.

    “I did find that rather amusing…he obviously hasn’t read the previous page of the Marry Me forums…or really paid attention to the banter between you, Jessica, and I.”
    Maybe he thinks you are all guys. I dunno. Then again he also thought that trying to start a flame war with me would be succesful (while in fact it simply feeds me)

    “……….oh dear…..(and just because I know you’ll likely get untold amusement) :::blush:::”
    Totally….. utterly… into me, folks.

    “I imagine she has a special place in her heart for you, Pander”
    Or another part of my anatomy.

    “…granted it may not be a very *nice* place….”
    Oh it’s a wonderful place. I’m planning on setting up a theme park there.

    Sort of like Great Adventure. More flags, more fun.

    “I was going to make another comment, but decided that it was *way* to easy to turn dirty”
    How’s that different than anything else I say?

    “It’s just such a *big* drop…and I’m rather afraid of heights,”
    A wise man once said, “If you’re afraid of heights, go to the depths. It’s a shorter fall.”

    “so I’m kind of fidgeting at the edge of the step, wondering if it’s really worth it”
    It’s totally worth it. The view is great.

    ” and on the verge of darting back up to safer, less sketchy neighborhoods ^.~”
    By the way, that wise man was me.

    “And if the party in question does happen to call the both of us gay, as you have warned, I’m sure you’ll be the first to encourage us to prove him right just this once.”
    It’s a well known fact that lesbians = hot. I read it on the internet.

    Jessica: “What exactly do you do, anyway?”
    It’s funny, given what your function is for the Church of Pander. I’m an attorney :)

    No, seriously.

    Really. Stop laughing.

    I work on a contract attorney basis in corporate litigation, mergers and acquisition (mainly gunjumping cases and SEC reviews), and pharmaceutical intellectual property cases usually. They’re usually rather large, boring cases, and I usually don’t wind up being in court. Most of my job involves Lexis NEXIS and Westlaw research, writing interrogatories, pleadings, etc, determining which documents are relevant, and conducting depositions – very rare that it goes to trial. So I get a lot of computer time.

    pleeease stop laughing :)

  166. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Oh, are you on Deviantart? What’s your name there? I’d love to read some of your work.”
    Yup, my name there is thoughtfulillusion. Most of my writing there is poetry, and then there’s this one disturbing story that my teacher deserves complete blame for. He challenged one other girl and myself to write outside of our…comfort zones I guess? My stuff was usually fantasy or…well I don’t know how to describe while hers was generally more intimacy and relationships…the resulting story creeped both me and him out haha and not in a ‘weird fetish’ sort of way but a ‘creepy stalker’ kind of way.

    “If I said yes, would that convince you?’
    Hah, probably not.

    “Less talky, more massage-y.

    Actually… talky t oo – tell me a story. And make sure there’s a happy ending.

    In fact, forget the story.”
    It’s official. You’re incorrigible…and cut off from massages until I decide otherwise. Heh, bad Pander, no cookie for you. (and that’s not the bad boy type of bad, you haven’t proved yourself bad boy yet, more lecher boy ^.~)

    “Maybe he thinks you are all guys. I dunno. Then again he also thought that trying to start a flame war with me would be succesful (while in fact it simply feeds me)”
    Well, you have previously said that there are no girls on the internet, maybe he actually believes it. Granted, I’m sure Jessica and I would beg to differ. Heh, and the latter idea is just…well he was obviously under-informed about interweb wars tasting like happy to you.

    “Totally….. utterly… into me, folks.”
    You’re just hoping you’ll get me into the harem without this whole contract and High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter stuff.

    “Or another part of my anatomy.”
    I think by the end there she wouldn’t have minded separating you from ‘another part’ of your anatomy.

    “How’s that different than anything else I say?”
    True…

    “It’s totally worth it. The view is great.”
    I don’t know. You’re mind seems to dwell in the gutter, and I honestly don’t think that the gutter has a very nice view.

    “By the way, that wise man was me.”
    Yeah, that’s what I figured. It may be a shorter fall, but it’s also not as scenic. Also, depths makes me think caves, which makes me think of crawling through small tunnels, which reminds me I’m slightly claustrophobic as far as that type of situation goes.

    “It’s a well known fact that lesbians = hot. I read it on the internet.”
    Do you believe everything you read on the internet? Or just things that catch your fancy? Because if it’s the former, what do you do when two things you read contradict each other?

