I love you . Can I be you minion instead of panders …….pwease

Pander: “Except for Jon Pander, who instead has throngs of female minion followers and harem girls.”

I think I like harem girl better than minion. It sounds prettier.

But I’ve already won caity over by agreeing with her in a earlier post . I could trying fawning over pander but I’m out of tequila, I do however have a nice single malt scotch I got for my 21st birthday.

“…travelling for 12 hours without internet access”
Hope your trip or whatever it is goes well! ^.^

“Try not to anger your future high priestess in my absence.”
I’m starting to wonder if he’s giving me the silent treatment. I mean he didn’t reply to my post, so I figure it’s either that or he just missed it under his post since I posted the shorter one after yours.

But creeptastic sounds fun!

Jon Pander: “Take this in any way you’d like, but I believe fake ones can be just as good, if not better, than real ones.”

Not at all sure how to take it, but I will post a preliminary contract this weekend. I’m about to be travelling for 12 hours without internet access though. Try not to anger your future high priestess in my absence.

“I’m fine with either reference. Indeed, I’d be proud of it.”

I’ll go with Alan Shore then.

“Good eye! And I’m very consistent in my inconsistency.”

Thank you. I try. And indeed you are.

“I’ve been back here almost every day since this last update and Mac doesn’t seem any less awesome as time passes.”
Ohhhh you mean THAT Mac. Yeah he’s awesome.

Jessica: “I’m tempted to tell you that if that’s the case, you can write your own damn contracts (mostly ’cause now I’ll be embarassed by my fake ones.)”
Take this in any way you’d like, but I believe fake ones can be just as good, if not better, than real ones.

“Also, would you prefer that I think of you as Alan Shore or Denny Crane? I’m okay with either, since they’re both leches.”
I’m fine with either reference. Indeed, I’d be proud of it.

“Weren’t you complaining at someone else on the Marry Me comments because he was stealing from Sohmer?”
Good eye! And I’m very consistent in my inconsistency.

I’m tempted to tell you that if that’s the case, you can write your own damn contracts (mostly ’cause now I’ll be embarassed by my fake ones.)

Also, would you prefer that I think of you as Alan Shore or Denny Crane? I’m okay with either, since they’re both leches.

“Less talky, more massage-y.”

Weren’t you complaining at someone else on the Marry Me comments because he was stealing from Sohmer?

Caity: “Yup, my name there is thoughtfulillusion.”

Alright, I shall hunt you down.

“If I said yes, would that convince you?’
Hah, probably not.

“Less talky, more massage-y.

Actually… talky t oo – tell me a story. And make sure there’s a happy ending.

In fact, forget the story.”
It’s official. You’re incorrigible…and cut off from massages until I decide otherwise. Heh, bad Pander, no cookie for you. (and that’s not the bad boy type of bad, you haven’t proved yourself bad boy yet, more lecher boy ^.~)

“Maybe he thinks you are all guys. I dunno. Then again he also thought that trying to start a flame war with me would be succesful (while in fact it simply feeds me)”
Well, you have previously said that there are no girls on the internet, maybe he actually believes it. Granted, I’m sure Jessica and I would beg to differ. Heh, and the latter idea is just…well he was obviously under-informed about interweb wars tasting like happy to you.

“Totally….. utterly… into me, folks.”
You’re just hoping you’ll get me into the harem without this whole contract and High Priestess of the Last Blood chapter stuff.

“Or another part of my anatomy.”
I think by the end there she wouldn’t have minded separating you from ‘another part’ of your anatomy.

“How’s that different than anything else I say?”
True…

“It’s totally worth it. The view is great.”
I don’t know. You’re mind seems to dwell in the gutter, and I honestly don’t think that the gutter has a very nice view.

“By the way, that wise man was me.”
Yeah, that’s what I figured. It may be a shorter fall, but it’s also not as scenic. Also, depths makes me think caves, which makes me think of crawling through small tunnels, which reminds me I’m slightly claustrophobic as far as that type of situation goes.

“It’s a well known fact that lesbians = hot. I read it on the internet.”
Do you believe everything you read on the internet? Or just things that catch your fancy? Because if it’s the former, what do you do when two things you read contradict each other?

“I’m an attorney

No, seriously.

Really. Stop laughing.”
::chuckles::: sorry, but it’s a rather amusing image. Some stereotypical looking attorney (not that you are, just the image in my head for the purpose of this scenario), all serious in front of clients and serious to semi-serious in front of colleagues (this is probably not true for you, somehow I can’t picture you being completely serious), and then sitting down in front of his computer in his office, making snarky comments and dirty jokes to people on the internet. On a comic about zombie apocalypse. With vampires. :::laughs::: see? I keep laughing

“Having said that, I’m sure that now you’re probably going to endeavor to prove your bad boy status…”
Less talky, more massage-y.

Actually… talky t oo – tell me a story. And make sure there’s a happy ending.

In fact, forget the story.

“I did find that rather amusing…he obviously hasn’t read the previous page of the Marry Me forums…or really paid attention to the banter between you, Jessica, and I.”
Maybe he thinks you are all guys. I dunno. Then again he also thought that trying to start a flame war with me would be succesful (while in fact it simply feeds me)

“……….oh dear…..(and just because I know you’ll likely get untold amusement) :::blush:::”
Totally….. utterly… into me, folks.

“I imagine she has a special place in her heart for you, Pander”
Or another part of my anatomy.

“…granted it may not be a very *nice* place….”
Oh it’s a wonderful place. I’m planning on setting up a theme park there.

Sort of like Great Adventure. More flags, more fun.

“I was going to make another comment, but decided that it was *way* to easy to turn dirty”
How’s that different than anything else I say?

“It’s just such a *big* drop…and I’m rather afraid of heights,”
A wise man once said, “If you’re afraid of heights, go to the depths. It’s a shorter fall.”

“so I’m kind of fidgeting at the edge of the step, wondering if it’s really worth it”
It’s totally worth it. The view is great.

” and on the verge of darting back up to safer, less sketchy neighborhoods ^.~”
By the way, that wise man was me.

“And if the party in question does happen to call the both of us gay, as you have warned, I’m sure you’ll be the first to encourage us to prove him right just this once.”
It’s a well known fact that lesbians = hot. I read it on the internet.

Jessica: “What exactly do you do, anyway?”
It’s funny, given what your function is for the Church of Pander. I’m an attorney

No, seriously.

Really. Stop laughing.

I work on a contract attorney basis in corporate litigation, mergers and acquisition (mainly gunjumping cases and SEC reviews), and pharmaceutical intellectual property cases usually. They’re usually rather large, boring cases, and I usually don’t wind up being in court. Most of my job involves Lexis NEXIS and Westlaw research, writing interrogatories, pleadings, etc, determining which documents are relevant, and conducting depositions – very rare that it goes to trial. So I get a lot of computer time.

pleeease stop laughing

Caity: “I probably technically already was one, considering I’m a member of the art site by that name…”

Oh, are you on Deviantart? What’s your name there? I’d love to read some of your work.

Jon Pander: “My every day life consists of writing interrogatories and handling depos on the phone so this is far more fun.”

What exactly do you do, anyway?