    “I’m an attorney

    No, seriously.

    Really. Stop laughing.”
    ::chuckles::: sorry, but it’s a rather amusing image. Some stereotypical looking attorney (not that you are, just the image in my head for the purpose of this scenario), all serious in front of clients and serious to semi-serious in front of colleagues (this is probably not true for you, somehow I can’t picture you being completely serious), and then sitting down in front of his computer in his office, making snarky comments and dirty jokes to people on the internet. On a comic about zombie apocalypse. With vampires. :::laughs::: see? I keep laughing

  167. sco3tt Says:

    Wow, Mac sure is awesome. Has anyone else noticed that? I’ve been back here almost every day since this last update and Mac doesn’t seem any less awesome as time passes.

  168. Jessica Says:

    Jon Pander: “It’s funny, given what your function is for the Church of Pander. I’m an attorney”

    I’m tempted to tell you that if that’s the case, you can write your own damn contracts (mostly ’cause now I’ll be embarassed by my fake ones.)

    Also, would you prefer that I think of you as Alan Shore or Denny Crane? I’m okay with either, since they’re both leches.

    “Less talky, more massage-y.”

    Weren’t you complaining at someone else on the Marry Me comments because he was stealing from Sohmer?

    Caity: “Yup, my name there is thoughtfulillusion.”

    Alright, I shall hunt you down.

  169. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “Alright, I shall hunt you down.”
    Hmmm…maybe I should go put up some prose a bit better than that creeptastic “Mainesthai” story…yes :::scampers to find that file she knows exists somewhere on her comp::

  170. Jon Pander Says:

    sco3tt: “Wow, Mac sure is awesome. Has anyone else noticed that?”
    No, no one has ever noticed that.

    “I’ve been back here almost every day since this last update and Mac doesn’t seem any less awesome as time passes.”
    Ohhhh you mean THAT Mac. Yeah he’s awesome.

    Jessica: “I’m tempted to tell you that if that’s the case, you can write your own damn contracts (mostly ’cause now I’ll be embarassed by my fake ones.)”
    Take this in any way you’d like, but I believe fake ones can be just as good, if not better, than real ones.

    “Also, would you prefer that I think of you as Alan Shore or Denny Crane? I’m okay with either, since they’re both leches.”
    I’m fine with either reference. Indeed, I’d be proud of it.

    “Weren’t you complaining at someone else on the Marry Me comments because he was stealing from Sohmer?”
    Good eye! And I’m very consistent in my inconsistency.

  171. Jessica Says:

    Caity: “Hmmm…maybe I should go put up some prose a bit better than that creeptastic “Mainesthai” story…yes :::scampers to find that file she knows exists somewhere on her comp::”

    But creeptastic sounds fun!

    Jon Pander: “Take this in any way you’d like, but I believe fake ones can be just as good, if not better, than real ones.”

    Not at all sure how to take it, but I will post a preliminary contract this weekend. I’m about to be travelling for 12 hours without internet access though. Try not to anger your future high priestess in my absence.

    “I’m fine with either reference. Indeed, I’d be proud of it.”

    I’ll go with Alan Shore then.

    “Good eye! And I’m very consistent in my inconsistency.”

    Thank you. I try. And indeed you are.

  172. Caity Says:

    Jessica: “But creeptastic sounds fun!”
    By all means, go ahead and read hehe. I just didn’t want it to be the solitary example of my prose hehe

    “…travelling for 12 hours without internet access”
    Hope your trip or whatever it is goes well! ^.^

    “Try not to anger your future high priestess in my absence.”
    I’m starting to wonder if he’s giving me the silent treatment. I mean he didn’t reply to my post, so I figure it’s either that or he just missed it under his post since I posted the shorter one after yours.

  173. Nuin Says:

    Caity: “And I’m back again, and I come bearing amusement.
    1) http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html this list is both awesome and eerily possible.”

    I love you . Can I be you minion instead of panders …….pwease :)

    Pander: “Except for Jon Pander, who instead has throngs of female minion followers and harem girls.”

    I think I like harem girl better than minion. It sounds prettier.

    But I’ve already won caity over by agreeing with her in a earlier post . I could trying fawning over pander but I’m out of tequila, I do however have a nice single malt scotch I got for my 21st birthday.

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